


Some things never change

by LilithFeminaPrima



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Cellist Zelda, College Years, Dates, Dinner, Eventual Smut, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Internal Conflict, Internal Monologue, Lilith is Mary's twin sister, Non-magical AU, Self-Harm, Spellwel, Suicide Attempt, Teacher/Student friendship, Teenage Crush, True Love, Zelda's best friend is called Miranda because I am gay and have no inspiration, and she's really cool, mentions of eating disorders, soft, teacher/student relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:09:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 47,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26948755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilithFeminaPrima/pseuds/LilithFeminaPrima
Summary: Non-magical AU where Zelda Spellman is a musician. She went to Baxter High in her youth and developed a strong friendship with her history teacher, Mary Wardwell, and on whom she has had a crush for the past ten years (well...a lot more than a crush actually). When she returns, they meet again and....well, stuff happens...
Relationships: Hilda Spellman & Zelda Spellman, Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith & Original Mary Wardwell, Zelda Spellman & Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith, Zelda Spellman & Original Female Character(s), Zelda Spellman/Original Mary Wardwell
Comments: 234
Kudos: 134





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the link to my favourite cellist playing Elgar's concerto in case you want to listen to it.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPhkZW_jwc0

It had been two years since Zelda Spellman had graduated with honours from the Juilliard School, earning a Bachelors and a Master of Music degree, before further studying to become a Doctor of Musical Arts. She had taken every opportunity to play recitals, but building a career as a performer proved itself even more difficult than she had expected, and she had begun to wonder if she had made the right decision in following her life-long dream.

She started playing the cello when she was only five years old, having grown up in a very musical family. Her sister Hilda played the viola, her brother Edward, the violin, her father was a renowned concert pianist, and her mother a successful opera singer. They would spend almost all of their free time playing chamber music together, and when the redhead turned ten, she knew with unwavering certainty that this was what she wanted to spend her life doing.

She grew up in the small town of Greendale, where she did all of her general studies. She and her siblings were always seen as odd, quite excentric. Actually, the whole Spellman family was -living in an imposing victorian manor on the outskirts of town- but she never cared, was even proud of the fact.

Her both best and worst years living in her hometown were the ones she spent at Baxter High; she had few friends, was teased and mocked for being “aloof” and “a nerd”, but she read every book she could get her hands on, learning as much as she could in every domain. She had a favourite teacher, Miss Wardwell, who taught history, and her knowledge seemed endless, which fascinated a teenage Zelda. She listened with rapt attention during all of her classes, and would pop by her office quite regularly and ask for additional reading.

At some point during her second year, she realised her obsession with history was probably due to how passionate her teacher was about the subject. She had even been to her cottage a few times for tea, and they would discuss philosophy, history, engaging in rather passionate debates. Overtime, Zelda couldn’t deny that she wasn’t merely fascinated by the woman’s vast knowledge anymore, but by her as a person too. She had a strong desire to know her, get to know all of her, which was confusing.

Mary Wardwell wasn’t the type of woman the redhead would have considered “beautiful” upon first glance, but the more time she spent with her, and the more she observed her, she found her features quite striking; cheekbones sharper than she’d ever seen before, ice-blue eyes that twinkled with curiosity, and that incredibly sweet smile she gave her every time she saw her. She then couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed all of those details sooner. Did she have a crush on her? Maybe. Was she in denial of it? Probably, but that hadn’t lasted long.

Regardless of Zelda’s reputation in town and at school, all the boys seemed to want her; she clearly was the most beautiful girl in all of Greendale afterall. It certainly was flattering, but she couldn’t care less; she only had eyes for her teacher.

She never talked about her feelings that tormented her to anyone, that sometimes kept her up at night, for she felt incredibly stupid,  _ ashamed  _ even.  _ She is older than my mother, for God’s sake! What the fuck is wrong with me? _ She would think, tossing and turning in bed for hours until exhaustion would take over. Her sleep didn’t provide much rest however, for the dark-haired woman had started appearing in her dreams as well.

She sometimes wondered how such a wonderful woman seemed to be living alone. She had heard she had a fiancé who was a doctor and often worked overseas, but she never talked about him -and why would she?

She started finding increasingly less subtle excuses to visit her -whether it be at her home or her office- and she hoped against all hope that the way she felt would go unnoticed. Everytime she saw her, butterflies would flutter around in the pit of her stomach, and her heart swelled upon seeing the older woman’s smile and hearing her calm, melodious voice. At school, some of her classmates would send her suspicious glances when they noticed the way she stared at Miss Wardwell, especially when she once unconsciously let her eyes rove over her body not so discreetly. Thankfully, Mary didn’t seem to have realised though.

When the brunette found out she played the cello, she revealed that it had always been her favourite instrument; the sound of it closest to the human voice, in her opinion. She played the piano, and Zelda had somehow never noticed the small grand piano that sat in a far corner of her cottage. Their conversations now most often gravitated towards music, their favourite composers, and they would spend hours anylysing scores of many different genres.

After about a month, the redhead explained that she had to prepare Edward Elgar’s cello concerto for the Juilliard entrance exam, and her teacher immediately suggested she accompany her on the piano as practice. Zelda did her best to hide her excitement, but failed quite miserably when she blushed furiously at the proposition, and Mary simply smiled at her, not wanting to embarrass her favourite student in any way.

They started playing together regularly; the redhead would visit her twice a week, and they went through almost all of the cello and piano repertoire after the teenager felt she had mastered her main exam piece. Zelda had never felt such a strong musical connection to anyone before -well maybe not only musical- but she tried not to question it. 

When she received her acceptance letter from Juilliard, she jumped in joy, and her first thought was to call Mary to announce the good news. Her teacher’s excitement could have rivaled her own, and she invited her to the cottage. They laughed and talked over a bottle of red wine -because she had finally turned eighteen- and played music until well past midnight. They started meeting more regularly, whether it was for coffee or at her house to cook, read, or play music, both sensing that they were running out of time, in a way.

That went on until graduation, and the girl felt a tug at her heart at the knowledge that she wouldn’t see the woman for an undefined amount of time. She had been her mentor, her friend, and most importantly, her first love, which she thought of as the worst and most beautiful thing that had happened to her in her yet short life.

The night before she was to leave, she went to her teacher’s cottage and softly knocked on the door.

“Zelda? I- not that I am not happy to see you, but it’s terribly late…”

“I’m sorry, Miss- Mary...I just wanted to come and say goodbye. I am flying to New York tomorrow morning.”

She stuttered, for the other woman had recently told her she should start calling her by her first name.

“Oh...right. Would you like to come in? I could make us some calming tea.”

The redhead sighed; she desperately wanted to, but she thought that spending more time with the older woman just before leaving would make it all the more painful, and she needed to try and get some sleep too.

“I- I really would love to, but...I don’t think that it would be a good idea.”

She said simply, casting her eyes down and wringing her hands nervously. The brunette could hear the sadness in her voice and see her obvious discomfort, and it made her heart clench.

“Come here.”

Zelda looked up at her, eyes shiny with unshed tears she was fighting to hold back, slightly confused.

“What?”

Mary sighed and opened her arms, gesturing for her to come in for a hug. The redhead approached hesitantly, but when the teacher wrapped her arms around her, she melted into her warm embrace. She inhaled her sweet scent, a subtle blend of lavender and lemongrass, and let her eyes flutter shut, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. She whispered in a trembling voice, unable to stop herself from saying.

_ “I will miss you, Mary…” _

The teacher shuddered at how broken the girl sounded, and for a moment she regretted having let herself get so close to her, let a somewhat impressionable teenager grow attached to her. She soothingly stroked her hair as the young woman tried and failed to stifle her whimpers.

“I…”

She almost said it back but stopped herself, and Zelda held her, probably more tightly than necessary, not wanting to let go, but Mary didn’t seem to mind. The redhead understood, and her heart warmed slightly at the knowledge that their friendship was a true one.

She reluctantly pulled away, angrily wiping her tears away and chuckled lightly, blushing in embarrassment at her display of emotion. The brunette gave her a small smile and gently squeezed her upper arm; a gesture she hoped would be comforting.

“This is an incredible opportunity, Zelda, one that you deserve more than anyone else. Work hard, learn as much as you can, but take the time to make friends and have fun too, we both know you can have a hard time doing that.”

The young woman smiled lightly.

“Thank you...for everything…”

Mary smiled warmly and reached out to tuck a stray strand of auburn hair behind her ear.

“Take care of yourself.”

“I will. G-good night, Mary...”

“Good night, Zelda.”

The redhead turned away and made her way home before the teacher could notice the tears that threated to spill again.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, she left for New York with an aching heart, torn between her almost unbearable pain and her excitement at the prospect of studying with one of the greatest professors at on of the best music schools in the world.

The first few weeks were terribly hard; she spent all of her time alone in her room, trying to distract herself with more books, listening to old records and playing her beloved instrument, but that only brought memories of playing with her teacher. She would most often end up in tears and give up.

When classes began, she quickly made great friends however, having finally found “her people”; very talented musicians who all shared her interests and had somewhat also been cast out when they were younger. That had distracted her for the better part of her Bachelors and Masters degrees.

She did her best to remember calling her family at least every other week, and would mosty speak to Hilda, who updated her on how her own studies at Oberlin were going. She had met a double bass player who had quickly fallen head over heels in love with her, and when he had finally asked her out on a date, the blonde had felt excitement like never before. The redhead was extremely happy for her little sister, who hadn’t seemed to be interested in anyone while they lived in Greendale and had never really caught anyone’s eye either, but she felt a twinge of jealousy tug at her heart, wishing she had someone too, someone to love and to share everything with. That only brought her thoughts back to Mary, and every time, she had to fight the tears that threatened to spill.

Hilda would ask her about life in the city, and Zelda would tell her about her friends, how her concerts went, and the places she visited; always avoiding to admit how truly alone and miserable she felt.

During her first seven years in New York, she had gone back home almost once a year, and regardless of how much she enjoyed seeing her family again, the memories of her high school years and her time spent with Mary were too painful. After she completed her Masters thesis, she decided not to return for a while, desperately hoping her feelings would simply disappear, but how likely could that be, when she had been in love with the woman for almost ten years? Hadn’t been able to get her out of her thoughts and her dreams? When no one else interested her, could get her attention? When all she wanted to do was to fly home and tell her she loved her?

When she started her doctoral studies, most of her friends had left the school, some had even left New York, to go out into the world and start their careers. She found herself alone again, and fell into a deep depression. She held on to her music as if it were her only lifeline, the only thing that could almost still make her feel alive, but the feeling of having no true purpose surpassed everything. 

She went through life on auto-pilot for months, while somehow managing to attend and excel in all her classes, playing more and more concerts, even being invited to play with local orchestras. 

At some point during the year, her internal pain became almost unbearable, and she resorted to cutting herself in an attempt to relieve herself through physical pain. It helped, for a while, until she felt so numb that no amount of cuts would be enough to make her feel anything, and it was worse than the pain, than the heavy feeling of loneliness that used to make it difficult to breathe. Every time she considered she had failed at something, no matter how high her grades were, or how much praise she received from even the people who were most hard to please after her performances, she would add a deeper cut, as a reminder of how worthless she was.

She barely ate, barely slept, carefully hid all her scars so her closest friend, Miranda, wouldn’t worry, but the young pianist knew her well enough to realise something was terribly wrong. The redhead could hide the red and pink lines criss-crossing her arms and wrists, but she couldn’t hide how she was growing thinner and thinner at an alarming rate.

It was when she collapsed during a rehearsal that the dark-haired girl couldn’t ignore her state anymore. Some boys had had to carry her to the school infirmary; she was extremely pale, and her breathing had gotten worryingly shallow. 

Miranda had stayed by her side all night, praying that her best friend would be alright. The staff had changed her into something that looked like a hospital gown, and only then did she notice the extent of her weightloss; she looked so tiny, and one could see all of her ribs and her hipbones through the thin material. When the morning light peaked in through the half-closed blinds, the pianist’s eyes drifted to her bare arms and wrists, revealing so many scars that she wouldn’t have been able to count them. She gasped loudly, and saw Zelda’s eyes slowly flutter open.

“Zelds? Zelda...I- I got so worried...Thank God you are awake!”

The redhead was confused for a few moments, unsure of where she was, taking in her surroundings. Her friend’s words had fallen on deaf ears, and what she did first was to look down at herself, taking in the now painfully obvious effects of her self-destructive behaviours. When she looked up and noticed Miranda’s presence, she swiftly attempted to hide her scars by pulling the thin sheet over herself, but knew it was too late.

She started shaking, tears rolling down her pale cheeks, lower lip trembling, and the dark-haired woman tentatively placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. She gave her a weak smile, softly wiping her tears away, and said in what she hoped would be a calm, steady voice, but the tremor in it betrayed her worry.

“I know something is wrong, Zelds...please tell me, so I can help you.”

“I- I…”

She attempted to speak through ragged breaths and choked sobs, but soon gave up, and Miranda rubbed a hand up and down her arm until she calmed down.

“ _ Everything is wrong, Mirands…” _

She whispered, and her friend’s heart broke at how desperate and hopeless she sounded.

“What- whatever do you mean?”

The redhead sighed heavily, willing her heartbeat to steady itself while she gathered her thoughts.

“I can’t live like this, I- it’s too hard, the path we have chosen...I have no future, no life ahead of me that I would want to live, and- and…”

“Shh...it’s okay, I know it’s hard, but...isn’t this what you’ve always wanted? What you have dreamed of ever since you were a little girl?”

“It- it is...or at least it was, but I- I’m not good enough, I-”

“Stop that! You, Zelda Spellman, are the most talented musician I have met here, and we both know pretty much everyone here is extremely talented, so that really says something. You are already successful, your recitals are packed, all the professors go to everyone of your concerts, so don’t you dare say you are not good enough. And I don’t believe that’s the only reason why you have done this to yourself, hurt yourself and let yourself grow so weak to the point of fainting in the middle of rehearsal…”

“I...you’re right, but...could we talk about this later? When I get out of here? It shouldn’t take long, and I want to tell you, I really do, but I- I need some time to think…”

Miranda sighed, but nodded in understanding.

“Alright, talk to me whenever you feel ready. I love you.”

She said before pressing a soft kiss to her forehead and standing to leave the room, but her friend’s voice caught her attention before she could get out the door.

“ _ I love you too, Miranda.” _

The pianist smiled widely, and left; it was the first time she saw her friend so open, so vulnerable, and it warmed her heart.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for self harm and attempted suicide
> 
> If you want to listen to Brahms' cello sonatas:  
> No1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XiYrzsgWto  
> No2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncJ_Gc9RES4

Two days later, the two friends decided to meet at the school cafeteria, choosing a table in a quiet corner where they would be undisturbed.

“You already look much better, Zelds, I’m really happy.”

The redhead let out a halfhearted chuckle.

“Yes, well...eating helps.”

Miranda hummed and a comfortable silence fell over them, both cradling their steaming mugs of coffee.

“Mira, I...you were right. There is something that has been bothering me, more than my...let’s call it a quarter-life crisis…”

They laughed, both being in the same situation in that regard.

“I- I’m in love...I have been for almost ten years, and- and I can’t get her out of my head, and it  _ hurts _ , so much. I- I miss her terribly, and I stopped going back home because being in Greendale makes me think of her even more...it was unbearable the last time I was there…”

The dark-haired woman placed a comforting hand on hers and sighed.

“I...I’m so sorry, I can’t even imagine...but couldn’t you go and see her? Or call her? And tell her? Why haven’t you told her in all these years?”

She asked in a calm voice, hoping her friend would keep talking.

“She- it’s complicated...or maybe it’s not, I’m not sure. She was my history teacher, in high school, and you could say we became friends, I suppose. I’m not even sure she realised how I felt about her, or if she has ever been interested in women, and even if she has...why would she look at someone like me in that way?”

She looked up at her sadly, and Miranda’s heart clenched.

“Who wouldn’t look at you in that way, Zelds? You’re beautiful, smart, kind, extremely talented...I’m sure you’ve never noticed, and probably don’t even care, but almost everyone looks at you in that way, both men and women alike.”

The redhead shook her head, half in modesty, half in denial.

“Well...perhaps, but it’s true. I don’t care.”

The pianist chuckled then got slightly more serious.

“Hmm...and I get that a teacher student-relationship would be seen as wrong, and it probably would be, but you are a grown woman now, Zelda, there is nothing stopping you anymore....”

“Maybe...but what if she doesn’t remember me? What if- what if I made it all up? What if we weren’t ever even friends?”

She sniffled, angrily wiping away the single tear that had escaped her eye.

“That’s just you crippling self-doubt speaking. I’m quite certain none of that is true.”

Zelda laughed half-heartedly.  _ She is probably right. I’m hopeless when it comes to self-confidence… _

“I- I hope you are right.”

“I always am.”

They smiled and then both laughed genuinely.

“Finish your degree, then call her, or go back home and talk to her. It’s the only way you’ll be able to know for sure…and move on if that is what needs to happen.”

“I suppose you are right, again…”

Miranda smiled and squeezed her hand.

“How about some Brahms? Just for fun, no pressure, for once.”

“I’d love that.”

They left and went to their favourite practice room, playing through all of Brahms’ sonatas for cello and piano until the sun went down.

The month that followed went rather well; Zelda ate and already looked, and felt, much healthier, she was more enthusiastic about her work, enjoyed performing again, and finally started taking in all the compliments she received.

Unfortunately, that didn’t last very long. She fell into another bout of depression, feeling utterly numb, empty, but resisted the temptation to start self-harming again. Instead, she accepted Miranda’s help, forced herself to go out everyday for coffee with her and talk, even if she felt more like a burden than anything else. 

She carried on like that for almost five months, and she now only had only two months left until she would get her last diploma. She tried her best to push through, using every ounce of willpower she had left to keep working hard, practicing everyday, researching to finish up her thesis. 

But one day, while going through her things -because she thought that maybe organising her room could help organise her mind- she came across a photograph, one of her and Mary on the day she had graduated from Baxter High. It was the only one she had of them, and she had held on to it like the most precious, valuable thing she owned. She caressed the picture, as if it would bring the older woman closer to her and whispered, tears gathering in her eyes.

“ _ I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts…” _

She cried herself to sleep that night, clutching the photograph against her chest, over her heart, and the three nights after that. Over the next week, she barely got a total of ten hours of sleep. She had pronounced dark circles under her eyes, which were constantly red from crying, and avoided almost everyone except Miranda, who thankfully didn’t comment.

The next week got only worse, she felt like she couldn’t breathe, like a heavy weight was crushing her heart. She was constantly on the verge of tears, couldn’t focus, and it was infuriating. 

One night in the bath, she stared at the razor blade placed on the edge of the tub for an eternity, but ended up giving in and cut four faint lines on each wrist. It felt good, freeing, in a sick, twisted way. Seeing the small drops of blood falling into the cooling water felt like a tiny bit of her pain was leaving her body, but it wasn’t enough.

Over the next couple of weeks, her thoughts took her in increasingly darker places, and all she wanted was to end it all, to finally make the pain stop. She drew herself a bath one morning, stepped into the scalding hot water and breathed deeply. Before she could start overthinking it, she grabbed the razor, and opened up her veins, watching as her blood flowed out of her and mixed with the bathwater, tainting it pink. A single tear rolled down her cheek, her eyes fluttering shut, and everything went dark.

Thankfully, that day Miranda was to come and get her from her room so they could walk together to their history of music class. The pianist walked up to her door and knocked three times, but received no answer. She knocked again, a little louder, but again, got no answer. She waited a few moments, starting to get worried, and decided to try and open the door. She found it unlocked, which was very strange, and made her way inside. She called her friend’s name, but received to response. She walked through every small room until she reached the bathroom, only to witness a horryfying sight; her best friend, unconscious and bleeding out in the tub. She rushed to her side, screaming.

“ZELDA! NO...no, no ,no , _ no _ ... _ what have you done _ ?”

She whispered brokenly and checked for a pulse, and sighed in relief when she felt it, though very faint. She was quick to grab her phone and call an ambulance, which arrived only ten minutes later, the station being so close to the campus.

The medics rushed her to the hospital, treating her wounds and hooking her to an IV on the way there. Miranda stayed with her, and it took almost two whole days before she woke up, her breathing shallow. Zelda opened her eyes but was still too weak to speak. The dark-haired woman looked at her with tears in her eyes, stroking back her soft auburn hair.

_ “Zelda...why?” _

As soon as the words had left her mouth, she regretted them.  _ What a fucking stupid question, Miranda! You know why! _

  
The redhead only blinked, mouthing a small  _ I’m so sorry. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chopin's complete piano works if you want to listen to some:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wB4oj4sS3zA

After Zelda came out of the hospital, Miranda virtually moved in with her, after much protest from her friend who still felt like a burden, but the redhead had quite quickly given in, realising that staying alone for the remainder of her studies wouldn’t be a good idea.

The dark-haired girl slept next to her every night, held her tightly as her body shook from her nightmares and would always be there to soothe her when she woke up. She would wait until she calmed down, stroked her hair until she steadied her breathing, and would ask her if she wanted to tell her about them. Sometimes she did, but most often she didn’t. The recurring one was a dream where Zelda had waited too long before going back to Greendale, and would learn upon arrival that Mary had already died, without knowing how much the younger woman loved her.

The pianist never left her side, accompanied her to all of her classes before going to her own then coming back to pick her up at the end of them. They would have lunch and coffee together everyday, and Miranda would cook for her every evening, making sure she was eating enough. She was happy to notice there were no fresh scars on her arms and wrists, though she always looked sad, lost in thought, and would smile only very rarely, but this was still progress.

They decided to build a program together for their final recital, for Zelda had told her that she wouldn’t have the strength, motivation or energy to perform with an orchestra. It was a roaring success, all of their friends and professors were there to congratulate them, and that night was the first time in months that the dark-haired girl saw a genuine smile on the redhead’s lips. They were invited to perform the same program in many different venues, even getting the opportunity to play at Carnegie Hall, which came as a great surprise to the both of them, more so when the concert was sold-out.

Zelda’s thesis was published in one of the most renowned classical music magazines. She had written about Chopin, the influence of his music on his successors and the genius of his compositions. He was Mary’s favourite composer, and the redhead had cried too many times to keep count while working on it, but she never once regretted it. She dedicated it to  _ “The woman who pushed me to follow my dreams.” _

The young cellist didn’t know this, but the brunette was subscribed to that magazine, and had cried upon reading the footnote, instantly realising her student had dedicated the piece to her. She wanted to call her to congratulate her, to thank her, but ended up not doing so.

Zelda stayed in New York for a couple more years. Miranda had stayed in the city, and they moved in together in a small flat in Greenwich Village. They often played concerts together, and other times with friends they had made at Juilliard. They struggled, had to start giving lessons and writing articles for various magazines in order to earn enough money to keep living in Manhattan. It was tight, but they managed. 

Sometime at the beginning of the second year, the redhead got a call from an agent at Deutsche Grammophon who had attended one of her more recent recitals, proposing she record the entirety of the Bach cello suites for them. She was stunned, almost thought it was a prank, and said she would soon get back to him. A part of her really wanted to do it, and another was screaming that she wouldn’t be up to it; so many great cellists of the twentieth century had set such high expectations from audiences that she thought the pressure would be too much. Miranda would have none of it, however, telling her again and again that her interpretation of those works was more than worthy of recording, so she called him back two days later, enthusiastically accepting the offer.

She had only two months to perfect her mastery of the suites, so she worked day and night to do so, and thankfully, their neighbours were all music lovers, so they didn’t mind. The recording sessions went rather smoothly, except for one of the sound-engineers who would not so subtly flirt with her, but she brushed it off and focused on the music. The disc was released in the fall, and was very well received, by both critics and audiences alike. Her professors sent her letters of congratulations, saying how proud they were to have been her teachers. She played that program in her recitals for most of the year.

After much hesitation, she decided to send a recording to Mary, and signed it with  _ You unknowingly gave me the courage to do this. Thank you.  _ and drew a small treble clef under it along with her initials written in elegant cursive. This was the first time she had contacted the brunette in almost ten years, and her heart was pounding in her chest when she sent in it the mail.  _ I hope she remembers me... _ She had thought, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

The history teacher received the gift a couple of weeks later and smiled upon seeing what it was. She listened to it every night while grading papers, sometimes having to take breaks, tears gathering in her eyes at the purity of the redhead’s sound, and at how deeply emotional it was. She wrote a short letter to her a few days later, thanking her and saying how proud of her she was. Zelda cried upon reading it, for so many reasons she couldn’t even name some of them.

After the success of her recording died down, it was becoming increasingly harder for her to earn a living as a performer, and teaching was not something she had ever wanted to do. She read and wrote as much as she could, but making a living as a researcher in that field was near impossible. She grew restless, not knowing what to do with herself. Miranda started to travel the world to participate in international piano competitions, and she found herself alone once again, only meeting some of her other friends once in a while, which didn’t alleviate her loneliness anyway. 

  
_ I need to go home.  _ She thought one night as the switched off the light and went to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is terribly short but I thought it was a chapter in its own right regardless...

One day, she finally bought a ticket for a flight back home to Greendale. She called her little sister to announce her arrival, and as much as she wanted to just huff and roll her eyes at her outburst of joy, she couldn’t help but smile into the phone. Her parents and siblings picked her up at the airport, and it was an intensely emotional moment, for they hadn’t seen each other in almost five years. She couldn’t believe that she had let so much time pass, only calling them sporadically. 

Coming home almost felt like a rebirth, like she could finally breathe again. She went for long walks in the woods, following both familiar and unfamiliar paths, revelling in the feeling of fresh air filling her lungs and observing all the animals that seemed to trust her, not fleeing upon detecting her presence. One day she walked until she could see Mary’s cottage in the distance, and almost went to surprise her but thought better of it and turned back to make her way home.

A few days went by, mostly spent catching up with her family and playing music with them; it was almost as if she was thrust back into her childhood, as if nothing had changed. Both Hilda and Edward had studied music as well, though in different schools, and had now secured stable jobs as orchestra musicians. The blonde had gotten engaged to Lance Cerberus, the doublebass player she had fallen in love with, and her little sister cried with joy when she told Zelda. Her brother had also gotten engaged, to a soprano named Diana Sawyer whom he had met during a masterclass session in Aspen, and she was already pregnant with their first child. His older sister tried and failed to hold back her tears when he told her she would soon become an aunt.

One night, the redhead was standing at her vanity, moisturizing her arms and legs, lost in thought, until she noticed her sister staring at her through the mirror with a worried look on her face.

“What is it, Hilda? Spit it out.”

She said, more harshly than she probably should have because the blonde flinched at her tone, but she couldn’t bring herself to care at that moment; she was tired, on the brink of an existential crisis.

“You- are you alright? You look... _ sad…” _

Zelda couldn’t stand the pity in her voice, but was at a loss for words, tears gathering in her eyes.  _ She’s right...I am sad.  _ She did her best to compose herself before she turned around to face her.

“Maybe I am…”

She admitted, and could immediately see the shock on her little sister’s face, for she never revealed anything, always kept her emotions to herself, hidden from everyone around her.

“Do you- do you know why?”

“I- I missed you is all...all of you.”

She sighed and walked to Hilda’s bed, sat down next to her and rested her head on her shoulder.

“We missed you too...but you- you miss  _ her, _ don’t you?”

The redhead sat back abruptly, doing her best to pretend she was utterly confused.

“Whoever do you mean?”

“Zelds...I know.”

She simply said, and the older sister’s heart sank, her breath catching in her throat. Hilda soothingly drew circles on her back but she almost instantly moved further away.

“I- I…”

“Shh...it’s okay…”

“But- but...who else know?”

She asked, slightly panicking.

“Just me, that I know of. You’re my sister, Zelds, I noticed, back when we still were in highschool, and I also guessed that was the main reason why you stopped coming back...I didn’t bring it up because I knew it would make you uncomfortable.”

“A- thank you, sister.”

She said and scooted back to wrap her in a tight hug. When they parted, Hilda suggested.

“You should go and see her. I’m certain she would be happy to see her favourite student again.”

“Perhaps you are right…I-  _ I miss her, Hildie... _ ”

“ _ I know. _ ..Now come on. You haven’t been sleeping, let’s go to bed.”

The redhead nodded and stood up to go to her own bed. For the first time in she didn’t even know how long, she slept through the night, like the dead.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bach complete cello suites by Rostropovich:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83wY_IegKqU

The next day, she woke up before everyone and made her way downstairs. She grabbed her pack of cigarettes and went out to pick up the newspaper. She settled down in her favourite porch chair, smoking lazily while enjoying the cool morning air. It was the beginning of may, so the days were getting progressively warmer, but she much preferred the weather during this time of the day, slightly colder, somewhat invigorating.

She spent the day reading scores some young composers had sent her, hoping that performing new, contemporary works would be a way to perhaps restart her carreer. 

Most of the day went by rather quickly; her siblings had gone out without her noticing, and her parents were practicing in the living room for their upcoming recital. 

Towards the middle of the afternoon, she finally decided she should probably take a shower and get dressed. She got increasingly nervous, pondering whether she should go and surprise Mary at the end of the school day or at her cottage, or if she perhaps should call her beforehand.  _ Does she even work anymore? I don’t even know how old she is... Would she- would she even want to see me?  _ She wondered, her heart beating slightly faster. She soon shook those thoughts away and got out of the bathroom. 

She picked a simple, yet flattering and beautiful, navy blue, long-sleeved dress with lace details on the skirt. She knew wearing anything with long sleeves this time of year might look strange, but she didn’t want anyone to notice the innumerable scars on her arms and wrists; no one knew except Miranda. 

She sat at her vanity, choosing to put on slightly lighter makeup than she normally would, though without foregoing her signature red lipstick. She smiled at herself in the mirror, in a somewhat vain attempt to give herself some courage.  _ It’s been ten years, what if she has forgotten about me?  _ Then she thought of the short letter the brunette had sent her less than a year ago and tried to shake away the thought.  _ But what if she remembers me as just another student... _

She sighed and went downstairs to make herself a strong cup of coffee before going out. She sat at the kitchen table, enjoying the hot beverage along with a cigarette, thinking about what she would say to her.  _ Yes hello, I know it’s been ten years, but I came back to tell you I have loved you since I was sixteen years old and that I was never able to love anybody else after I left. _ She snorted and stood up, deciding she would let herself be somewhat spontaneous, for once.

It was just before five o’clock, so she drove to Baxter High, trying to ignore the butterflies fluttering around her stomach while she hummed along to the tunes playing on the radio. When she arrived, she took a deep breath and got out of her car before walking up to the familiar building.

The halls were bustling with teenagers eager to go home after a full day of classes, and she felt terribly out of place. She went to where Mary’s office used to be, without bothering to ask the secretary first, and was glad to find the old plaque still in place on the door. She knocked softly, her palms slightly sweaty.

“Come in!”

She opened the door and had to remind herself to breathe. There she was, the  _ love of her life,  _ almost unchanged except for the stray grey hairs and her soft expression wrinkles that had grown slightly more pronounced, but all the redhead could think was that she was more beautiful than ever. She also wore different glasses that allowed one to see her impossibly gorgeous blue eyes more clearly. Zelda realised she must have been staring and shook herself out of her thoughts, slowly walking further into the office.

“Zelda! What a wonderful surprise!”

Her beautiful, soft voice she had never forgotten vibrated through her like a soothing balm.

“You- you remember me?”

She asked, and suddenly felt like the shy teenager she had been all those years ago.

“Of course I do! How could I forget my favourtie pupil? My chamber music partner? We missed you here. And I am so proud of you, dear. I have been listening to your recording almost everynight. It- it often brings tears to my eyes...”

She admitted softly and smiled at her. 

“I- I am glad you liked it. I hope they are...happy tears…”

“I suppose so...Your sound has developed so much, it’s so...pure, and moving.”

Zelda fought to hold back the single tear that threatened to fall, and was glad that she was able to do so. She smiled quite shyly, feeling a little awkward, not sure what she should say next.

“I wasn’t sure you were still working…”

The brunette chuckled.

“Oh...well, I still have a few more years left, dear.” 

She stood up and rounded her desk, slowly approaching the younger woman, and Zelda gulped. She knew she must have been white as a sheet, realising she had forgotten to eat all day. The teacher rubbed a hand up and down her arm.

“How are you?”

_ I don’t know.  _ Was what she wanted to say.

“I- I’m fine.”

But her body betrayed her and her lower lip started trembling of its own accord, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. Mary wrapped her arms around her and held her until she calmed down.

_ “I missed you…” _

The younger woman whispered weakly, and the brunette’s heart clenched, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it back.

“Would you like to come over for some tea?”

She only nodded and the older woman pulled away to go gather her things. Zelda followed her with her car until the familiar cottage came into view. They went inside and discarded their things by the door, and Mary went to the kitchen while the redhead went to sit on the couch. 

“Here you go.”

She placed the teatray on the coffee table before sitting down next to her. The younger woman reached out to pick up her cup, and her sleeve hiked up her arm. She hadn’t noticed and the teacher stared at the wrist, alarmed.

“Zelda, what…”

She started quietly, the shock and worry in her voice very obvious, and the other woman swiftly sat back, pulling her sleeve down before turning to look at her, only she realised she couldn’t hold her gaze.

“I- I...it’s nothing- it’s…”

“Hey...it’s fine, you- you don’t need to tell me.”

She soothed, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.  _ But I want to tell you.  _ There was a short silence while Zelda tried to organise her thoughts, willing herself to speak.

“It’s too hard, Mary....”

“What is?”

“Life. I- I mean...living as a musician, it’s  _ so much harder  _ than I had expected and- and...I felt so  _ alone _ . I couldn’t take it anymore…”

_ And I didn’t want to live without you. _ She thought and then mentally slapped herself for even thinking that.

“I can’t stand the idea of you hurting yourself, but I- I understand. You know...I once dreamed of becoming a concert pianist...of travelling the world, playing for anyone who would listen...You remind me quite a lot of myself…”

Mary mused and took a sip of her tea. The redhead patiently waited for her to add something.

“I think we are not so different, you and I, Zelda...I-”

Her expression grew increasingly serious, as if she were pondering whether or not she should continue. She wasn’t sure why she would even consider revealing these things to a young woman who used to be her student, but Zelda was her friend, someone she trusted, with whom she felt quite a special connection. Maybe this would make the redhead feel less alone, maybe make them both feel less alone.

“When I realised that wouldn’t happen, I was heartbroken. Music was all I had in my life up until that point. I was already not in a....great place, and I tried to- I tried…”

She fought hard not to but she broke down, and the redhead took her in her arms, tightly held onto her slight, shaking form. They cried in each other’s arms for what felt like an eternity, emotions neither of them had ever let out being finally set free. 

“ _ I’m sorry.” _

Zelda whispered, sniffling and wiping her own tears away.

“No, I’m sorry, I-”

They looked at each other and realised how silly it was to apologise, so they smiled, chuckling weakly. A surprisingly comfortable silence fell over them, both sipping on their now cooling tea, but they didn’t care. The redhead hesitantly pulled her pack of cigarettes out of her small purse.

“May I?”

“Yes, dear, but only you may smoke in this house…”

The younger woman blushed slightly, then brought a cigarette to her lips, lightning it with a match.

“...and only if you give me one…”

Zelda’s green eyes widened in genuine shock.

“Miss Wardwell!”

The brunette smirked in quite an uncharacteristic way, a mischievous glint in her eye the redhead had never seen before.

“I thought you would know better than to judge a book by its cover, Miss Spellman…”

She said as she pulled a cigarette out of the pack Zelda was now holding out to her, and the younger woman lit it for her. It felt oddly....intimate.

They smoked and talked for hours, as if no time had passed. At some point Mary glanced at her watch and gasped.

“Oh my! It’s already eleven o’clock. I...do you want to eat something?”

“Oh no, thank you. I should probably head home anyway…”

“Alright. How long are you staying in Greendale for?”

“I don’t know...but I haven’t booked a return flight, and it’s not like I truly have a life in New York right now, so I suppose I will be staying for the foreseeable future…”

Mary smiled widely.

“Great! Then I won’t have to wait ten years to see you again...”

She blurted out and instantly regretted how it sounded, but she blamed it on the bottle of red wine they had shared to make herself feel better. 

“You certainly won’t. Good night, Mary.”

Zelda said as she leaned in for a last hug.

_ “Good night, Zelda.” _

  
That night, the redhead got her second full night’s sleep in years, and the next morning she thought.  _ Maybe I should never have left… _


	7. Chapter 7

A week went by and Zelda was in town, shopping for clothes and some other things she needed. Once she had found everything, she decided to go by the bookshop she went to every week with Edward when they were younger.

When she arrived, she noticed a familiar head of dark hair from behind, the woman looking at the books through the window. Her hair was down and all the young woman wanted to do was to run her fingers through it, to see if it was as soft as it looked.

“Mary?”

The brunette turned around fast, startled.

“Oh! Zelda, hi! Come to find some new books to add to your collection?”

“I- yes. Always.”

They smiled, and a slightly awkward silence fell over them. Then Zelda got an idea and couldn’t help but ask.

“Mary, I- would you like to go see a movie sometime? And...maybe have dinner?”

She blushed slightly and internally scolded herself.  _ Shit. That sounds like a fucking date. _

“Zelda, that...I don’t think that would be appropriate. People would talk…”

_ What’s wrong with me? Of course, they would! And I don’t even know if she’s interested in women, much less one like me. _

“I understand...I- I’m sorry I asked.”

“Don’t be. It’s not that I wouldn’t want to...it’s just…”

_ So she would want to? Good to know.  _ The redhead let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“It’s okay, I understand.”

Mary nodded and they awkwardly waved each other goodbye before going their separate ways; neither wanting to go inside the store anymore.

In the evening, Zelda was at home alone, reading, but went over the same page, again and again, unable to focus. Her encounter with the brunette earlier played in her mind on repeat, and she felt utterly stupid.

She was startled out of her thoughts when the doorbell rang and she wondered who it could be. She made her way downstairs and opened the door, surprised to see Mary standing there, and the redhead was at a loss for words, staring at her with a confused look on her face. The brunette looked nervous, her face pink and her eyes red as if she had been crying.

“Zelda, I- I’ve had a change of heart…”

She said breathlessly before lunging forward, gripping Zelda’s upper arms with almost bruising force and kissed her, hard, desperately. Surprised couldn’t even begin to describe what the younger woman felt at that moment; shocked or stunned would have been more accurate. She had imagined kissing her many times,  _ oh so many times,  _ but she had never expected it to be like this. She had expected it to be gentle, hesitant, but this felt like they silently understood each other.

The teacher let her hands fall down to her hips and the redhead wrapped her arms around her neck, before tangling her fingers in her lustrous hair. She sighed against her mouth, then tentatively licked the older woman’s lower lip, who immediately granted her access, their tongues engaging in a slow dance. The brunette moaned into her mouth and the cellist almost felt as if she had been electrified. 

When they parted, breathless, their eyes closed, the redhead pressed her forehead against hers and cupped her face. Mary held onto her wrists, as if her hands might leave her, and the younger woman whispered, her breath tickling the brunette’s lips.

_ “I love you…” _

The teacher shivered at the words and pulled back, softly wiping away the tears Zelda wasn’t aware had rolled down her cheeks. Mary gazed into her sea-green eyes, smiling at her lovingly.

_ “I know…” _

She didn’t say it back, but it was as if her piercing blue eyes told Zelda everything she needed to know, and that was enough. 

They locked their bodies in a tight hug, and it felt like time had stopped. When they parted after God knew how long, Mary suggested, almost shyly.

“Zelda...let’s go see a movie, go to dinner, anything you want...I want to spend more time with you.”

The redhead smiled widely and pressed a tender kiss to her lips.

“There is nothing I would love more. I- tomorrow night?”

The older woman nodded, a sudden blush creeping up on her face.

“There- there is a showing of Carol...would you- is that okay?”

Zelda gulped. She had seen the movie in New York when it had first come out, but seeing it again with the woman she loved made her simultaneously feel both slightly uncomfortable and very excited.

“Yes. That’s perfect.”

_ Zelda, what the fuck?  _ She mentally slapped herself, overthinking all of the ways her words might be interpreted, but Mary simply smiled at her. The brunette leaned in to kiss her cheek before whispering in her ear.

_ “I will see you tomorrow.” _

The younger woman felt a shiver run down her spine and sighed, smiling as she watched the teacher walk to her car and drive away.

  
That night, Zelda couldn’t fall asleep, for she was buzzing with excitement. She could hardly believe what had happened, had to convince herself it hadn’t been just a dream. She tossed and turned, playing the moment back in her head, again and again, unable to stop smiling.  _ You’re not a teenager anymore. Calm down.  _ But the truth was, being with Mary made her feel as if she had been catapulted back in time, as if nothing had changed -well, apart from the fact she had grown into a mature woman who had suffered tremendously for years. She finally fell asleep at around two in the morning, only dreaming of a certain brunette…


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bach suites: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83wY_IegKqU  
> Chopin cello sonata: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQTRISNLEqc

The next day, Zelda woke up at eleven; she couldn’t even remember the last time she had slept in like that. She stretched her back and limbs, yawning, a smile playing on her lips like someone who was drunk on love; which she certainly was. 

She got up and took a cold shower to fully wake herself up. She put her hair up in a loose bun and opted to wear comfortable clothes, deciding that she would change later in the day. She made her way downstairs, made herself a cup of espresso and grabbed her pack of cigarettes before making her way out to pick up the newspaper and settling down in her porch chair, which had become her daily routine.

The day went by dreadfully slowly, for she was buzzing with excitement at the prospect of spending the evening with Mary. She took out her cello, which she had taken home with her, of course, and played through the Bach suites and Chopin’s cello sonata, which was a little strange but interesting to play without the piano part. She imagined she was playing for the brunette, closed her eyes without realising she kept smiling the whole time. She then read through and played the contemporary pieces she had been sent by young up-and-coming composers. She found them much more interesting and well-written than she had expected. 

When she glanced at the grandfather clock that hung on the living-room wall, she realised it was already two o’clock, so she got up and made her way into the kitchen to make herself a quick lunch. Her siblings had left for a summer camp to perfect their craft, and her parents had gone on their concert tour all around New England. She found that she actually enjoyed her quiet time alone.

She spent the rest of the afternoon reading and sending emails to her friends to catch up. She had heard Miranda had won the first prize at the International Chopin Competition in Warsaw, which meant that she quickly signed a contract with a renowned record label and was thrust onto the international stage. She wrote to congratulate her, saying that she hoped they could see each other soon and that she missed her. She smiled to herself and took a sip of her espresso, along with a deep drag of her cigarette. She was extremely grateful for everything her best friend had done for her, wasn’t even sure she would still be around if it wasn’t for her, and a single tear escaped her eye which she swiftly wiped away.

Before she knew it, it was four o’clock, which meant Mary would soon get off work. She went up to her room and changed into an elegantly cut burgundy pantsuit that flattered her curves, and picked a white blouse she tucked into the trousers. She chose to wear a slightly more elaborate makeup look; her signature blood-red lipstick and a perfectly executed smokey eye along with mascara. Her porcelain skin was so flawless she never needed to use foundation, and she chose to forgo blush, certain her pale cheeks would turn pink more than once during the evening. She smiled at herself in the mirror, quite satisfied with her appearance. She got up from her vanity and slipped into her gorgeous black stilettos Miranda had gifted her for the success of her disc.

She made her way downstairs and picked up her favourite purse, slipping her phone, wallet and cigarettes inside it before going out to her car. She met Mary in front of Baxter High and walked up to her. When they came face to face, she was very surprised by the older woman who pressed a sweet kiss to her lips. Pulling back, Zelda stared at her, her brow furrowed in confusion, and the brunette chuckled.

“It’s fine. I don’t care if people see us. Let them say whatever they want.”

“O- okay.”

She said before kissing her again. 

“You look beautiful, Zelda.”

The redhead blushed before she said in a teasing tone.

“You’re not so bad yourself, Miss Wardwell.”

She looked her up and down not so subtly, taking in the unusually tight black pencil skirt she wore with a wine coloured silk blouse tucked into it; the ensemble accentuating her trim waist and the slight curve of her hips. Her eyes roved along her slim, toned legs covered by sheer black tights, and she was wearing low heels that further flattered her silhouette. The redhead couldn’t stop her eyes from staying on her freckled chest for a split second, for the older woman had let a few buttons open, which allowed one to catch a teasing glimpse of her cleavage. Mary smirked at the attention, and when Zelda met her gaze, she felt as if her piercing ice-blue eyes were staring straight into her soul, seeing right through her.

“Like what you see?”

The brunette asked in a teasing tone, an eyebrow raised, and the younger woman blushed furiously before stuttering, embarrassed.

“I- I…”

“It’s okay, Zelda, you’re allowed to look. In fact... _I want you to…”_

She added in a low voice before she went to her car to leave her satchel, picking up her purse instead, and Zelda stood frozen in her spot, taking a few deep, calming breaths. Mary joined her and they linked arms, smiling at each other before walking to the movie theatre.

When they arrived, the younger woman untangled their arms, took the brunette’s hand in hers instead and they made their way inside. They looked at each other, silently agreeing that they were somewhat thankful that the place was almost empty. Before the teacher could protest, Zelda walked up to the counter and paid for their tickets. When she turned around, Mary gave her a bright smile.

“You are such a gentlewoman, Zelda.”

The redhead blushed slightly and led them into the auditorium the cashier had pointed to. They comfortably sat down next to each other in the centre of the room. When the intro started, the soft piano and strings music reaching their ears, the younger woman leaned closer to her and whispered.

_“The soundtrack is so perfect, beautiful, so very fitting.”_

Mary turned to look at her, a small smirk playing on her pink lips, an eyebrow raised.

“So you’ve already seen it?”

“I- yes…”

The brunette chuckled, for the younger woman sounded shy, maybe even slightly embarrassed.

“Hmm...so did I…”

There were only about five other people in the theatre, so it was fine for them to talk a little, quietly. Zelda smiled lightly and they focused their attention back to the screen. Once in a while, they would pass each other the bottle of sparkling water they were sharing, and all the cellist could think about was how the older woman’s lips had touched the rim of it only seconds before. While they were watching the scenes between Therese and Richard, Mary said between half-suppressed snickers.

“She’s so obviously attracted to women it’s almost painful to watch her being in denial. She clearly doesn’t like him.”

Zelda smiled and let out a small laugh in agreement. When the brunette in the movie met Carol at the department store, the older woman said, mostly to herself, seemingly unaware she had spoken her thoughts out loud.

“Cate Blanchett is so beautiful…”

The younger woman turned to stare at her and Mary looked into her eyes when she felt her gaze boring through her.

“But not as beautiful as you, my darling.”

She said, taking the redhead’s hand and bringing it to her lips, kissing the back of it before lacing their fingers together and resting their entwined hands on the armrest between them. They watched the movie in silence for a while, occasionally throwing each other curious glances. When the Waterloo scene came up and Carol untied her robe, Mary leaned in and softly kissed Zelda’s cheek, nipped at her earlobe so briefly the redhead wasn’t sure it even happened, before whispering in her ear.

_“Do you have any idea how much I want to do that for you, my dear Zelda?”_

The redhead shivered at her words and let her eyes flutter shut, taking a deep breath. She whispered back, though her shaky voice betrayed how flustered she was.

_“You- how forward of you, Miss Wardwell…”_

The brunette only hummed, smirking with pride when she noticed how affected the younger woman was by her words. She sat back, and Zelda immediately missed her proximity, the feeling of her hot breath against her skin which made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. When Therese asked the older woman to take her to bed, the redhead thought she would tease the teacher in return.

_“Maybe I will ask you to do that...soon....hopefully.”_

For a split-second, she worried she might have gone too far with her last two words, but she smirked when she heard the teacher let out a shaky breath. She was also surprised by her own boldness; she had never slept with anyone -because if she were honest with herself, she couldn’t imagine doing it with anybody else-, and she assumed the older woman must have, but she felt a newfound sense of self-confidence and spontaneity in her presence.

When the sex scene came up, Zelda held her hand more tightly, as if to ground herself, her heart rate increasing, and she sighed in relief when Mary squeezed it in return. They watched the rest of the movie in silence, smiling at the final scene. They waited until the credits ended, enjoying the last of the soundtrack before standing up and getting out of the theatre.

As they stepped outside, the slight chill of the evening air making Zelda shiver, Mary wrapped an arm around her and the redhead smiled gratefully.

“I know you’ve already seen the movie, dear, but what did you think?”

The redhead sighed heavily, willing herself to answer as truthfully as possible.

“I- I must admit that seeing it with you was something else…”

She blushed lightly and the older woman smiled.

“And I love to see a movie about a same-sex relationship that doesn’t end in heartbreak or suicide. I must also admit that...they’re both really beautiful, and their on-screen chemistry is quite unique.”

“I agree...on all three points.”

They walked down the main street for a while until Mary couldn’t help but ask.

“So...where are you taking me?”

“Hmm? Oh...I made a reservation at the new french restaurant right around the next corner. I heard it was excellent, so I thought we could try it…”

“Sounds perfect...and quite romantic.”

“I thought so too…”

They smiled and when they got to a dark alleyway before reaching the restaurant, Mary took Zelda’s hand and led her in there. She pushed her against the brick wall and the younger woman gasped in surprise, her eyes widening.

“Mary, what- mmmh…”

The brunette interrupted her with a passionate kiss, and the younger woman moaned into her mouth, butterflies fluttering in the pit of her stomach. The teacher stood between her legs, pressing her body flush against hers, kissing down the column of her elegant neck. Zelda groaned and involuntarily bucked her hips against her, heat rising in her lower abdomen.

_“Mary...I- if you don’t stop, I’ll...I can’t…”_

She said breathily, and the older woman pulled back reluctantly, but understood.

“Mmh- sorry...I’ve wanted to do that all night…”

She certainly didn’t sound sorry though. The cellist smirked and pecked her lips before reaching down for her hand, lacing their fingers together.

“Come on. We’re going to be late, and I’m starving.”

_“Hmm...me too…”_

She mused, mostly to herself, but didn’t care if the younger woman heard her, getting lost in her thoughts.

They walked the short distance to the restaurant, hand in hand, and made their way inside. They were greeted by a waiter with a charming accent, who looked like he was in his mid-fifties, and were led to their table in a quiet corner. It was covered by a crisp white cloth, a candle with a softly flickering flame which was surrounded by red rose petals standing in the middle of it. Mary’s heart warmed at the sight, certain the younger woman had asked for the small details, and it was perfect. She pulled a chair back, motioning for the redhead to sit.

“Thank you. I guess I am not the only gentlewoman here…”

The brunette smiled and went to take her seat opposite her. They ordered a bottle of Sauvignon blanc to have with their starters; frogs’ legs for Zelda and oysters for Mary. The waiter, whose name they learned was Jacques -and he insisted they call him by his first name- placed their dishes on the table, and they thanked him with a smile. They cheered and gazed at each other, eyes twinkling over the rim of their glasses. They started eating in relative silence, the redhead blushing each time the older woman looked up at her with a curious look in her eye.

“Zelda dear, would you like to try one?”

The younger woman couldn’t hide the slight look of disgust on her face and Mary chuckled.

“Oh, come on! You are eating _frogs’ legs_ for God’s sake!”

This almost felt like a challenge, and Zelda Spellman was never one to refuse a challenge.

“Fine. Give me one.”

She huffed, reaching out for the other woman’s plate, but she playfully swatted her hand away.

“A-ah.”

She took an oyster in her hand and reached over the table, placing a finger under the cellist’s chin, and looked at her expectantly.

“Open up.”

The redhead obeyed and placed her lips over the side of the shell, looking up at her through fluttering eyelashes.

“Good girl. Now swallow.”

Zelda felt as if her heart had stopped beating, blushing furiously, but she did as she was told. Mary smiled and softly caressed her cheek before sitting back down, and the younger woman almost choked on her food.

“Are you okay?”

She nodded sharply, catching her breath, a hand placed in front of her mouth.

“Good?”

“I- actually...yes.”

The brunette smiled proudly and they finished their dishes, a strange, but not unpleasant tension lingering between them.

For the main course, Zelda ordered an entrecôte and Mary, coq au vin. They chose a bottle of Bordeaux to go with it. They ate in relative silence, and the redhead was lost in thought, but then couldn’t stop herself from asking something that had been bothering her. She reached out and took the older woman’s hand, placing hers on top of it, which caught her attention. The cellist had a worried look in her eyes, filled with hesitation.

“Zelda...I- is something wrong?”

She sighed, looking down at their entwined hands before meeting her gaze again.

“No, I mean...not really. Mary, you...I feel I must ask you this. I- I had heard you had a fiancé, and-”

“He died.”

The brunette blurted out, and the younger woman’s eyes widened in shock.

“What? I’m so sorry, I- I…”

She started rambling, feeling guilty for having brought this up, and the brunette drew soothing circles on the back of her hand with the pad of her thumb.

“Shh...don’t be. It’s okay, I’m okay. He- he died oversees...fifteen years ago.”

She gave her a warm smile, which slightly reassured the younger woman. They finished their meals, then shared a Tarte Tatin for dessert. The teacher had to convince the other, quite stubborn, woman to let her pay the bill, and they left the restaurant, arm in arm. After they had walked for a while, the redhead’s quiet voice pulled her out of her reverie.

_“Thank you.”_

Zelda said in an almost whisper, and Mary turned to look at her, slightly confused.

“Whatever for?”

“I...this is the best night I have ever had…”

She explained, and the brunette had a hard time discerning whether she sounded happy or sad, but she felt like she understood her anyway.

“Me too.”

She admitted sincerely. They walked until they reached the older woman’s car, and the redhead turned to face her. She cupped her face between her soft hands and kissed her tenderly, though there was an edge of desperation to it that made the teacher’s heart clench. When they parted, Mary stared into her gorgeous green eyes, and couldn’t stop herself from telling her. She _needed_ to tell her. 

_“I love you too, Zelda.”_

The younger woman’s lower lip started trembling of it’s own accord, and she choked on a sob. She felt utterly ridiculous. _You’re overreacting._ She told herself, but couldn’t stop the tears that escaped her eyes. There were so many reasons for her tears she couldn’t explain them all, but it was mostly that she couldn’t even believe her.

_“Please say it again.”_

_“I love you…”_

The redhead choked on another sob and the brunette wrapped her arms around her as she shook slightly. Zelda whispered in her ear, doing her best to steady her breathing.

_“I love you. I love you so much...I- I have loved you for so long, and I- and I never thought-”_

_“Shh...it’s okay...I know.”_

For some reason, the musician wasn’t surprised, but she wasn’t sure how she felt about that information. She chose not to question it; they would have plenty more time to talk about this. Once she had finally calmed down, she reluctantly pulled away, angrily rubbing at her nose. Mary gently reached up to stop the frantic movement, and wiped all of her tears away. She placed soft kisses all over her face, and Zelda let her eyes flutter shut; it felt like a blessing, a dream. The brunette kissed her forehead last, then said, catching the younger woman slightly off-guard.

“You are so much stronger than you think, Zelda Spellman.”

She said with so much conviction more tears gathered in the cellist’s eyes. She managed to hold her gaze, and the older woman was looking at her almost expectantly, so she mustered a small smile and softly nodded her head. She lunged forward and hugged Mary again, clinging on to her as if she were her only lifeline, and the brunette squeezed her tightly. She stroked her auburn hair, whispered soothing words in her ear until the redhead finally let go of her after God knew how long.

“It’s getting late, and quite cold...Do you want me to drive you home?”

“I- I need to get the car back...My siblings and parents aren’t home…”

She sounded sad, and the prospect of finding herself alone in that big house suddenly wasn’t so enticing anymore. Mary could sense this, so she insisted.

“Zelda...I don’t want to leave you alone like this...and- and I don’t want to be alone either…”

Zelda smiled weakly, but her eyes filled with hope and she suddenly felt emboldened.

“Okay, but...please take with home with you....”

“What?”

“Please...I- I want to stay with you tonight.”

The brunette smiled then nodded. She took the younger woman’s hand and led her around the car before opening the passenger side door for her, then got in the driver’s seat. They listened to the radio on the way to the cottage, and the redhead put on WXQR. She recognized the pianist's sound immediately, the interpretation of Chopin’s barcarolle so very familiar, and she exclaimed.

“That’s- that’s Miranda!”

Mary turned to look at her quizzically.

“Oh...she’s my best friend. We met at Juilliard. She- _she saved my life…”_

The older woman smiled sadly and reached over to take her hand, squeezing it comfortingly. _I don’t know what I would’ve done if she hadn’t..._ The teacher wondered, and almost said it out loud, but then thought better of it. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she kept her eyes focused on the road, glad the other woman didn’t seem to have noticed it.

They stayed silent for the remainder of the drive, enjoying each other’s presence and the wonderful music reaching their ears. When they arrived, they went straight inside, discarding their purses on the small table by the door.

“Would you like a drink?”

“I- I’m more tired than I should be…”

“Alright. I have a small guest room but it’s quite-”

Zelda went to stand closer to her, and interrupted her, asking pleadingly.

“I- can I sleep with you? Please?”

Mary smirked and the redhead swatted her arm playfully.

“Mary! You know I didn’t mean it like that! Not that I...I want to do that too...at some point, but I- I just want you to hold me until I fall asleep... _please.”_

The brunette melted at how hesitant and shy she sounded. She lovingly kissed her cheek and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Of course. Come with me.”

She led her to the bedroom, lending her a soft nightgown and Zelda smiled gratefully, but stood still as if she didn’t know what to do with herself. 

“I- you can change while I’m in the bathroom if you prefer.”

“I- no. No, it’s okay.”

Mary smiled and they both changed on opposite sides of the bed, their back to each other, giving each other some sense of modesty, for some reason. As soon as the redhead put on the nightgown, she slipped under the covers as if to hide her body. The older woman joined her, instantly pulling her into her arms, and she felt the musician sigh in relief. Zelda let her eyes flutter shut and soon drifted off into a blissfully dreamless sleep. The teacher pressed a soft kiss on the top of her head, absently tracing the faint scars on the younger woman’s arms and whispered.

“ _I love you. I will take care of you until the day I die.”_


	9. Chapter 9

In the morning, Mary had woken up well before Zelda, losing herself in her thoughts and worries. _I will most likely die before her...what will happen to her then?_ She sighed, absently playing with the younger woman’s auburn hair. The redhead had shifted during the night so she was nuzzling her neck, an arm and a leg thrown over her, virtually laying half on top of her, as if she were afraid she might disappear from her grasp, but the weight comforted the brunette, grounded her. 

She was drawn back to reality when she felt the cellist stir and groan lightly. She looked down at her lovingly and smiled when Zelda moved to face her, green eyes fluttering open to meet ice-blue ones. The redhead yawned and smiled tiredly, then said in a raspy voice.

“Good morning…”

Mary leaned down to kiss her forehead, but just before she touched her, the younger woman moved up to meet her lips instead, making the teacher chuckle against her mouth.

“Well, good morning to you too…”

The musician hummed and laid back down, her fingers accidentally brushing over the brunette’s right nipple, which made her gasp quietly. Zelda buried her face in the crook of her neck, definitely not intending to get up anytime soon.

“Do you want me to go down and make breakfast, darling?”

“Hmm? Oh...yes, but not yet. You smell so good...I never forgot, you know...and I wish I could just stay like this forever…”

She said then sighed contentedly. _If only you knew how I wish you could too._ She mused sadly, but quickly shook the thought away, deciding to appreciate the present moment instead.

“Well...you’re lucky it’s Saturday.”

The redhead snorted lightly.

“As if you wouldn’t stay in bed just for me…”

Mary chuckled and softly kissed her temple.

“I guess I can’t deny that.”

They stayed that way, tangled together, basking in the other’s scent and warmth, until Zelda asked hesitantly, worried it was much too soon to bring this up, but she felt so insecure she simply needed to.

“Mary?”

The teacher hummed, eyes closed, absently stroking the younger woman’s hair.

“What are we? I- _girlfriends?_ ”

Her eyes snapped open instantly, the redhead sounded almost exactly like the shy, introverted teenager she once was, and maybe those things didn’t change much after all. The brunette chuckled nervously.

“I suppose you could say that, but…I’m old, darling, so it might sound a little strange. We can be whatever you want us to be.”

“Please don’t say that.”

“Say what?”

“That- that you’re old, I- I hate what that implies…”

The older woman sighed as she felt a tear wet the soft skin of her neck. _How foolish of me...of course, she worries about that too..._

“I know...I’m sorry…”

That’s when they silently agreed not to bring up Mary’s age again.

“Don’t be. And I don’t care what we are, or what we want to label ourselves, as long as I get to be with you…”

“I’m not going anywhere. You can have me for as long as you want.”

_Forever._ Zelda silently wished. She traced mindless patterns on the brunette’s freckled chest, seemingly hypnotized by its rise and fall as she breathed. 

“Mary...how did you know?”

Their eyes met, the teacher raising an eyebrow questioningly.

“Last night...you said you knew I have loved you for a long time. How did you know?”

“Oh...on instinct, I suppose? But I think you were more obvious than you realised, back then...staring at me in class, letting your eyes rove over my body when you thought I wouldn’t notice, coming to my office to ask questions I knew you already had the answers to, not to mention how you virtually turned into a tomato every time I smiled at you or complimented you on something…”

The redhead blushed, avoiding her gaze by burying her face in the older woman’s chest as she muffled a quiet

“I’m sorry.”

“For what, darling? I admit it was quite flattering...even if it made me a little uncomfortable at times. And when did you know? That...that you loved me.”

“Oh...I- I think the first time you smiled at me in that special way I felt was only for me, but...I wasn’t sure what I was actually feeling, because I had never felt that way before. All I knew was that I couldn’t stop thinking about you, wanted to spend more time with you, and I felt safe around you, like you were the only person who truly understood me. I even dreamt about you and hated waking up every time because I wished I could stay in that world. Feeling that way could be infuriating sometimes, frustrating, because I knew that- that we could never...that it would be wrong…”

Mary hummed, a small smile playing on her lips until she thought of how she had felt when Zelda had come to say goodbye to her before she left. She tried to gather her thoughts while Zelda patiently waited for her to say something.

”You know, I- when you left...I wondered if I had inadvertently done the wrong thing by- by getting closer to you, letting you grow attached to me...If I had known how much you would suffer, I wouldn’t-”

“Stop that. I suffered, yes, but I regret nothing, because the universe somehow led us here, so all of the pain was worth it.”

She said with great finality, and the brunette’s heart clenched, a single tear rolling down her cheek. She didn’t know everything, would wait for the younger woman to tell her when and if she might want to, but she couldn’t help but feel guilty. Before she could stop herself, she admitted.

“I followed everything you did, you know...as much as I could. I watched every one of your concerts that would be shown on television, listened whenever your performances would be broadcast on the radio, read every article you appeared in, and I- I was _so proud_ of you, Zelda, of the beautiful, talented young woman you had become…”

Zelda shifted to look her in the eye again, looking more surprised than she probably should have been.

“You- you did? But...why?”

The teacher chuckled and it confused the redhead further.

“You silly girl, because I missed you. _I missed you so very much.”_

She admitted in an almost whisper. A wave of regret washed over the cellist, and she let out a small, sad laugh.

“So we both suffered and missed each other for almost ten years without knowing the other felt the same…”

She summarized, mostly to herself.

“Why did you never call, Mary?”

“I- well, I thought you might have forgotten about me, and that you wanted to build your own life in the big city...that you maybe wouldn’t want to hear from silly old me...I- I don’t know…”

Zelda simply hummed then sighed heavily, before asking.

“And why did you kiss me?”

The teacher hadn’t expected that question, so there was a short silence while she gathered her thoughts.

“Oh...well umm... a few years after you left, I realised that I missed you far more than I would have a friend, or a student I cared for very much. I- I thought about you every day, wondering how you were, what you were doing, how life in New York was like for you. I would hear a certain piece of music or come across a certain book and immediately think of you. You were the last person on my mind at night and the first in the morning. I was quite confused, frankly...because no one had ever invaded my thoughts the way you had, so I concluded that it had to be...love…and it made me realise I had never been in love until then.”

“Well, that was quite a thorough explanation…”

She said teasingly, slightly lightening the mood, and Mary pretended to look a little offended, after having revealed so much. Zelda only laughed and leaned up to meet her lips in a more passionate kiss, tangling her fingers in the older woman’s wild mass of dark hair. When they parted for breath, she smiled and whispered.

_“I love you, Mary.”_

_“I love you too, Zelda.”_

Their moment was interrupted by their stomachs rumbling simultaneously, making them chuckle. The brunette pecked her on the lips before suggesting.

“I guess our bodies are trying to tell us something. Come, I’ll make us breakfast.”

The younger woman nodded, getting off of her and out of bed. Mary handed her a long, emerald green, silk robe. When the musician slipped it on and looked down at herself, noticing it did very little to cover her chest, she said in a teasing tone.

“Oh my, Miss Wardwell...if I didn’t know better, I would think you were trying to get yourself a nice view…”

The teacher smirked while unashamedly staring at her.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t know better, Miss Spellman. And the colour suits you...matches your beautiful eyes.”

Zelda blushed, her comment having basically backfired, but one could say she got what she’d wished for.

They made their way downstairs, and the redhead sat down at the table while the older woman took out a frying pan and turned on the coffee machine. She made them bacon and eggs, then served it on two plates along with some buttered toast and a strong cup of coffee. The cellist smiled at her gratefully and they ate in comfortable silence, occasionally glancing and smiling at each other. When they were done eating and doing the dishes, the redhead made to leave the room, but Mary stopped her.

“Where are you going?”

“Just to get my morning dose of nicotine. I’ll be right back.”

“You can smoke in here. You can feel at home.”

She added innocuously, placing a small cup on the table as a makeshift ashtray, but the words were charged with meaning for Zelda as she asked, sitting back down and lighting a cigarette.

“Is it strange that I feel more at home here with you than I ever have anywhere else?”

She took a slow, deep drag from her cigarette, blowing out the smoke upward in a steady stream, and the brunette could only think about how regal she looked, like a classic Hollywood actress.

“I- no...no, I guess not, though I must admit I didn’t expect you to say that.”

The younger woman took a sip of her second cup of coffee and smiled.

“Well, now you know.”

Mary joined her at the table and placed a warm hand on her free one.

“My sister is coming to visit next week...and I’d like to spend as much time as I can with you until then, if you’d like…”

“Of course, there is nothing I would love more, but why are you saying that as if your sister must be avoided like the plague?”

The brunette laughed lightly, memories of some of Lilith’s antics coming back to her.

“No, she’s fine, just...let’s say original. She’s an artist, actually, a painter, sculptor, she does a bit of everything...but you can meet her if you want.”

“Yes, I’d like that. She sounds quite interesting.”

The older woman smiled before adding.

“Oh and she’s my identical twin, by the way, though we still somehow look very different...and her name is Lilith.”

Zelda’s eyes widened in wonder and surprise.

“Lilith? As in the myth of the first woman?”

“Yes, precisely. Our parents were also...quite special. It’s funny though that they named me Mary. Twin sisters, one named after the first woman and witch turned demon, the other after the mother of God’s only-begotten son…”

The redhead laughed and nodded in agreement.

“My parents and siblings are coming home at the end of next week. Would you- would you maybe like to come over for dinner one night?”

“Oh yes, I’d love to! You know...I had tea with your mother a few times. She’s really a lovely woman. We would sometimes play music together, and I would ask her how you were…”

“Sounds nice...I- what would you tell her?”

“Only that I missed you…”

Zelda hummed, thinking.

“I never told her I liked women...or that I liked, well, loved you. The only person who had guessed was Hilda, my sister...do you think we should tell them? About us?”

“Only if you want to.”

“I do. I need to know how they feel about it, because- because if they don’t accept me for who and what I am, and who I love, then I...I just need you to know I will always choose you…”

Mary didn’t know what to say to that, so she only hummed and smiled lightly, squeezing her hand. The redhead crushed her cigarette in the improvised ashtray before asking.

“Could you play something for me?”

“I- alright, but only if you play something for me too...and maybe we could also play something together.”

“I would love that, but my cello is at home, and we should go get my car. Then we could go there, my father’s a pianist so we have a small Steinway. And...we will have the whole house to ourselves…”

“How nice...let’s do that then.”

The younger woman smiled widely and leaned in to kiss her softly, but the teacher deepened it, and Zelda moaned into her mouth in surprise, making a shiver run down Mary’s spine. When they parted for breath, the musician exclaimed.

“Perfect!”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bach Goldberg variations: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTopxwu1KUE
> 
> Bach cello suite no5 in c minor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhJuSU6C1e0
> 
> Schuman Fantaisiestücke: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lacOvMRpwHI

Mary hastily shoved some scores into her satchel before she drove them to the parking lot in front of Baxter High, then followed Zelda to the Spellman mansion. They walked up the porch steps, sharing a cigarette before making their way inside. The redhead discarded her purse by the door and went to the kitchen.

“Tea?”

“Yes, please. Thank you, dear.”

The younger woman walked to the stove and put the kettle on as Mary observed her, still having a hard time realising this gorgeous young woman had chosen her, and _wanted_ her. She was pulled out of her musings when the musician turned around, placing the teapot along with two cups on the table before sitting down next to her.

“Were you just staring at me, Mary?”

“I- umm...well, you are so gorgeous it’s quite difficult not to…”

She admitted before taking a sip of steaming hot tea, avoiding the younger woman’s gaze as a slight blush crept up her cheeks. Zelda smiled, placing a warm hand on her free one.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. I like it actually…”

The brunette smiled back, locking eyes with her, now more comfortable.

They drank their tea in silence before making their way into the living room and Mary picked up her bag, pulling the stack of scores out of it and sitting at the piano.

“I- I’ve never gotten to play on a Steinway…”

She said, softly caressing the keys in wonder.

“Well, now you can.”

“I’ve started playing through Bach’s works ever since I received your recording, mostly the Goldberg variations because I- I never dared to try before.”

The redhead smiled, silently urging her to start playing. She melted as soon as she hit the first notes, having almost forgotten how much she loved the older woman’s sound. She let her eyes flutter shut, enjoying the soft music reaching her ears. Before she knew it, she had played through the whole piece, and she opened her eyes.

“That was...beautiful. I would’ve said perfect if there was such a thing in art. Thank you.”

Mary smiled as she went to sit beside her, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, and the musician hummed. She got up, carefully taking her cello out of its case and sat down on the bench, shifting to adjust her position. She started playing Bach’s suite in c minor, without knowing it was the teacher’s favourite out of the six. About halfway through the prelude, tears gathered in the brunette’s eyes. Watching her play, eyes closed, lost in her sound, was something else, so much more intense than just listening to her recording. She unconsciously moved to the rhythm of the music, and the older woman was completely entranced, unable to take her eyes off her. Zelda played through the allemande with a small smile playing on her lips and as she went on to the courante, her brow furrowed in focus. When she got to the sarabande, the brunette observed as her expressions shifted with the emotions she was going through, and her heart clenched; she almost looked sad, as if she were trying to convey things words could never express. Starting the gavottes, it was as if something inside her roared back to life, making her absently tap her right foot softly in rhythm. As she played through the second one, Mary was seemingly hypnotized by the rapid movements of her fingers, effortlessly sliding along the fingerboard. The younger woman’s face looked more serious through the gigue. It was as if she had gone into a world of her own, bringing Mary with her, sharing things only the two of them could understand. Zelda sat motionless for a few minutes after she finished, somehow extending the moment with the silence. She opened her eyes, smiling lightly, but her face fell when she took in the older woman’s unreadable expression and the tears rolling down her cheeks. She carefully placed her instrument down on the floor before rushing to her side, kneeling in front of her and taking her hands in hers. 

“Oh, Mary...w-what’s wrong?”

She asked, voice filled with worry. The teacher looked down at her, eyes shiny with emotion, taking a deep breath in an effort to compose herself so she could speak.

“You- you are a gift, Zelda Spellman. You breathe music, like it’s a fundamental part of your being and I- I couldn’t even begin to explain all the things you make me feel...I missed this, _so much…I love you.”_

She breathed out and the redhead’s heart swelled, slightly reassured, and she got up to sit beside her. She pressed a tender kiss to her cheek before nuzzling her neck, breathing in her comforting scent, and Mary sighed.

_“I love you more...you couldn’t possibly imagine how much I love you.”_

She folded her legs underneath her, snuggling into the older woman’s side, who lovingly stroked her hair, lost it thought. They stayed like that for what would’ve seemed like an eternity to any outsider, until Zelda quietly suggested.

“Schumann?”

“Hmm? Oh...I- I have a hard time with him…”

“How so?”

“He was...troubled, I guess? And I can feel it in his music, the darkness, the internal dilemmas. I- I think it scares me…”

The redhead’s brow furrowed in confusion, though she partly understood what she meant. She looked at her expectantly, hoping she would explain further.

“Maybe it scares me because...I sometimes wonder if I am similar.”

The younger woman hummed her understanding, because she sometimes felt that way about herself too, and there was a short silence.

“But...wouldn’t it be different if we played together? Could we- could we at least try? And we’ll stop if it becomes too much for you.”

She looked deeply into her ice-blue eyes, getting lost in them for a brief moment, and Mary couldn’t say no.

“I- alright.”

They silently got up from the couch before each taking their place. They started playing the fantaisiestücke, Zelda occasionally glancing back at her to check that she was okay, and she smiled upon seeing the brunette’s eyes focused expression as she read through the score and the small smile playing on her lips. They turned to smile at each other between each movement, and the redhead was surprised by how well the teacher could sight-read the rasch mit Feuer, making virtually no mistakes at all. As soon as they were done, the younger woman put her cello down and went to sit next to her at the piano, awkwardly wrapping her arms around her from the side.

“ _Thank you.”_

Mary smiled against the porcelain skin of her neck before placing soft kisses there, and she felt the musician sigh, melting under her touch.

“I would do anything for you, my love.”

Zelda pulled back, gazing into her eyes, a single tear rolling down her cheek as she whispered.

_“Please say that again.”_

_“My love…”_

The redhead sniffled and the brunette gently wiped her tear way, cupping her cheek. The younger woman passionately, desperately pressed her lips to hers, as if she were trying to show her how much she loved her through the kiss. The teacher moaned into her mouth as she deepened the kiss, their tongues dancing together, and a chill ran down Zelda’s spine, heat growing in her lower abdomen. 

When they parted for breath, the redhead took her hand, pulling her up with her before leading her to the couch. She pushed her down and climbed onto her lap, straddling her, and Mary gasped, seeing the cellist’s eyes darkened with lust. The younger woman kissed her again before whispering against her lips, cupping her face between her hands.

_“I want you, Mary. I need you...now.”_

The older woman groaned, fighting the tension already building inside her and gently pushed her back.

“ _Zelda..._ I- I want you too, but...isn’t it too soon? We- you came back only ten days ago...”

She asked nervously, running her hands up and down her sides, and the musician chuckled, her breath tickling the other woman’s skin.

“Mary...I’ve been waiting for ten years... _please…”_

“Don’t beg, my love.”

She said before pulling her down, meeting her lips in a searing kiss. When they parted, Zelda looked down at her, chest and face flushed, an insecure, shy look on her face. Mary’s brow furrowed in confusion, silently asking her if something was wrong with her piercing blue eyes.

“I need to tell you something first…”

When she didn’t elaborate, the brunette urged her to continue, in a calm, patient voice.

“Talk to me, darling.”

The redhead sighed, casting her eyes down before meeting hers again.

“I- I’ve never done this before…”

“That’s okay. We can go slowly…and I'll be gentle.”

She reassured her and the younger woman exhaled shakily, relieved. She felt stupid for asking, but she thought she needed to know.

“H- have you?”

The older woman quirked an eyebrow, not really expecting the question.

“Yes. Once, with Adam, but only because I...I thought I had to, that I somehow owed him that. I don’t regret it but it- it didn’t feel right...I suppose I was never meant to be with a man.”

“And have you ever been with a woman?”

“I- no...and I think you can guess why…”

Zelda nodded slowly, smiling, and kissed her tenderly. When she pulled back, she started tracing the older woman’s sharp features with her fingertips, completely entranced by her beauty, following the small lines of expression that graced her face. She was looking at her with so much love Mary could have cried. The redhead leaned in, placing soft kisses along the column of her neck and the brunette held on to her tightly, hardly believing this was real. She let her hands wander down to the younger woman’s buttocks, squeezing lightly and the cellist let out a quiet moan, unconsciously starting to grind her hips. The heat between her legs was already almost unbearable as the teacher started playing with her nipples through two layers of fabric; it was deliciously frustrating.

_“M- mary...take me to bed…”_

The older woman buried her face in her neck, kissing just above her pulse point before sucking harder and Zelda let out a low moan. Mary gently helped her off her lap and the redhead led them upstairs to her bedroom, closing the door behind her and pinning her lover against it, making her gasp in surprise. She crashed her lips against hers, immediately deepening the kiss, and the brunette returned it with equal fervour. When they parted, breathless, the younger woman nibbled at her earlobe, making her shudder, and whispered.

_“I can’t wait to taste you…”_

The teacher groaned loudly at the prospect then thought _Right here?_ though she wasn’t about to stop her.

“Please…”

“If I don’t need to beg, then neither do you.”

She said with great finality as she started to slowly unbutton her blouse. As soon as she got to the last one, the brunette shrugged it off, letting it fall to the floor. Zelda placed almost bruising kisses along her collar bones and she moaned, arching her back off the wall as the younger woman reached around to unclasp her thin cotton bra. She slid it off her arms and threw it on top of the blouse, palming her now bare breasts and tweaking her nipples between her thumbs and forefingers. Mary whined, feeling herself already trembling with anticipation. 

The redhead didn’t waste much time, licking and kissing down her sternum and the expanse of her stomach before kneeling and unzipping her skirt with shaky fingers. She pulled it down her slender legs and the older woman stepped out of it. Zelda raked her nails up her stocking-clad legs before pulling the sheer nylon down. 

When she got them off, she gasped upon noticing the small wet spot on her white panties, licking her lips and looking up at her, silently asking for permission. The teacher nodded sharply and she pulled the undergarment down, running her hands up the soft freckled skin of her legs. She rose to her feet, looking at her lover fully bared before her and tears gathered in her eyes.

“Zelda? Zelda, my love, what’s wrong?”

She asked, suddenly feeling exposed, wondering if it actually was too soon. She cupped her cheek, softly wiping her tears away and the redhead instantly leaned into her loving touch, letting out a shaky sigh.

“Y- you... _ you’re just so beautiful and I-” _

She took a breath, trying to compose herself.

_ “I love you and I- I don’t want to disappoint you…” _

She admitted in an almost whisper, and Mary’s heart broke. She held her face between her hands, forcing her to meet her eyes.

“ _ Oh, Zelda _ ...you- you could never disappoint me.  _ I love you so much…” _

She said before wrapping her arms around her in a tight hug, and the younger woman shuddered, burying her face in the crook of her neck.

_ “We don’t have to do this yet if you are not ready, my love.” _

The redhead instantly shook her head, placed a soft kiss underneath her jawline and pulled back.

“No. I’m ready, and I want this.  _ I want you. And I want to make you feel good. _ ”

She said the words with so much certainty the older woman wasn’t afraid anymore.  _ It’s okay. She wants this as much as I do.  _ Zelda leaned in to softly press her lips against hers, and the kiss quickly grew more heated, somewhat surprising the brunette at the rapid change in her behaviour. The cellist slowly ran her fingers all across her body, placing loving kisses on her soft skin as she went, wanting to commit every curve, every freckle, every line to memory. Mary sighed, letting herself get lost in her touches. Before she knew it, the musician was kneeling before her, looking up at her with her sea-green eyes that seemed to be silently saying  _ I’m fine. Don’t worry. _

Slightly trembling hands gripped her upper thighs as Zelda inhaled the intoxicating scent of her arousal, making her dizzy with want.

_“You smell so good…”_

Mary didn’t even have the time to react before the redhead slowly licked up her length, parting her soft folds. She moaned more loudly than either of them had expected; they had wanted this for so long it was almost too much. 

_“And you taste even better…”_

The younger woman whispered between lazy licks, eating her out in slow strokes of her tongue, as if she were savouring a delicate meal she wanted to make last forever. The brunette felt herself grow wetter at the sound of her lover’s low, raspy voice, and reached her hand down. Zelda took the hint, lacing their fingers together and resting their entwined hands on the side of the teacher’s thigh. Mary sighed, resisting the urge to let her eyes flutter shut to keep looking down at the beautiful redhead whose face was buried between her legs, and the sight alone was almost enough to send her over the edge. The musician gazed up at her through batting eyelashes, her emerald green eyes almost innocent, and it felt terribly _sinful,_ in the most delicious of ways.

The younger woman licked down to her entrance and slid her tongue inside her, fucking her torturously slowly and moaning at the addictive taste. The vibration sent what felt like a jolt of electricity up the brunette’s spine, and she let out a breathy moan, already fighting to keep herself upright.

The cellist licked up her length to find her bundle of nerves, circling it in feather-light circles. When she flicked her tongue right underneath the hood of her clit, Mary cried out, slamming her free hand against the wall.

“YES! Yesss...r-right there! Fuck, you’re so g-gooood…”

Zelda chuckled against the flushed skin, having never heard the woman who used to be her teacher swear. She kept licking at the tiny spot that made her lover moan louder and louder, writhe against the wall. She spoke between licks as the woman above her whined and squirmed.

“I could stay like this forever. No place I’d rather be than between your legs. Fucking you and eating you out as if it were my life’s only purpose. A blessing. A gift.”

Mary moaned and groaned, spurred on by her words, unable to stop herself from rocking her hips against her face. The redhead doubled up her efforts to keep up with her, now intent on making her lover come all over her, and the thought alone made a flood of wetness soak through her panties. She had never gotten so wet, drowning in her lover’s taste and her sounds of pleasure. She latched on to her almost overstimulated, swollen clit, and sucked as if her life depended on it. The brunette let out a silent cry, barely able to breathe anymore, her chest heaving as small droplets of sweat ran along her skin. 

Zelda tentatively let her teeth graze her bundle of nerves, making her legs shake slightly as she came, a gush of wetness splashing onto the younger woman’s chin. She moaned at the feeling, hungrily lapping up all her juices. She didn’t stop there though, fucked her with her tongue, her nose bumping against Mary’s clit with each thrust. She stopped for half a second to say.

“Mary, look at me.”

The brunette looked down, completely incapable of speech at this point.

“Come for me.”

It almost sounded like a command, sending the brunette careening over the edge with a hoarse cry, clenching around her tongue and moaning Zelda’s name over and over again like a prayer. The redhead licked her clean then pressed a reverent kiss just above her clit. She sat back on her heels, looking up at her lovingly while caressing her legs until she came down from her high. Mary was laughing, almost delirious in her post-orgasm haze. 

“Come up here.”

She said while pulling the musician up to her feet. She kissed her hard, moaning upon tasting her own arousal on her lover’s lips.

_“I love you.”_

_“I love you too…”_

_“Now let me take care of you, my sweet, sweet girl…”_


	11. Chapter 11

Zelda lunged forward, kissing her passionately, pressing her hands on her chest, pushing her harder against the wall. She took her bottom lip between her teeth, pulling lightly, before entwining their tongues, making Mary moan into the kiss. The redhead whined as they parted for breath.

_“Are you wet for me, Zelda?”_

She asked in a low, sensual voice the younger woman had never heard from her. The question alone made her even wetter, and she let out a shaky breath. She bit her bottom lip, blushing, and she slowly nodded her head, looking at her with dark eyes, pupils blown wide with desire.

“I need you to use your words, darling…”

Instead of answering, the musician took her hand, guiding it between her legs. Mary gasped in surprise before letting out a low groan upon feeling her linen trousers soaked through. She kissed her again, slowly making her step back until her legs met the edge of her bed.

“Lay down for me, my love.”

Zelda grinned before sitting on the bed and scooting back to lay flat on the mattress. The brunette crawled on top her, stroking back her auburn hair and took off her glasses, placing them on the night table. As Mary slightly leaned forward, the redhead couldn’t resist and took a nipple in her mouth, sucking greedily, and the older woman let out a quiet moan.

“D- don’t distract me..this- this is about you now…”

The cellist hummed, releasing the hardened bud with a wet pop.

“I think I could come just from pleasing you.”

The teacher groaned, laid down on top of her and kissed her hungrily, frustrated that the younger woman was still fully clothed. Zelda felt the same and started unbuttoning her shirt when the brunette propped herself up on her arms.

“Let me.”

She said, gently taking hold of her wrists and pinning them above her head, making the redhead gasp, staring into her piercing blue eyes, her own widening, and for a second Mary was worried the action had been too much.

“I- I’m sorry I...are you okay?”

She nodded enthusiastically. _Good. She’s fine. Just aroused._

“Perfect. Keep them there for me.”

Zelda obeyed, already squirming at the feeling of her lover’s body pressed between her legs, resisting the urge to buck her hips against her. The older woman didn’t waste much time unbuttoning her shirt with her nimble fingers, marvelling at every new expanse of revealed porcelain skin, caressing her chest.

_“Your skin is so soft…”_

She whispered, her ice-blue eyes filled with admiration. She leaned down, pulling down the cup of her bra, circling a nipple with her tongue, feeling it harden under her ministrations. The redhead whined, and Mary smiled before lightly sucking, making the younger woman arch into her touch, searching for more. The brunette sucked harder before tentatively biting down, gently, and Zelda moaned quietly, getting lost in the foreign, delicious feeling. The older woman let go of the pink bud, absently playing with the other one.

_“So sensitive…”_

_“M-hmm...t- take it off.”_

She breathed out, arching her back so the teacher could unclasp the offending garment. Mary shifted to straddle her legs and the musician sat up, getting out of her shirt and bra, tossing them to the side before laying back down again. The teacher leaned down and nuzzled her neck, inhaling her delicate scent of jasmine mixed with lingering smoke before placing soft kisses there, sucking lightly.

_“Bite me. M- mark me, Mary. I want to remember this. Claim me as yours...”_

The brunette was surprised, hesitating for a few seconds, but couldn’t bring herself to deny her what she wanted. She bit her lightly and Zelda sighed.

_“Harder. I won’t break. Y- you don’t have to be so gentle...s-so...scared.”_

_But I promised to be gentle...I’m afraid I’ll hurt you. Always..._ She was pulled out of her anxieties as Zelda whined and whispered.

_“Please, Mary…”_

She instantly gave in, harshly biting her neck and the redhead cried out in pleasure. She soothingly licked over the spot before sucking hard, leaving what would turn into a dark bruise. She kissed and lightly sucked above her pulse point before whispering in her ear.

_“Tell me what you want.”_

_“Again…”_

Mary did the same to the other side of her neck, leaving a mark symmetrical to the other one, and Zelda cradled her head, keeping her there as if she might leave. The brunette let her teeth graze down her milky-white skin, sucking a pink, already darkening mark at the base of her throat before placing soft bites along her collarbones. She kissed down her sternum, licking the underside of her breast, rolling the nipple of the other between her thumb and forefinger, making Zelda sigh in pleasure, her eyes fluttering shut. 

The older woman reached a hand down between her legs, cupping her over the two layers of material, and the cellist bucked her hips, looking for some friction. The teacher crawled down her body, lovingly stroking her sides as she went, then sat back on her heels. The redhead looked up at her, in awe.

_“Gorgeous...my Mary. I can’t b- believe-”_

She whimpered quietly and fought back the tears that threatened to spill. Mary leaned forward, holding herself up on one arm, and gently caressed her face, tracing her soft features before wiping away the single tear that had rolled down her cheek.

_“Please don’t cry...I love you.”_

Zelda sniffled then nodded, composing herself, and the brunette smiled, ice-blue eyes filled with adoration. She sat back again, toying with the hem of her black linen trousers, and she chuckled lightly when the younger woman wiggled her hips.

“I swear to God, Mary, if you don’t take these off right now I’m going to combust.”

She smiled, unbuttoning the piece of clothing, much too slowly in the redhead’s opinion, but she didn’t dare complain. Mary pulled them down her legs, making her shiver as the cool air of the room hit her bare skin. She kissed the inside of her ankle, then the other, and Zelda let out a shaky breath, looking down at her through hooded eyes. The brunette licked up her leg, placing soft kisses here and there until she reached her hipbone, then slid back down, doing the same to the other. The younger woman melted under her caring, loving ministrations, but whined in frustration. Finally, Mary pressed her nose against her covered centre, inhaling the intoxicating scent of her arousal, knowing she would quickly become addicted to it. The musician fought to keep still and silent, not wanting to show how desperate she now was. The teacher looked up at her, pupils blown wide with a burning desire. She rested her chin above her pubic bone, mindlessly caressing the soft skin of her tummy.

“May I?”

She nodded sharply but the brunette kept looking at her expectantly.

“Yes. Yes, always yes…”

The older woman hooked her fingers into the waistband of her underwear and pulled them down her legs, licking her lips as she looked at the glistening pink flesh before her, covered by a small patch of light hair. She comfortably laid down on her stomach, nestled between her lover’s legs, who unconsciously spread them wider for her. She licked up her length in one broad stroke, parting her folds, and Zelda let out a strangled moan, but she reached her hands down, cupping her face between them so she would look up at her. Mary met her eyes, suddenly getting worried again, and the redhead sensed this.

“Don’t worry. I’m fine, just...please come back up here, I- _I need to feel you…”_

The brunette nodded her understanding and crawled up her body, pressing herself against her, making the cellist sigh in relief and tightly wrap her arms around her as if she were trying to meld them into one. After a few moments, the teacher rose up slightly to slowly reach a hand down between them, caressing her lower stomach before asking in a sultry voice, looking deep into her eyes. It felt like a stupid question but she thought she needed to know.

“Tell me, Zelda...do you touch yourself?”

The musician bit her lower lip, blushing furiously, then said.

“I...sometimes, but- but I’m not really sure if I’ve ever...you know…”

“That’s fine. I...I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm before today…”

The younger woman’s eyes widened, somewhat shocked but didn’t want to say anything. Then her heart swelled with pride, realising she had been the one to give her that. She was pulled out of her thoughts when Mary asked in a low voice.

“And what do you think about?”

“I- what?”

“When you touch yourself, what do you think about?”

She repeated, starting to play with the soft strawberry-blonde curls between Zelda’s legs, making it hard for her to focus.

“I- I….”

“It’s okay. You can tell me…”

“You. I always think about you…”

She admitted, and the brunette growled possessively, in a most uncharacteristic way that made the redhead’s cunt throb with need. Mary rested the palm of her hand between her legs without moving it, and the younger was still fighting not to grind against it, thinking that it would wound her pride for some reason. The teacher kissed her hungrily then said, as if she were noticing this only now.

“God, you’re soaked….almost dripping down my hand...and all for me.”

Zelda’s moan vibrated through her chest before she said, hoping that she’d just _get on with it._

“Yes, all for you. Only you can get me like this, Mary, and- and stop teasing me...you already knew how _wet_ I am…”

The older woman groaned and placed bruising kisses along the column of the younger woman’s elegant neck, now knowing that she liked that. She gathered some wetness on her fingertips before going up to find her clit, slowly circling it in feather-light circles with her middle finger. The redhead moaned in pleasure, finally letting go and bucking her hips, searching for more contact. Mary smirked against her skin and whispered in her ear.

_“If you want me to go faster all you need do is ask.”_

Zelda whined, nodding sharply in her daze, but soon realised actual words were expected from her.

“Yes. Yes please, faster, and- and _harder…”_

She breathed out and the teacher smiled lightly, satisfied. She pushed herself up so she could look down at her, observe the changes in her facial expressions. She steadily increased her pace and the pressure, drawing firmer circles around her bundle of nerves, and the younger woman cried out, her features contorting into a look of pure ecstasy. She fought to keep her eyes open, wanting to look at the woman she loved above her, making her feel things she never had before. She rolled her hips, matching the brunette’s rhythm as she started panting.

_“Mary…”_

“Yes, my love, tell me what you need.”

She blushed further, chest heaving, having a hard time asking for what she wanted, but then the words spilled out of her in broken whispers, between ragged breaths.

_“Your- your fingers...I ache. I feel so empty. I need you inside me...I- I need you to fuck me…”_

Mary moaned at her words, the sound of her voice low and heavy with arousal, then said sternly.

“Language, young lady.”

She felt her clit twitch under her touch and smirked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh you like it when I use that tone, do you?”

She nodded sharply, turning her head to avoid her burning gaze. 

“And don’t wait until you’re hurting to ask me for things. I don’t want you hurting, ever. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Mary.”

The brunette smiled lightly, then removed her hand from her centre and Zelda whined at the loss, more loudly than she had intended to. The older woman brought it up to cup her cheek, gently forcing her to look at her, and pressed her wet fingers to her lips.

“Open up.”

She obeyed, taking her two fingers in her mouth and sucking them clean, moaning around them as she tasted her own wetness. She looked at her lover with innocent, shiny eyes and the teacher felt arousal coiling within her once more at the sight. She released them with a wet pop, a little bit of spit running down her chin.

“Good girl.”

The redhead whined at the praise, breathing shakily.

“Do you like it when I call you a good girl, Zelda?”

She asked even if she already knew the answer. The redhead nodded shyly, and the older woman commanded in that same, stern tone.

“Answer me.”

The cellist whimpered, somehow growing more and more aroused, the throbbing between her legs becoming almost painful, making her feel like she would burst into flames if her lover didn’t touch her soon.

_“Yes…”_

She admitted in a faint whisper and Mary smiled, glad she trusted her enough to tell her what she liked. She slid her wet hand back down between the younger woman’s legs, who sighed in relief just from the slightest brush of her clit. She pressed firm circles around it for a while, making Zelda let out a string of loud moans. She teased her entrance until the redhead groaned in frustration.

“Are you ready?”

She nodded sharply, getting increasingly impatient.

“I’ve never been more ready for anything... _please…”_

The brunette leaned down to kiss her tenderly before whispering against her lips.

_“I love you.”_

She slowly entered her with her middle finger, letting out a quiet moan upon feeling the tight heat welcoming her. The musician sighed in relief, taking hold of her lover’s free hand and pressing them into the mattress to ground herself. Mary slowly started thrusting in and out of her, giving her some time to adjust before carefully adding her ring finger. Zelda let out a loud, high-pitched moan, squeezing her hand so tightly the brunette thought her bones might break, but she didn’t care. She pumped in and out of her, then curled her fingers in search of her g-spot. She knew she found it when the younger woman cried out in pleasure, her chest heaving. 

“YES! F-fuck! Right there! Please don’t stop…”

_Never._ She thought and kept up her pace until the cellist requested in a whisper.

_“Maaary...I- more.”_

“A- are you sure?”

She asked, slightly concerned, worried it might be too much, but she also wanted to give her anything she might need.

_“Yes, I’m sure. Just- just one more...please…”_

_I wish you could stop begging, my love._ She wondered if she felt obligated to do so, or if she simply wanted to, but she quickly shook the thought away. She looked down at her with shiny eyes as she pulled her fingers half out before adding her index finger and slowly pushing back. She was so tight she was afraid she might hurt her. She searched her face for any signs of discomfort, sighing in relief when she found none. When her three fingers slipped in to the knuckle, Zelda screamed and Mary instantly stilled, feeling panic rise inside her. _That’s it. I’ve done it. I’ve hurt her._ The younger woman, who had never stopped looking up at her the whole time, smiled and reached up with her free hand to lovingly caress her cheek. She took a few deep breaths so she could speak.

“I’m fine, my love. K- keep going…”

“Okay, but I- I’ll need you to talk to me. Don’t stop talking to me…”

“Alright. I’ll try my best.”

The brunette smiled back, reassured, and slowly started thrusting into her. The musician threw her head back, squeezing her eyes shut, arching her back and rolling her hips as if she were trying to take her in deeper. Mary couldn’t tear her eyes off her, tearing up as she thought about how much trust her lover was putting in her. She progressively increased her pace when Zelda started frantically squirming beneath her, searching for _something._

_“You’re a vision, my love…”_

She whispered, doing her best to control her emotions, and the redhead opened her eyes to look at her with so much adoration she could have cried.

_“You’re so beautiful like this. Every part of you is so beautiful. I love you...so, so much.”_

She said shakily.

“Are you okay? Do you- do you feel good?”

The younger woman nodded sharply, moaning as she lost herself in her pleasure.

_“Thank you...for letting me see you like this...for trusting me…”_

Zelda’s breaths came in short and fast, but she managed to mouth _It’s because I love you,_ making the brunette smile.

“I want to taste you…”

She said in a sultry voice before starting to move down, but the cellist let go of her hand, scrambling to tightly wrap her arms around her neck as she whispered through ragged breaths, panicking slightly.

_“No...no, please stay.”_

_“Shhh...okay, okay. I’m not going anywhere, my love.”_

Zelda whimpered, her beautiful green eyes filled with gratitude. Mary leaned down to kiss her deeply, swallowing the redhead’s moans when she hit _just the right spot._ The older woman felt wetness gathering between her legs, trickling down her inner thighs, and she started to wonder if she could come like this, untouched, just from fucking the younger woman into oblivion, feeling her warm inner walls fluttering around her fingers. 

She brought her thumb up to circle her clit while she kept curling her fingers inside her, and the redhead cried out, pulling her down to bury her face in her neck, inhaling her comforting scent that now felt like _home._ She was moaning and whining constantly, getting close to her climax.

Mary slightly increased her pace, pressing harder onto her bundle of nerves.

“Aahhh….you- you’re so good to me, Mary. Fuck I love you!”

The brunette felt her own cunt throbbing now, clenching around nothing as she tried to focus on her lover’s pleasure. She felt Zelda tighten around her fingers, her clit pulsing fast under her thumb.

“Maaary...I- I think I’m gonna...oooohh fuck!”

“You’re doing so well, Zelda. Let go. Come for me, my love, _my good girl…”_

That sent the younger woman crashing over the edge, screaming her lover’s name as she came, clamping down impossibly tightly around her fingers and gushing onto the sheets. Mary was overwhelmed by the feelings, and felt as if she might explode as she came with a hoarse cry, collapsing on top of the redhead who wrapped her arms around her. She was still inside her as her inner walls kept throbbing around her fingers. They were breathing heavily, chuckling lightly.

When she felt she had the strength to, the teacher propped herself up on her free arm and pressed a soft kiss to the musician’s lips, who sighed into her mouth, smiling. Feeling her muscles relax, she carefully pulled out of her, making Zelda let out a quiet whimper at the loss and she laughed lightly at her lover’s reaction. Mary brought her own fingers to her lips, sucking them clean of the younger woman's arousal and moaning at the taste, her eyes fluttering shut. The redhead whined at the sight and her still sensitive clit twitched.

“Mmmh...delicious. I’ll need to get a better taste next time…”

She said in a sultry voice, staring deep into the cellist’s eyes, who let out a quiet moan before nodding sharply. The older woman lovingly stroked back her hair, that was damp with sweat, then kissed her on the forehead.

“Are you okay?”

“Never better. I- I never imagined it could be so good…”

“Hmm...well, neither did I…”

She said before kissing her again and the redhead reached down between her legs, gasping upon feeling the wetness gathered there. She looked so adorable the brunette couldn’t help but smile and chuckle.

_“Did you…?”_

The older woman blushed slightly and hummed in confirmation.

“It seems you don’t even need to touch me to make me come, my love…”

_“Oh...b- but how?”_

She breathed out the question wit genuine confusion, and Mary caressed her cheek lovingly, fixing her gaze with hers, eyes filled with adoration.

“My darling girl...you have no idea what you do to me, do you?”

“I- I…”

The brunette kissed the puzzlement off her face, and Zelda hummed contentedly against her lips. When they parted, the older woman looked down at her, taking in her flushed chest and face, the twinkle in her eye, her mussed hair, her swollen lips, her _smile_ , and she had to resist the urge to cry again.

The cellist pulled her down flush against her, as if she could never get her close enough. They kissed and laughed and rolled around in bed until they fell asleep, drunk on their love for each other.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was not supposed to be smut...and yet here we are...I think I might need help...LMAO I've fed you 3 chapters of it so get ready for some fluff and angst...

They woke up about an hour later, still tangled together, Zelda’s head resting atop Mary’s chest, an arm thrown over her middle and her leg nestled between hers. The brunette kissed the top of her head, smiling softly.

“How are you feeling, darling?”

“Hmm...I’m quite sure I’ve never felt this good in my life…”

She said before kissing the underline of her jaw. Their eyes met as the redhead shifted to look up at her, a worried look on her face, and the older woman lovingly stroked her hair, silently asking her to talk to her.

“But I- I feel... _ embarrassed.” _

She whispered shyly, and the teacher’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“Why would you feel embarrassed?”

“I think...I feel like I was too loud while we- while we were... _ making love.  _ I- I didn’t think... _ ” _

She explained, a faint blush creeping up her pale cheeks and Mary melted at the turn of phrase.  _ She’s so adorable, so pure, so...perfect… _

“I don’t think you are supposed to think during sex, my dear...I think you should just take what you want, ask for what you need, and... _ feel.  _ And there is absolutely no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed for being vocal, my love. It was...quite the turn-on if you ask me, and- and I feel like you maybe let yourself go because you feel safe with me… and m- maybe because you trust me…”

She added, suddenly feeling insecure for some reason, avoiding the other’s gaze. The cellist reached a hand up to softly cup her cheek, gently forcing her to look her in the eyes, and the only thing the brunette could see in Zelda’s was pure adoration. A lone tear rolled down her cheek, which the younger woman swiftly wiped away.

“I always feel safe with you...and of course I trust you, Mary. I-  _ I trust you with my life… _ ”

She sounded so deeply sincere Mary couldn’t stop the tears from escaping her eyes, and she smiled weakly before kissing her forehead.

_ “I love you, my sweet, sweet girl.” _

_ “I love you more.” _

She whispered back and sighed contentedly as she fully laid down again, nuzzling her lover’s neck. 

“Perhaps we should get up at some point…”

The brunette suggested after a few moments, and the musician groaned softly against her skin, slowly shaking her head.

“I can see no reason why we should.”

She said, her words slightly muffled, and the older woman chuckled.

“I suppose you are right…”

She agreed and she soon felt the redhead fall back asleep in her arms.

She woke up less than an hour later, yawning and stretching her limbs.

“I should take afternoon naps more often.”

Mary looked down at her still sleepy face, lovingly caressed her cheek and the cellist instantly leaned into her touch.

“Mmh...You are so beautiful when you sleep...You look so peaceful…”

She mused and Zelda smiled, taking her hand and kissing her palm. She rested her head on her shoulder for a while as a comfortable silence fell over them and they both got lost in thought. Then the redhead shifted unto her side, propping herself up on an elbow and leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lover’s lips. When they parted, the teacher instantly noticed the look in the redhead’s sea-green eyes, darkened with lust.

_ Oh...already? _

As realisation dawned upon her, Mary’s facial expression changed, making the younger woman’s lips twist into a mischievous smirk. Her hand that was placed on her breast bone slowly slid down her body, grazing a nipple on the way, making goosebumps rise on her freckled skin as her fingers ghosted over the expanse of her stomach. 

“You are so beautiful, my love...I can feel it with my fingers. So soft, so perfect, sculpted by the Gods…”

Zelda mused as she caressed her soft skin, tracing the swell of her pert breasts, every one of her ribs, the dip of her slim waist and the angle then the curve of her hip. She stopped just over her pubic bone before barely touching the brunette’s clit, and her body jerked in response, making the musician chuckle lightly. The older woman gently took hold of the redhead’s wrist, turning to face her as she looked up at her with pleading eyes, though she couldn’t hide the desire that shone in them.

_ “Zelda... _ I- I can’t handle a  _ fourth  _ orgasm today…”

“Hmm...yes, you can.”

She assured her as she started playing with the soft dark curls between her legs.

“And I bet you are  _ wet,  _ my love… _ again... _ ”

She said as she let her fingers slide lower, slowly parting her folds, meeting her warm wetness and she hummed her approval.

_ “Fuck Zelda...I- I’m still sensitive…” _

“I know...I promise I’ll be gentle...” 

She echoed the older woman’s earlier words and Mary felt her heart flutter. She nodded slowly and let her eyes close, surrendering to her lover’s touch, completely helpless to do anything else. Zelda slowly started circling her clit, lazily, as if she had no purpose, and the brunette moaned, biting her lower lip. The redhead teased her for a while, pressing harder on her bundle of nerves for a split-second before ghosting over it again. 

_ “P- please stop teasing me...I- I can’t…” _

She hummed as if she were thinking it over before she started pressing firm, tight circles around her clit, and the teacher groaned, her breathing slowly getting faster. The younger woman kept stroking her, just slightly increasing her pace, eliciting delicious, soft moans from her lover and she smiled down at her, observing how her features changed and twisted in pleasure. After a while she ventured lower, entering her only to the first knuckle of her middle finger. Mary rolled her hips, trying to coax her into going deeper but Zelda didn’t move, silently waiting for her to ask.

_ “I- inside…” _

Was the only word she could muster, and the redhead smiled, slipping her whole finger into her before soon adding a second. The brunette let out a low moan from the back of her throat, rolling her hips in tandem with the younger woman’s rhythm. The redhead pressed the heel of her hand against her clit with each thrust, wanting to give her as much pleasure as she could. Mary forced her eyes open to look at her, her pupils blown so wide the blue in them was barely visible anymore. She reached a hand up to cup her lover’s cheek, panting, and the cellist smiled softly, her eyes filled with awe and adoration.

_ “K- kiss me…” _

She whispered and Zelda leaned down, locking their lips in a passionate kiss. She swallowed the brunette’s loud moan as she curled her fingers  _ just right  _ and found her g-spot. They parted, Mary gasping for air as she gripped the musician’s free arm. 

_ “Z- Zelda...I can’t. I’m- I’m gonna...I won’t last much longer…” _

The younger woman kept thrusting into her, growing more aroused at the sound of the older woman's audibly wet cunt. She leaned down and pressed a loving kiss to the apple of her cheek, then nibbled on her earlobe before whispering.

_ “Then don’t. Let go. Come for me, Mary.” _

Mary whined loudly and Zelda groaned as she felt her warm inner walls fluttering around her fingers.

_ “I love you.” _

It took those three words and an expert thrust of the redhead’s fingers for the teacher to crash over the edge. She cried out her lover’s name as she came, gushing into her hand, chest heaving.

_ “I love you. I love you…” _

They said it so much, as if they were trying to make up for lost time, and it never felt like it was enough. 

When the brunette relaxed slightly, the younger woman slowly pulled her fingers out and licked her hand clean, moaning at the taste before crawling down her body. She looked up into hooded ice-blue eyes as she started eating her out, licking and swallowing all the evidence of her pleasure greedily as the teacher’s legs started to shake around her head.

_ “Z- Zelda stop…” _

She pleaded, utterly spent and on the brink of overstimulation. The cellist licked at her one last time and hummed before pressing a reverent kiss just above her clit, making Mary let out a shaky sigh. She took hold of her hands, urging her to come up, so Zelda slid up her body and met her lips in a heated kiss, both of them moaning at the taste of the brunette’s arousal. The redhead laid on top of her, comfortably nestled between her legs, revelling in the feeling of the other’s skin pressed against her own.

_ “Thank you.” _

The musician had her face buried in the crook of her neck, placing soft kisses there.

“Mmh...don’t. I’ll never grow tired of seeing you like this, of watching you come for me, being lost in pleasure…”

She said with a smirk before the teacher pulled her down for another kiss. Zelda rolled off of her and nuzzled her neck as Mary wrapped her arms around her, and they stayed like that for a while, basking in each other’s warmth and comforting scent.

“Mary...I don’t know what time it is, but we probably should go down and eat something…”

She suggested, looking up at her, and she saw her lover smirk as she checked her watch.

“Hmm...almost four o’clock, but...I would rather eat  _ you _ , darling.”

The redhead playfully swatted her arm and rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t help but smile.

“You know I meant food…”

The brunette kept looking at her expectantly, an eyebrow raised and her smirk never leaving her lips. Zelda sighed in defeat, though there was a curious glint in her eye.

“Alright, you can eat me...but  _ later…” _

She said while trying to hide her enthusiasm from her voice. She got up from the bed, going to fetch the silk robe that was draped over her vanity chair, deciding to forego wearing clothes as she guessed they would stay inside for the rest of the day. Mary was lustfully staring at her behind and she didn’t manage to look up fast enough when the younger woman turned around, raising an eyebrow.

“Were you just staring at my ass?”

She hummed and fixed her gaze with hers, resisting the urge to follow her elegant movements as she put on the garment.

“It’s hard not to when you look so  _ delicious…” _

Zelda rolled her eyes and went to fetch another robe from her closet, throwing it at the brunette’s face.

“You’re an insatiable woman, Mary Wardwell. We’ve just spent over four hours in bed.”

Mary laughed lightly as she stood to slip on the navy blue robe.

“For you I sure am, and you love it…”

The younger woman scoffed but blushed slightly, turning around to hide her giddy smile.

“Come now. I’m hungry.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty angsty to be honest, so I couldn't resist adding a bit of smut to relieve the tension 😌
> 
> Here's the link to the piece Mary plays for Zelda:  
> https://youtu.be/WnFs85pLmj4

“Pasta?”

Zelda asked as she was looking through the cupboards. The brunette hummed and joined her, wrapping her arms around her waist from behind and pressing a tender kiss to the base of her neck before resting her chin on her shoulder.

“Sounds perfect...but let me help.”

She said, and the redhead leaned back against her, her eyes fluttering shut. She then turned around and softly kissed her lips before they got to work; the younger woman put on a pot filled with salted water on the stove and threw in the spaghetti when it started boiling, and Mary chopped some vegetables and onions to make a sauce.

“Onions make me sad…”

She said with a pout, her eyes teary. The cellist chuckled and gestured for her to move.

“Let me.”

She took over, then tossed the cut up, offending vegetable into the pan before adding crushed tomatoes. They stood beside each other, stirring absently until everything was cooked and the musician strained the pasta before adding it to the pan, mixing it all together. She served them two plates and they sat at the table.

“Didn’t realise I was so hungry.”

The teacher said after her first mouthful, moaning at the taste, and Zelda hummed her agreement, blushing slightly. They ate in silence for a while, until the younger woman asked.

"When is Lilith coming?"

Mary looked up at her, smiling lightly.

"Tuesday evening."

"And where is she coming from? I mean...where does she live?"

"New York…"

"Oh...that's interesting."

"Yes, I suppose it is…"

There was a short silence as they got lost in their thoughts for a moment.

"And your family, when are they coming back?"

"My siblings Wednesday and my parents Friday. So maybe you could come over for dinner Saturday evening?"

"I'd really like that. As long as it's alright with them…"

"I can't think of any reason why it wouldn't be."

Zelda said as she placed her hand on hers comfortingly.

They got up, did the dishes before going to settle down in the parlour and the redhead poured them each a glass of whiskey. She joined the older woman on the couch, tucking her legs beneath her and snuggling into her lover’s side. She took an appreciative sip of the amber liquid, relishing the slight burn as it ran down her throat.

"I feel as if I can never be close enough to you…"

She said, seemingly out of nowhere, and the teacher hummed, absently playing with her auburn locks.

"Maybe it's because you actually don't know that much about me…"

"Probably, but I...I still feel like you have been living in my heart almost since the day I met you…as if you are  _ in my veins _ , like I couldn't get you out if I tried."

The brunette shifted to look at her, slightly concerned, a single tear threatening to fall.

"I- you don't mean-"

The cellist cut her off, understanding what she was saying.

"No. No, I just meant it metaphorically."

"Alright."

She said, though quite unconvinced, before pressing a loving kiss on the top of her head and Zelda smiled, her eyes fluttering shut.

"But I wouldn't have it any other way. I want to have you here, in my heart, because that is where you belong."

She said with great conviction and Mary's heart fluttered at the words.

"And you belong in mine. I have said this before but I'll say it again...you can have me for as long as you want..."

The musician nuzzled her neck, her thick, dark hair, inhaling her sweet scent of lavender and lemongrass.

_ "Forever." _

She whispered against her soft skin before kissing her pulse point, making her shiver slightly.

"Forever…"

And they both desperately wanted to believe that, so they chose to, pushing away any negative thoughts about the inevitable consequences of time.

After a while, the younger woman moved away to grab her lighter and pack of cigarettes before lighting one, and they passed it between them until only the filter remained. Zelda crushed it in the marble ashtray and sighed, snuggling back into the brunette's side.

"Mary?"

The teacher hummed, drawing mindless patterns up and down her forearm, exposing her porcelain skin previously covered by the silky material of her emerald robe.

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

She seemed to think it over before answering honestly.

"I don't think I ever did...until I fell in love with you."

_ You being away was so painful I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come back... _ She thought to herself while fighting to keep her tears at bay.

The redhead smiled and leaned up to kiss her softly.

"You are my soulmate, Mary.  _ I love you." _

She whispered against her lips before kissing her again.

_ "I love you too, Zelda." _

They stayed that way, pressed against each other on the couch, until the younger woman was almost falling asleep and Mary shook her gently.

"Zelda..."

The younger woman groaned lightly and yawned.

"I'm sorry. I- I barely ever slept before...before I came back here...back to you."

The teacher gave her a small smile, lovingly stroking her hair.

"Neither did I. I always thought about you...w- worried about you…"

"Why?"

"I think you know why."

The younger woman looked at her, brow furrowing in confusion.

“I don’t...no one here knew about how I was truly doing, so…”

“The state you were in when you came to say goodbye that night...I’ll never forget how-”

She cut herself off as she sniffled and wiped away the few tears that had rolled down her cheeks. The musician took her hand in hers and squeezed it, memories of that night flashing through her mind, and she had to fight the urge to cry. 

“How heartbroken you were...I felt  _ so guilty,  _ Zelda, and I was so scared, so afraid it might not pass. I- I honestly hoped you would forget me…”

She admitted sadly, and the cellist couldn’t hold back her tears any longer as her lower lip started trembling slightly.

“ _ Mary...how could I ever have forgotten you? I love you.” _

She whispered desperately before tightly wrapping her arms around her lover, who buried her face in the crook of her neck.

“And please stop blaming yourself. You weren’t, and aren’t, responsible for my feelings...no one is.”

She said with great finality, and the brunette nodded softly, letting out a shaky breath she wasn’t aware she had been holding. They held onto each other for God knew how long until Zelda pulled back, peppering soft and reassuring kisses all over her lover’s face. Mary smiled and kissed the tip of her nose, making her giggle, and the adorable sound alone made her heart swell. They sat back, their entwined hands in the brunette’s lap, and the redhead rested her head on her shoulder. She hummed contentedly, glad the slight heaviness of the atmosphere had been lifted. After a few moments of peaceful and comfortable silence, the younger woman asked, hesitantly, for she was afraid to break the spell they seemed to be under.

"Will you talk to me? About you?"

The teacher tucked a strand of auburn hair behind her ear, smiling softly, and the cellist couldn’t see it, but she could  _ feel  _ it.

"Of course, darling. What do you want to know?"

"Everything. I mean...anything you're willing to tell me. I want to know you...all of you."

_ Whatever did I do to deserve you?  _ The blue-eyed woman asked herself before quickly shaking the thought away.

"Well, I grew up here...lived in Greendale all my life except when I left to study at Yale-"

"You studied at Yale? Wow…"

"Oh come on, you went to the best music school in the world, one with a 7,6% acceptance rate."

Zelda chuckled, remembering how surprised and elated she had been when her letter had arrived all those years ago, and how Mary had seemed to be more proud of her than her parents had ever been.

"You're very well informed, Miss Wardwell..."

The brunette chuckled at her teasing tone. She gathered her thoughts, losing herself in her childhood memories before she spoke.

"My parents...they were simple, hard working people. My father worked in the mines, and my mother was an English teacher at Baxter High. She- she was everything to me."

The younger woman turned to look at her, observing the emotions on her lover's face as she listened intently to her every word.

"What was her name?"

"Eve."

"Eve named one of her daughters Lilith. I love that."

The brunette laughed lightly, having never really thought of the irony.

"I loved my father, Richard, very much, but...but I'm quite sure he wished I were a boy…"

"I'm sorry…"

The redhead said quietly as she snuggled into her lover’s side.

"It's okay."

She sighed before continuing.

"I was this funny looking girl, all lanky with big eyes and a virtual bird's nest on my head."

Zelda laughed lightly, imagining Mary as a child, and the brunette couldn't help but join her.

"I had huge glasses that were too big for my face but I didn't care. I read every book in the school library then moved on to the Greendale one, and the librarian there was my only friend, which I didn't mind...I always felt so different from the other kids my age, couldn't relate to them in any way...I only made friends at university."

"Hmm...me too. The whole town always thought we were a weird bunch, a family of eccentrics, and I suppose they weren't entirely wrong…"

She mused and Mary hummed, kissing her temple.

"I met Adam at Yale."

She felt Zelda tense slightly.

"We don't need to talk about him…"

"No...no I'd like to hear about him. He- he was an important part of your life…"

"He was...well, he was two years older than me, and studied medicine. We both went to the library every day, and it took me a few weeks to notice he would look at me. I guess he was pretty subtle or maybe I was just oblivious because no one ever paid any attention to me...I mean not in that way at least. After a while I would go to the library, always sitting in the same place, and I'd find a cup of coffee with a small note on it almost every time. One day, he finally asked me out for dinner, and I found out he was also from Greendale. I honestly wonder how we had never met before…"

She mused and paused for a few minutes as the cellist absently played with the ends of her hair.

"We got along really well and soon got together. We would spend most of our time with each other, reading and studying side by side until he graduated and moved to New York when he got an internship at a hospital there. I moved back here and got a job at Baxter High. A few months later, he came to visit me and proposed. I said yes because...because I was afraid to be alone for the rest of my life. I did love him..just- just not in the way he deserved, or in the way he loved me…"

The guilt in her voice was so obvious it made Zelda's heart clench.

_ "He was my best friend…" _

She said in a broken whisper and wiped away the stray tears that had escaped her eyes. She didn't think about him often, which she felt quite guilty for, but when she did, she found she truly missed him. She often forgot -or didn’t really realise- that they had been engaged for over twenty years when he died, and she seriously wondered how or why he had stayed with her for so long.

She placed her cristal tumbler on the coffee table and shifted to lay down with her head resting on Zelda's lap. She looked up at her, smiling weakly and a comfortable silence fell over them until she said, almost out of nowhere, and it sounded as if she had never talked about this before.

"I've struggled with depression almost my whole life…"

She almost sounded  _ ashamed,  _ and the redhead took a deep breath, realising how similar they truly were as she learned more about her.

"I think I was eleven or twelve years old, and I felt this gaping hole in my chest, that nothing could fill no matter what I tried to do...I didn't tell anyone about it for years because I felt like I needed to figure it out on my own. That was until it became so unbearable I started...self-harming."

She said, closing her eyes as if she couldn't stand to look at her lover as she spoke.

"My mother noticed when she came in the bathroom one night before I got in the shower, and- and she felt  _ helpless _ , didn't know what to do. There was no doctor around here that could help, only a therapist, who was a grumpy old man, so I refused to go and see him, and thankfully, my mother agreed."

She paused for a few moments, forcing her eyes open only to see how much compassion and concern etched the younger woman's features.

"I drowned myself in books, in music...I started writing. It eventually got better during my second year of university, but then it came back, worse than before, and I tried to...well, you already know what I tried to do…"

Zelda choked on a small sob, unable to imagine a life without Mary in it, and the brunette reached a gentle hand up to wipe away her tears.

"It got better when I started working, and music helped me a lot. I suppose it can feel almost magical...speak to one's soul…"

The cellist hummed her agreement, not wanting to interrupt her.

"Those feelings would come back every year for a while, but I got so used to it, and I suppose I just learned to cope with it."

She stopped there, and the musician patiently waited to see if she would add anything but a melancholic silence fell over them until Mary asked.

"Will you tell me about your life in New York?"

"I- yes, but…"

"You don't need to…"

"I want to. I'm just...tired. Could we do that another day?"

"Of course, my love."

"Would you play something for me? Something that means a lot to you?"

The older woman seemed to hesitate, aware that if she did, the redhead would certainly hear the heaviness and loaded emotions in the sound.

"Okay."

She said before sitting up and kissing her softly. She slowly got to her feet and went to sit at the piano, breathing deeply before she started playing Chopin's nocturne opus 9 no1 in b-flat minor. It immediately seemed like time had stopped, and Zelda was completely entranced, feeling privileged to hear this, so deeply moved tears gathered in her eyes, blurring her vision. 

The teacher poured herself another glass before she returned to sit beside her lover, and they didn't speak, because what was there to say? They sat in silence for a while, taking slow sips of the amber liquid until their glasses were empty and they placed them on the coffee table.

The brunette leaned in to kiss the younger woman on the cheek, then nibbled at her earlobe before kissing down her neck, sucking lightly at the soft porcelain skin, and the musician let out a shaky sigh, letting her eyes flutter shut. Mary's hand wandered down her chest and undid the belt of her robe, which fell open, pooling around her body. She softly caressed her thigh, and she instantly parted her legs, almost reflexively, making the teacher smirk.

_ "Mary…" _

"Yes?"

She asked innocently.

_ "Please touch me…" _

"I am touching you, my sweet girl."

"I know, b- but...not there…"

"Then tell me where you want me to touch you."

"You know where I want you...and you want it too, so stop teasing."

"I need you to tell me."

"My- my breasts…"

"Good girl."

The teacher praised and smiled, leaning down to take an already hard nipple in her mouth and rolling the other between her thumb and forefinger before pinching it,  _ hard,  _ making Zelda let out a soft moan. She slid her fingertips down, tracing the underside of her breast, the expanse of her stomach until she reached her pubic bone, and the redhead bucked her hips, slowly getting impatient.

"I've got you quite riled up, haven't I? And just from those few kisses and innocent touches…"

She mused, and the younger woman groaned quietly.  _ Innocent...sure.  _ she thought.

_ "Your kisses always make me like this…" _

"Hmm...is that so?"

"Mm-hmm... _ always. _ "

She turned to meet her lips in a passionate kiss and moaned into her mouth as she started to circle her clit in feather-light circles, before sliding a finger down, parting her folds and she hummed.

"You're so wet, my love...so ready for me…"

She mused, and Zelda stifled a moan with her fist, but Mary reached up with her free hand, removing it from her mouth.

"Don't do that, baby. Let me hear you."

She said in an almost commanding tone, and the redhead whimpered as she nodded sharply.  _ Baby? Really?  _ She thought to herself, but her clit twitched at the word. The brunette entered her with her middle finger, massaging her g-spot, making her lover squirm and moan loudly. She soon pulled out of her, removing her hand entirely, and the younger woman whined at the loss.

_ "N- no...please don't stop." _

"I'll give you what you need, darling...but you know what I want to do to you."

Zelda let out a moan that travelled through her body, vibrated against her chest bone, remembering their earlier conversation.

_ "Please…" _

Mary hummed as she kneeled before her, placing her hands on her knees and parting her legs further. The teacher inhaled the intoxicating scent of her arousal, making her dizzy with want and her cunt clench around nothing. She licked at her and fucked her with her tongue until she pushed her over the edge and soon brought her to a second orgasm, making her cry out as she came with her lover's name on her lips. The older woman didn't stop there, however, wanting to make this moment last forever, eating her out as if her life depended on it.

_ "Maaary...I- I can't…" _

_ "Shh...yes you can, my love." _

She assured, and Zelda whined, on the brink of overstimulation. Her legs started shaking around the brunette's head as she neared her climax. Her hands flew down to her head, fingers tangling in her thick dark hair, holding her there as if she might go somewhere, grinding against her face.

"Mary! F- fuck! I'm gonna-"

She couldn't end her sentence as she came with a hoarse cry, gushing into her lover's mouth, who swallowed and lapped up all her juices hungrily, moaning into her. She pulled back after a few moments, wiping her chin with the back of her hand before climbing back up and meeting her lips in a heated kiss, letting her taste herself, and Zelda moaned into her mouth. She chuckled, snuggling into her side and holding her, both smiling.

They stayed like that for a while, then played music together, talked and laughed until the sun went down. When they got too tired, yawning and stretching, they went upstairs to take a quick shower together before going to bed. 

"Mary?"

She was laying half on top of the redhead, almost drifting off already as she lovingly stroked her hair and lightly scratched her scalp, making the brunette purr at the feeling.

"Hmm?"

"Will you stay with me until your sister arrives?"

"Of course, my love. I'll just need to go get my things at the cottage tomorrow. Papers to grade…"

She explained tiredly. They soon fell into a deep slumber with a soft smile on their faces, Mary lulled to sleep by the sound of the younger woman's steady heartbeat.


	14. Chapter 14

They were laying in bed, tangled together and sleeping peacefully, until at some point in the middle of the night, Mary was awoken by Zelda whimpering softly, clearly trying to stay as quiet as possible as not to wake her up. She clung to her for dear life, and her head was resting atop the brunette’s chest, as if she were trying to make sure she was alive by focusing on her steady heartbeat. The older woman lovingly stroked her auburn locks to indicate she was there, that the cellist wasn’t alone anymore. She kissed the top of her head and rubbed her hand up and down her arm soothingly.

“What’s wrong, my love? Did you have a nightmare?”

She asked, trying her best to sound calm, but the concern in her voice was unmistakable. 

“I- I…”

She stuttered through ragged breaths.

“It’s okay….take your time.”

There was a short silence as Zelda tried to calm herself, grounded by the rise and fall of Mary’s chest.

_ “I don’t want to lose you…” _

She whispered brokenly before letting out a quiet sob, and the brunette’s heart clenched.

“You are not going to lose me, Zelda.”

She said, hoping she would sound convincing, gently stroking her hair.

_ “You dreamt that I died, didn’t you?” _

She asked weakly, but regretted her words as soon as they left her mouth, because the redhead broke down crying and buried her face in the crook of her neck upon hearing her worst fear being voiced aloud, her tears wetting the teacher’s soft skin.

_ “Shh...Don’t worry, my love. I won’t. Not for a very long time.” _

She tried to comfort her as she held her tightly, pressing loving kisses on the top of her head, but anxiety rose deep within her and had her stomach in knots, and she had to take a few deep breaths, closing her eyes. She had so many things to say, to tell her, but she held back, because all she wanted in that moment was for Zelda to get some much needed rest.  _ It’s okay. There will be time. We have time.  _ She told herself. It was impossible to tell how long it took for the cellist to calm down as she was unable to push away the images of her nightmare. She whimpered and cried until she was completely exhausted, finally falling back into a blissfully dreamless sleep. The older woman stayed awake for the rest of the night, thoughts racing so fast she started feeling dizzy and would have surely collapsed hadn’t she been laying down.

Mary was still staring at a random point in the room as the sun rose, eyes completely out of focus. She was brought back to reality as she felt her lover stir, still clutching the older woman’s nightdress. The redhead relaxed and hummed contententedly until images of her nightmare came flying back into her mind, making her face fall and a single tear roll down her cheek. She sighed and looked up into the teacher’s tired ice-blue eyes.

“You didn’t sleep, did you?”

It was a question, but it barely sounded like one. The brunette smiled weakly and gently wiped her tear away with the pad of her thumb, then leaned down to press a soft kiss to her forehead.

“No, darling, I couldn’t...but it’s okay.”

“It’s not.  _ I’m sorry…” _

Zelda whispered as she shifted to meet her lips in a kiss filled with so much longing Mary feared she might drown. The redhead rested her head on her chest again, and the brunette wanted to tell her not to apologise, but knew it would be useless, so she didn't. They stayed tangled together, neither of them ready to let go yet, until the younger woman said.

"Come on, I'll make you breakfast. If you couldn't sleep you should at least eat."

"I'm not hungry, darling."

"I know...but please? For me?"

The teacher hummed, giving in to her request and they got up, putting on their robes before making their way downstairs. Zelda made them bacon and eggs along with some toast and a strong cup of coffee. They settled down at the table, Mary cutting her food up in tiny pieces and pushing it around the plate but still forced herself to eat slowly.

"This feels quite domestic...and I'm quite surprised I like it."

The older woman smiled, placing her hand atop hers.

"I like it too…"

The redhead gave her a smile that reached her shining green eyes. She blushed slightly as she cast her eyes down before saying quietly.

"I- I still feel as if this is some kind of dream...and that I'll wake up and be back in New York, alone and utterly miserable…"

Mary hummed as she felt a tug at her heart, and squeezed her hand comfortingly.

"Well you're not dreaming my love, not anymore. This is real, so you better believe it."

She said with as much finality as she could with the slight tremor in her voice. She leaned in to kiss her softly. Then they got up, throwing the remnants of their breakfast in the trash and doing the dishes, before the cellist asked, almost out of nowhere. 

"What did you write?"

"What?"

"Yesterday you said writing helped you when you were...depressed."

"Oh...mostly poetry...bad poetry."

She said and chuckled lightly.

"I- I also wrote a lot while you were away…"

Zelda's heart clenched and she asked hesitantly, worrying this might somehow invade her lover's privacy.

"Will- would you read it to me?"

"Perhaps one day…"

The redhead nodded her understanding and they went to settle down in the parlour.

They spent the better of the morning playing music together and for each other, talking and reminiscing about their time before Zelda left for Juilliard.

"Remember how excited you were when you received your acceptance letter?"

She laughed, smiling widely as she snuggled into the brunette's side.

"I do. And I also remember how happy  _ you  _ were...I don't think anyone had ever been so proud of me, even my parents…"

She admitted sadly, and Mary wrapped her arm around her shoulders, holding her tightly, and pressed a loving kiss to her temple.

_ "I will always be proud of you...my sweet Zelda." _

The younger woman smiled at that, letting her eyes flutter shut. They watched a couple of old classic movies, the redhead completely relaxed in her lover's lap as she absently stroked her hair.

Sometime in the early afternoon, they got dressed and Mary went to fetch her things at the cottage along with some clothes. She worked and graded papers in the kitchen, with the sound of Zelda practicing in the living room, taking breaks once in a while to fully appreciate the music. When she was done a few hours later, she joined her and suggested a bit hesitantly.

"Darling...wouldn't you want to start performing again?"

The musician looked up from the score she was reading through, some sort of fear in her eyes.

"Mary...I- I haven't played in public in  _ months _ ...I don't know if I'm ready...I actually have terrible stage fright you know. It doesn't go away...even after so many years of performing."

"You perform for me...even if I understand it's different, but...you could start small, maybe play for your family and friends. There are students at Baxter High who study music and I'm sure they would be very excited to get the opportunity to hear a musician of your caliber."

Zelda smiled at that, then suggested.

"Maybe it would help if...if we played together?"

"What? No…I- I haven't played in  _ decades _ ...since my college years."

"Well...promise me you'll think about it at least."

"A- alright."

She agreed, not having the heart to say no to her. 

She read through all the books she had assigned while the redhead kept playing, occasionally growing frustrated at how boring some of the compulsory works were. 

For the next two days, the teacher went to work and came back to her lover having already prepared dinner which would make her lips curl into a bright, grateful smile.

"You know...you don't need to do this, my love."

Zelda hummed and turned around, wrapped her arms around her waist and kissed her softly, meeting her gaze when she pulled back.

"I enjoy doing it.  _ Only  _ for you, though."

Mary chuckled and they sat at the table, eating in comfortable silence until the brunette checked her watch and gasped.

"Oh my! Time flies...I need to pick up Lilith in an hour."

She said, realising she had badly planned their timing, or not at all for that matter. 

"Okay. Well, um...will I see you tomorrow?"

"I guess you could come with me? If you'd like of course…"

The younger woman smiled and kissed her on the cheek.

"Of course I would! But...are you sure she wouldn't mind?"

The older woman chuckled and squeezed her hand.

"I don't know, and I frankly don't care. I want you to meet her. She's the only family I have left...We don't really keep regular contact, but she does visit me once a year and I sometimes fly out to New York when I get tired of this place."

The cellist's face fell at that, making the brunette's brow furrow in confusion.

"You...so you came to New York...while- while I was there?"

She asked in a small voice, and the disappointment and sadness in it made the teacher's heart clench, guilt and regret washing over her.

"I- yes, I did...I'm so sorry, I thought- as I said before, I didn't think you would want to see me…"

Zelda nodded softly, not knowing what more she could say.

They had to throw away the barely touched food on their plates, not having the appetite nor the time to finish it, and the brunette was thankful it had been something simple her lover surely hadn’t spent too much time and effort making. The younger woman packed a small bag and Mary gathered her things, then they went to her car and drove straight to the airport. They held hands on the way, the teacher nervously tapping her fingers on the steering wheel, making the redhead raise an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Are you okay? You seem nervous…"

"Hmm? Oh...no, I'm alright, just hoping you two will get along."

Zelda smiled and squeezed her hand comfortingly. 

"I'm sure we will…"

She said, both to herself and the older woman, who smiled at that.

They parked in the arrival section, scanning the crowd for a head of dark hair, until they saw Lilith dragging her luggage with seemingly some difficulty. They got out of the car to greet her, seeing the brunette with large, dramatic sunglasses, wearing overalls that were stained with what looked to be splatters of paint, a striped red and white t-shirt underneath, revealing her toned arm muscles, and worn out white converse. Her long hair was down, thick, dark curls framing her angular features and tumbling down her back. Zelda almost couldn't believe how the woman looked so different from her  _ twin,  _ holding herself with such confidence it made her feel quite small. The artist was startled by them, noticing their presence at the last minute.

"Oh! Hi Mary...and...Zelda? I'm assuming?"

She asked, letting go of her luggage and dropping her bag on the ground quite unceremoniously to shake her hand. The redhead made to let go but Lilith grasped it more firmly, keeping it between both her hands. The younger woman froze, feeling as if she were shrinking under her piercing gaze, and her raspy, velvety voice sent shivers down her spine, making her forget to form any kind of reply. The artist finally pulled back after squeezing her hand one last time, and looked her up and down unashamedly. 

"My, my, sister...never thought you'd ever get yourself such a beautiful,  _ young _ thing…"

She said with a smirk, throwing a quick glance at Mary, who stared daggers at her. And was that...jealousy in her voice? Zelda wondered, but quickly shook the thought away, somewhat fascinated as she observed their exchange, which made their relationship seem to be so very different from hers and Hilda's.

"Stop that, Lilith. You're making her uncomfortable."

The cellist had never heard her use such a cold tone, quite similar to the one she sometimes used when she would snap at her sister. She stepped closer to her lover, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"It's okay, my love."

"Aww...how sweet."

The teacher threw her sister one last annoyed look but didn't comment, calmed by the feeling of the musician's warmth beside her. They stood in awkward silence while a crowd of travellers passed by them. 

"Well...shall we go?"

Zelda suggested, finally breaking the tension and the two other women nodded. They made their way to the car, the redhead taking Lilith's bag without being asked, which earned her a small, grateful smile, and she couldn't help but smile back shyly, blushing slightly. The woman had such a strong, imposing presence the musician didn't know how to act or what to do with herself around her. The artist made the younger woman sit in the front, seemingly wanting to avoid any unnecessary proximity to her sister at that moment. Mary put the radio on, having no patience for any odd comments her sister might make on the way. They soon arrived at the cottage, and the two lovers heard Lilith say, almost out of nowhere.

"Just one thing, sister...since you haven’t had a lot...well,  _ any _ guests over through the years, at least that I am aware of, so I don’t happen to know if you’re very loud, and I would prefer not to find out. So please...no screaming at 2am."

The redhead blushed furiously, understanding what she was referring to, knowing full well that if someone might be loud enough to wake her it would be herself, and was thankful the woman sitting in the back couldn't see how flustered she was. Mary just snorted in amusement.

"I see you are back on your bullshit, Lilith."


	15. Chapter 15

Zelda chuckled and bit on her lower lip upon hearing Mary swear, well...outside the bedroom, that is, and a slight blush crept up her cheeks. She heard the artist laugh wholeheartedly and saw her grin at her sister through the rearview mirror, and Mary smiled back, making the redhead’s heart warm at the exchange. They all got out of the car and the teacher went straight inside while the cellist helped Lilith with her luggage. As the brunette picked up her bag, she almost immediately dropped it and groaned, hoping the younger woman didn't notice, but of course, she did, and turned around, looking at her with concern in her bright green eyes.

"Lilith? Are you alright?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine, just back pain."

"Then get inside and I'll take care of everything."

"You don't have to-"

"I insist."

She said with great finality and Lilith sighed, giving in with a grateful smile before joining her sister inside. The musician dragged the luggage with her, then went back to pick up the bag. Mary saw the slight grimace on her sister's face as she walked in.

"Are you okay, Lily?"

She huffed in annoyance.

"You know I hate it when you call me that."

"I do, and that's precisely why I do it."

Zelda laughed lightly as she got to the kitchen before busying herself with making some tea. They sat at the table, steaming mugs in hand.

"You didn't answer my question, sister."

"Oh...I'm okay. It's only my useless back hurting again…"

Mary simply hummed and sipped on the almost burning liquid. Zelda eyed Lilith curiously, many questions running through her mind. She wanted to know more about the woman, who seemed quite mysterious, and she couldn't help but find her beautiful, observing the differences and similarities between the two sisters. The artist noticed and smirked, raising one perfect eyebrow.

"Zelda?"

The musician shook herself out of her thoughts, blushing slightly at having been caught.

"I- I'm sorry it's just...I find it so interesting...how different you both are."

"Hmm...indeed, although we are identical, technically..."

Mary laughed.

"Thank God we aren't the same!"

Lilith glared at her.

"I'm not even going to ask what you mean by that."

She said before taking a sip of her tea, relishing in the slight burn on her tongue and as it ran down her throat.

"Mary told me you're an artist?"

The younger woman asked after a few moments of silence.

"Hmm? Oh, yes."

She didn't elaborate, but Zelda kept looking at her with interest, so she added.

"I studied at the Rhode Island School of Design, thinking some formal education might be necessary, though I didn’t really learn much there...then I travelled across Europe, meeting all sorts of artists and going to every museum I could think of. I stayed in Paris for a few years then decided to settle down in New York when I turned thirty, and I have lived there ever since...guess there’s not much more to say…”

The redhead noticed the blank, almost emotionless expression on Lilith’s face as she spoke, and wondered if she had any regrets, if she thought life as an artist ended up being nothing like she had hoped, just as she sometimes did herself. 

“May I ask where you live exactly? I don’t know if Mary told you but I studied at Juilliard and stayed in the city for a few years so maybe…”

She trailed off and Lilith seemed to sense her slight discomfort so she promptly answered.

“Brooklyn for almost twenty years, then when I could afford it, I moved to Manhattan...West 69th street right by Columbus Avenue where I stayed for about...three years, I believe? But now I’ve been living in Greenwich-”

Her next words fell on deaf ears as Zelda realised how close to each other they had lived, and she was flung back to one time when she had thought her sleep-deprived brain had made her hallucinate.

_ She was walking to rehearsal after having had lunch with a group of friends in Central Park, half-paying attention to the conversation as her thoughts drifted to Mary, which they had most often done during that week, when she could have sworn she saw her walking towards her. She froze, eyes fixed on the brunette as she passed by the group of musicians. The woman gave her a curious glance, but didn’t stop. Zelda turned around, watching her walk away until she was out of sight. She almost ran after her, but Miranda, who had noticed her lagging behind, joined her and gently placed a hand on her forearm. _

_ “Zelds?” _

_ She didn’t hear her, a mix of conflicting feelings flooding her heart and mind, and the pianist waited patiently for a few moments before she gave her friend’s hand a light squeeze. The redhead turned and almost jumped back, only now noticing her presence. _

_ “What?” _

_ “What happened? You look like you’ve seen a ghost…” _

_ “Oh..nothing. I’m fine, just thought I saw...someone…” _

Lilith cleared her throat and she was pulled out of her thoughts, slightly shaken by the memory. She looked up into familiar blue eyes, though they had a streak of silver and a slight coldness to them that almost made her look away.

“It was you, wasn’t it?”

She asked, making the two brunettes frown in confusion. Mary placed a hand atop hers, and Zelda turned to look at her with wide eyes. Her attention was brought back to the other woman when she spoke.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, sorry...years ago, I thought I saw Mary in New York...and I dismissed it as some figment of my imagination, wishful thinking...but now I- I wonder if it might have been you.”

“Hmm...perhaps. When was the last time you visited me, sister?”

“Two years ago, I believe.”

“Well, I suppose it must have been me then, dear.”

The musician nodded, though she had grown even paler, making the teacher’s eyes fill with concern. She gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, as if she needed to bring her back from some far-away place.

“Are you okay, my love?”

“Yes. Yes, I just...I try not to think about that time…”

She said, doing her best to compose herself, and Mary smiled sadly. They drank their tea in silence after that until Zelda suggested.

“I should probably prepare something for dinner...”

“That would be nice, but I won’t let you do all the work, darling.”

The redhead smiled at her lover and they got up, leaving Lilith at the table, who absently flicked through the day’s newspaper to distract herself. Zelda chopped up an onion as Mary went to take three salmon fillets out of the fridge and placed them in a dish along with some saffron and cream. The younger woman threw in the cut-up vegetable before putting it all in the oven. The teacher put on some basmati rice before they both sat back down at the table, and they played cards until dinner was ready while engaging in mindless chatter. 

They ate in relative silence, until the redhead noticed Lilith was cutting up the fish in tiny pieces, pushing the sauce away from everything, taking small, slow bites, as if someone were holding her at gunpoint and forcing her to eat.

“Lilith? A- are you okay?”

She asked hesitantly, feeling extremely awkward for some reason.

“Hmm? Oh, yes, perfectly fine. This is delicious, thank you.”

She answered with a small smile, which the cellist returned, though unconvinced. 

When they were done, Mary did the dishes and suggested the other two move to the living room. 

“I sure could use a stiff drink right now.”

The artist said through a heavy sigh before slowly getting up from her chair. Her words intrigued Zelda, but she went to pour them some drinks all the same, and heard Lilith let out a small groan behind her, clearly one of pain. She turned around and saw the grimace on the brunette’s face, who now sat in an armchair.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Just my back. Osteoporosis. Can’t be helped.”

She explained flatly, and the redhead raised an eyebrow in surprise as she handed a tumbler of whiskey to the older woman, who nodded gratefully and took an appreciative sip. The cellist sat down on the couch and made herself comfortable, tucking her legs beneath herself.

“Aren’t you too young for that?”

The artist let out a humourless chuckle.

“I wouldn’t say fifty-eight is exactly young, Zelda, but-"

She cut herself off when the younger woman’s eyes widened, and then saw a strange expression on her sister's face as she walked in.

"Oh dear...you haven't even told her your age yet, have you?"

Mary swallowed and went straight to the liquor cabinet, poured herself a generous glass of whiskey before downing it in one gulp. The younger woman followed her every move as she poured herself another and came to sit beside her.

"Zelda...I-"

She was surprised when the younger woman took her hand and smiled at her, green eyes filled with pure love.

"Mary, you need to know I  _ don't care  _ about that. It's just...well, you do look much younger…"

"We sure do."

Lilith interjected with a small laugh, sighing in relief after having been afraid she'd said too much. The teacher also let out a sigh of relief and squeezed her lover’s hand, refraining from kissing her in front of her sister even if she knew she wouldn’t care. Zelda snuggled into her side, resting her head on her shoulder and listening intently as the two brunettes reminisced about the past, laughing at some of their childhood memories. 

“Remember when you were accidentally locked inside the school library for almost a whole night because you were so absorbed in your reading you forgot to leave in time, and mother almost called the police? God, you were such a nerd! ”

Lilith teased, laughing.

“Oh yes, and I still am...I believe I was around eight years old. No one would even let their child out alone today. How times have changed…”

She mused and her sister hummed in agreement. They talked for what must have been hours, and Zelda interjected once in a while to ask questions, until she was almost lulled to sleep to the sound of their beautiful voices. Mary felt her lover’s warm body leaning heavily against her, and she pressed a kiss on the top of her head, softly caressing her cheek.

“Zelds...wake up, darling...we should go to bed, it’s getting late.”

The redhead slowly opened her eyes, stretching and yawning.

“Hmm...I’d like that.”

She said, feeling her eyes growing heavy again. She made her way upstairs to wipe the makeup off her face and change into a nightdress as Mary carried her sister's bags to the guest room, placing them at the foot of the bed.

“Here you are. You know where everything is if you need anything.”

Lilith hummed and nodded gratefully. The teacher lingered by the door, making her raise an eyebrow.

“I know I don’t say this enough...but I love you, Lilith.”

She was taken aback, speechless for a few seconds, then walked the few steps separating them and wrapped her arms around her sister in a tight hug.

_ “I love you too, Mary bear.” _

She sighed and kissed her on the cheek as she pulled back.

“Goodnight, sister.”

Mary said with a small, tired smile.

“Goodnight, Mary.”

The teacher turned around, leaving the room and clicking the door shut behind her before joining Zelda. She found her curled up underneath the covers, already sound asleep and she smiled at the sight. She quickly changed and went to lay behind her, gently placing an arm around her waist. Her breathing soon slowed down and she drifted off, comforted by her lover’s familiar scent.

The cellist woke up sometime after 2am with a faint throbbing between her legs, cursing her body’s response to a strange wet dream she’d just had. She squirmed slightly in discomfort for a while, extremely aware of the brunette’s slow breaths against her neck. She tried to will the feeling away, but to no avail, and sighed in frustration. She gave in and slowly reached a hand between her thighs, finding an embarrassing slickness there, gasping as her fingers grazed her clit. She felt her lover stir behind her and froze, growing increasingly anxious, waiting with bated breath to see if she had awoken, but sighed in relief when her body stilled. She tentatively rubbed herself, letting out an involuntary whine, and she felt Mary move again.  _ Stop. You can wait. You’re not some desperate slut who will masturbate while she’s sleeping next to you and her sister is in the adjacent room.  _ The brunette placed a soft kiss to her neck and gently took hold of her wrist, moving her hand away.  _ That’s it. She’ll stop you and get angry.  _ She thought, but was surprised when her lover replaced her hand with her own and started touching her lazily, drawing slow circles around her clit and she whimpered quietly.

_ “I- I’m so sorry…” _

She breathed out, her chest already heaving.

_ “Shh...it’s okay, my love, you’re allowed. You can come.” _

Mary whispered in her ear before suckling on the pale skin of her neck and entering her with two fingers, the heel of her hand pressing against her bundle of nerves in  _ just the right way  _ despite the slightly awkward angle. Zelda let out a soft moan and buried her face in the pillow to silence herself, feeling a tear roll down her cheek at how gentle the older woman was, melting under her loving touch, the almost suffocating anxiety that gripped her chest only moments earlier leaving her body. She soon tensed and came with a silent cry. Mary withdrew her hand when she relaxed and licked the evidence of the redhead’s pleasure off her fingers, humming at the taste. She placed a soft kiss to her lover’s bare shoulder, then Zelda turned around to kiss her, sighing against her lips.

_ “Thank you.” _

The teacher smiled tiredly, tucking a strand of copper hair behind the younger woman’s ear.

_ “Anything for you. I love you. Sleep now.” _

The musician sighed, tucking her head underneath the older woman’s chin and burying her face in her chest, placing a kiss between her breasts.

_ “I love you more.” _


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for eating disorders

The next morning, they woke up a couple of hours after the sun had risen, feeling well rested. It was a different story for Lilith, however, who had tossed and turned all night, desperately trying and failing to find a comfortable position. She had fallen asleep at the crack of dawn, and awoke only a few hours later, letting her eyes flutter open, getting used to the morning light, and sighed heavily. She laid completely still for a few minutes before pushing herself up with a low groan and dragging herself to the bathroom. She took a hot shower that thankfully relieved some of the ache in her bones. She got out, drying and dressing in slow, careful movements. She was sick of this, of this frail body that was already starting to betray her, but she couldn’t do anything about it. _It’s too late anyway, and it’s all my own fault._ She thought, defeated.

She heard faint voices coming from downstairs, signaling the two other women were already in the kitchen and probably busy with preparing breakfast. As she slowly padded down the stairs, the mere smell of bacon was enough to make bile rise in her throat, but she successfully pushed the feeling away and forced a smile on her face as she joined them.

“Morning.”

“Good morning, sister. Slept well?”

Mary asked through a smile and Zelda looked up at her, a mug of steaming coffee in her hands, smiling as well.

“Perfectly well, thank you.”

She lied, though convincingly enough, before she went to pour herself a cup of black coffee. Her sister threw her a worried glance and asked quietly.

“Nothing to eat?”

“No, I’m good.”

She replied flatly and made to turn around, but the teacher gently took hold of her arm, looked back to check on Zelda, and after seeing she was busy reading the newspaper, she whispered, with far more emotion than either of them had expected.

_“Please tell me it’s not getting bad again…”_

Lilith huffed and rolled her eyes at her, though realising how much her sister worried about her made her heart clench.

_“Stop worrying, Mary. I’m fine.”_

The other woman sighed in defeat, unconvinced, but she let go of her arm and the artist went to take a seat at the table.

“Anything interesting?”

She asked, and the redhead looked up from the paper with a bored expression on her face.

“I’m afraid not. I mean..it’s not like anything really exciting often happens in this town anyway. But I actually quite like that…the quiet and peacefulness.”

Lilith hummed and took a sip of her coffee, relishing in the bitterness of it. Mary placed a plate of bacon, eggs and toast in front of her lover, and one for herself. They ate in silence, and when they were done, the musician noticed the artist nervously tapping her fingers on the table in a way she immediately recognised.

“You can smoke, Lilith. I don’t mind, I’m a smoker myself.”

She said, and the brunette frowned in surprise but then smiled, pulling her pack out of her pocket and offering a cigarette to the younger woman.

“Thank you.”

They each took a deep drag, feeling the nicotine slowly entering their bloodstream. Mary just looked at them, smiling, incredibly happy about having the two people she loved most with her.

“Any plans for today, Zelda?”

Lilith asked after blowing a steady stream of smoke through slightly parted, blood-red lips.

“I asked Hilda to call me when she and Edward get home, so I’ll join them when she does, but other than that, nothing.”

“They’re your sister and brother, correct?”

“Exactly.”

“And you, sister?”

“Nothing special. I’m just happy I don’t have any classes to teach on Wednesdays...provides a nice break in the middle of the week. You?”

“Nothing for today, so I thought we could spend some time together, catch up. I missed you…”

Mary hummed and smiled at her. Zelda was startled out of her thoughts when she heard her phone ring. She went to fetch it out of her handbag in the living room.

_“Zelds? We’re back! I know we’re early but I- wait...where are you?”_

The redhead smiled upon hearing her little sister’s voice, realising she had already missed her.

“At Mary’s…”

She said, turning to look in her lover’s direction, blushing slightly, and she heard the blonde gasp at the other end of the line.

_“Dare I ask?”_

“We- we’re together, Hildie…”

She said, a few tears rolling down her cheeks, realising she’d never felt so happy in her life.

_“Oh! That’s marvelous, Zelds! I- I’m so happy for you. Will you tell her I said hi?”_

Her voice was purely sincere, and Zelda sighed in relief at the knowledge her sister approved, though she certainly wasn’t the one she worried about...

“Of course. I’ll be there in about an hour, sister.”

_“Perfect! Can’t wait to see you!”_

The redhead heard her say before the younger Spellman hung up the phone. She walked back to the kitchen, a small smile still playing on her lips.

“Hilda says hi.”

"Oh! How nice! She was such a kind student, always asking how I was doing...haven't seen her since she graduated though. What does she do?"

"She's first viola in the Columbus Symphony Orchestra, and Edward is second chair violin, but it seems there is a great chance he might become first violin solo next year."

Mary smiled widely, but her face fell and her bright blue eyes filled with concern when she noticed her lover's tear-stained cheeks as she approached the table.

"What happened, darling?"

Zelda sniffled lightly and wiped away her tears, suddenly feeling embarrassed. 

"It's just-"

"It's okay. Come here. Talk to me."

The redhead smiled, went to sit on her lap, and the teacher wrapped her arms around her waist to hold her steady, resting her hands on her lower back and looking up at her expectantly.

"I told her...about us. And- and I'm so glad she...well, approved. Even if I didn't really worry about how _she_ would react, I'm quite...relieved."

Mary smiled and saw more tears escaping her lover's eyes, so she kept looking at her to see if she might add something.

"I'm _happy_ , Mary...and I can't remember ever feeling this way…"

The brunette leaned up to kiss away her tears and lightly squeezed her hip.

_"I'm happy too, Zelda."_

She whispered the words, as if they were meant to only be heard by the redhead, who leaned down to kiss her softly, and Lilith smiled, having never seen her sister like this. They talked for a while, jumping from art and music to history and philosophy.

"I should go…"

The musician said, already sounding almost sad at the prospect of leaving the cottage.

"Alright. Will you come back tonight?"

"Probably...I can't stand being away from you anymore…"

The artist took a sip of her coffee, still smiling, and Mary released her lover, who went to fetch her handbag and left, though not without shouting first, like an important afterthought. 

"I love you!"

The teacher smiled widely as they heard the door shut, and she raised an eyebrow upon noticing her sister was staring at her.

"What?"

"Nothing...I'm just happy for you."

Mary reached out and squeezed her hand.

"I'm so sorry about what happened to you...with…"

She couldn't even utter the name of the vile man who had very nearly brought her sister to her doom, broken her down to the point she had almost entirely given up.

"But maybe there could still be-"

"No, sister. I've given up on love long ago…"

The teacher nodded, a sad expression on her face, but knew it would be no use to continue that conversation, so she suggested instead.

"How about a game of chess?"

Lilith smirked, her face lighting up in a way that made Mary smile.

"Of course. If you want to be crushed again…"

The other woman rolled her eyes quite dramatically as she snatched her second cigarette from the artist's fingers, who huffed in annoyance at the gesture. The teacher took a long, slow drag before crushing it in the ashtray she had taken out for her lover.

"It's not always about winning, sister."

Lilith rolled her eyes as a reply but nodded nonetheless before getting up to find the chessboard that was placed on a table in a corner of the living room and set it down on the coffee table. Mary brought them fresh mugs of coffee and her sister smiled gratefully as she sat down opposite her. They made their first few moves, and the artist soon noticed how the other woman looked distracted, making reckless mistakes she normally wouldn't. She didn't make a move when it was her turn, and the teacher looked up at her, brow furrowed in confusion. 

"What is it?"

Lilith sighed before saying.

"You're scared, Mary bear."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Oh come on...I'm your sister, I can read you like an open book. You're scared of what will happen to her when you- when you..."

She couldn't bring herself to say the word, all her earlier confidence vanishing, so Mary finished for her.

"When I _die._..of course I'm scared. _I'm_ _terrified, Lily…"_

She whispered so faintly her words were barely audible, and the artist's heart clenched at how broken she looked at the mere thought of that. Lilith was so affected she didn't even mind the nickname at all anymore.

"Come here."

She requested, patting the place beside her, and the teacher slowly got up and joined her on the couch, leaning against her sister and resting her head on her shoulder in a way she almost never did. The artist could feel the sadness emanating from her, and it was overwhelming even for her, so she couldn't even imagine what it felt like for Mary.

"She will be okay. It will be hard, but she will be okay, eventually."

She tried to sound sure of herself, hoping her voice had enough conviction in it, and held her sister tightly against her side as she trembled slightly.

"But she- but she already tried to...she tried to...in New York...and- and what if it was my fault? Not just the depression…"

She let the words tumble out of her through ragged breaths, feeling guilty for revealing things about the redhead she might want to keep between the two of them, but she trusted her sister enough to know it would just stay between them too now. Lilith understood what she meant immediately and sighed heavily. The two lovers were so similar, in a way, and even in the short time she had spent with the younger woman, she could tell how fragile she seemed to be, and yet so strong in her own right.

"What do you mean _your fault?_ There's no way that could be true. I'm sure Zelda would agree with me."

Mary hummed, forcing herself to believe her sister's words.

"Lilith...before she left for college, she came to see me, and she was so _heartbroken_. I thought she'd never get over it...and maybe she never did. She hasn't told me much about her life while she was away yet but I…"

The artist lovingly kissed the top of her head, a gesture she hoped would be at least at little comforting, and she heard Mary let out a shaky breath.

"What if she...tries to _follow me?_ "

Lilith's heart sank at that, her head spinning as she thought of something. She couldn't let anything happen to her sister's true love.

"I won't let her."

The teacher shifted to look into her eyes, frowning slightly.

"What?"

"I- I won't let her...kill herself…"

She said quite bluntly, and Mary flinched but she'd always appreciated her sister's straightforwardness, so she quickly composed herself, taking a deep, calming breath.

"If you die before me, I will take care of her. I promise."

Lilith said with a weak smile gracing her lips, and tears flowed down the teacher's cheeks as she looked up at her sister with shiny eyes full of emotion, her lower lip trembling of its own accord. 

_"You- you would really do that?"_

"Yes, I would, and I will. I can see how much you love her, and how much she loves you. I've never seen you look at _anyone_ like _that,_ Mary."

The teacher choked on a sob, falling into her sister's lap as all strength left her body, and she clung to her middle to anchor herself.

_"Thank you, Lily. Thank you…"_

A single tear rolled down the artist's cheek as she started to soothingly stroke Mary's hair.

"Shh...don't. I would do anything for you. You- you're all I have, and I couldn't ask for more. _I love you, Mary bear."_

The teacher whimpered softly before she turned around onto her back to look at her, reaching a hand up to gently wipe the tear off her cheekbone.

_"I love you too."_

They smiled at each other, and Lilith leaned down to press a loving kiss to her forehead, sealing her promise, and Mary let her eyes flutter shut.

"Do you want to watch a movie? Or we could do something else? Enough tears for today, sister."

The teacher chuckled and slowly sat up, shifting beside her sister and tucking her legs beneath herself.

"A movie sounds nice, and I could use the distraction...Choose whatever you want."

"How about...Carnival of souls? I'm certain you must still have it somewhere…"

Mary smiled. They shared a love of horror movies, and would do marathons on the weekends when they were children.

"Of course I do."

She said before getting up to fetch the VHS tape and inserting it in the player. She returned to sit at sister's side, close enough to feel the comforting warmth of her body. They watched the whole movie in silence, Mary jumping from time to time even if they'd seen it a dozen times, making Lilith laugh or snort, and the teacher would glare at her, pretending to be offended, which would only make her laugh harder. Towards the end, Lilith groaned, usually avoiding to stay in the same position for more than an hour, and mumbled under her breath.

_"Fuck."_

Mary turned to look at her, her features etched with concern, and she moved her sister's hair out of her face.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm just so _sick_ of this shit."

She understood what she was referring to, and asked.

"Is there anything you can do to help with the pain?"

The artist sighed heavily.

"I started taking oestrogen after I went through menopause as that makes you lose bone density, which obviously doesn't help with my problem. I try to at least take a walk every day because exercise is supposed to help, and I do my best to eat enough but...well, you know. I also take supplements and sometimes hot showers help ease the pain in my bones, but that doesn't last long…"

Mary hummed, then suggested.

"Why don't we take a walk? Some fresh air would both do us good, and then I can make a light lunch."

"O- okay. Yes, I think that's a good idea. Let me just go up and change into something more comfortable."

Lilith said before slowly getting up, wondering why the Hell she'd chosen to wear tight jeans and a fitted blouse for a day she probably wouldn't go anywhere special. Mary followed her upstairs to fetch a light coat, and when her sister didn't show up in the hallway after a while, she went to softly knock on her bedroom door.

"You can come in, Mary."

The teacher pushed open the door and gasped at the sight before her. Lilith had her back to her, bent over to pull a pair of loosely hanging leggings up her almost scarily slender legs. The teacher could see every one of her ribs, her shoulder blades and vertebrae protruding out of her back, her hip forming a sharp angle where there used to be a slight curve when she was in different periods of recovery. As she slightly turned to face her with a weak smile, she noticed her cheeks were sunken in, and one could have mistaken that for the sharp cheekbones they both had, and Mary supposed she had skillfully masked the angles and contrasts with makeup. She wondered how or why she hadn't noticed her physical state earlier, but guessed she must have been wearing many layers of clothes when she hugged her the night before, and her overalls were loose enough to hide how thin she was.

_"Lilith…"_

She breathed out, slowly approaching her to hand her the shirt she had laid out on the bed. Her sister took it gratefully and sighed, her features contorted in guilt and shame.

"Please don't. I already know how horrendous I look…"

"You don't...it's just, I-"

_How much do you even weigh, for Heaven's sake._ She wondered, but didn't dare ask, though her sister seemed to have read her thoughts.

"I don't even know, sister...I decided to stop weighing myself almost a decade ago."

"Okay...I- I suppose that's a good thing, but...do you still see your therapist?"

"No. Talking to a random person who listens just because it's their job and they're paid to do it never helped, and it's not like I could ever truly recover from...this."

She said tiredly, vaguely gesturing at her body.

"But you managed before...I'm sure it's not too late."

She waited for her to speak, and Lilith couldn't stand the look in her sister's eyes, which bordered on pity, so she turned away, pretending to busy herself with getting dressed. 

"It doesn't matter. At least I've managed to get rid of all the...you know, the thought patterns. But when it comes to the physical part of the problem...I can gain however much weight I want, and I want to, I really do, because being like this feels...horrible, but I'll inevitably lose it all again without even trying to. It's as if this wretched body of mine simply refuses to cooperate anymore, regardless of how much effort I put into it...and it's never enough! _I'm so tired, Mary…"_

She whispered the last words faintly, and she sounded so exhausted the teacher's heart broke.

"Please let me take care of you, Lily...Whatever I can do, tell me, and I'll do it."

"Can I stay? I mean...just for a bit longer than planned?"

"Of course. You can stay for as long as you want to."

She said with a small smile, and Lilith smiled back before letting herself fall onto the bed with a sharp sigh. Mary sat beside her and lightly squeezed her cold hand.

"Do you still want to go out?"

"What? Oh, yes. Yes, of course."

They got to their feet, went downstairs to put their shoes on before making their way outside, walking arm in arm. They went to the forest in comfortable silence as they appreciated the fresh air of the late morning; autumn was approaching, and it was their favourite season. Lilith walked fast, and Mary gently tugged on her arm.

"Slow down, Lily."

"Hmm...sorry. Habits."

The artist slowed down, looking down at their feet, seemingly hypnotized by the movement of their synchronised steps. They came to a clearing and sat beside each other on a rock that seemed to have been there since the beginning of time, the same where they would go to when they wanted to escape the house as children when their parents would fight. Lilith shivered, and her sister automatically wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close against her side.

"Mary...I- when we were in high school...if I was too...mean, and cold...I-"

"You were..."

Lilith winced slightly, feeling waves of guilt wash over her.

"No, I know I was. And I'm sorry…"

"It's okay. I forgive you."

"I can't forgive myself though."

The teacher sighed and gave her a small smile.

"I only...I was hurt when you never came to my defense when your friends would...tease me all the time…"

"I know. I was just- I was trying to fit in, but I realise it was useless, and I think...I think it was also because I was jealous of you…"

She admitted, and Mary's eyes widened in surprise.

" _You_ were jealous of _me?"_

"Yes. I always wished I could be more like you...not care about what others thought of me."

Her sister hummed.

"I understand...I guess it was a defense mechanism for me, in a way...and eventually I truly stopped caring. I- I was jealous of you as well..."

"What? Why?"

She seemed genuinely surprised and it made the teacher chuckle, as if it should have been obvious.

"You were basically the queen of our school. Everyone wanted to be you, and all the boys and girls wanted you, almost worshiped the ground you walked on. I didn't necessarily crave that much attention, but you know...something…"

"Oh…"

Mary smiled and squeezed her lightly, waiting as her sister seemed to hesitate to say what she was thinking.

"There's something else, but...it- it's so stupid…"

"I'm sure it's not. You can tell me."

"I- I hid it from you, and from mom too...but I stopped eating at some point after we turned thirteen…"

Mary's heart sank, and she held her more tightly. When Lilith turned to face her, eyes filled with embarrassment, it left her at a loss for words.

"You...were smaller than me...and I know this is completely irrational, but I believed that if I could look like you then I could be...I don't know, stronger? As independent as you in a way I think I never was…"

"You're probably the strongest woman I know, and independence is useful up until a certain point…"

She mused, and Lilith understood the true meaning behind her words.

"But how did you manage to hide such a thing?"

The artist hadn't anticipated the question and sighed heavily before answering.

"Well, I- I would throw away most of the food. Looking back I'm actually quite surprised that mother and father didn't notice...and sometimes when I felt forced to eat I would just...just _get rid of it…_ "

A single tear rolled down Mary's cheek at the thought of her sister having hurt herself in these ways at such a young age, feeling terribly guilty for not having paid more attention to her behaviour, too wrapped up in her own head and her own problems.

_"I'm so sorry…_ "

She whispered weakly, and Lilith turned to look at her, taken aback by her teary eyes and crestfallen expression.

"Whatever for?"

"I'm sorry that- that you felt the need to hurt yourself like that...and I'm sorry for not noticing. I- I could have helped you…"

There was a short silence as Lilith thought of words that could comfort her sister.

"I'm honestly not sure you could have. Being a stubborn and irrational teenager is a disease."

They laughed at her turn of phrase, lightening the mood.

"I was stupid."

"What you did or how you felt isn't stupid. But you sure could be stupid...and you still are, sometimes…"

Lilith gasped in mock offense and pulled back slightly before playfully swatting her arm.

"Mary Wardwell! How dare you?"

The teacher snorted and nudged her, smiling. A small gust of wind hit them and Mary sighed, but the artist trembled slightly.

"Come on. We should head back, and your lips are almost turning blue, you need to eat something."

"Ugh...fine…"

Lilith agreed, sounding almost like a petulant child, though she showed no sign of resistance as Mary stood up and pulled her to her feet.

The teacher didn't try to slow her down on the way back as she thought she was merely trying to keep herself warm. As they reached the edge of the woods, Lilith asked with a smirk.

"Race you to the door?"

"What? Seriously?"

"Oh I'm dead serious. See ya loser!"

She exclaimed before bolting towards the cottage. Mary chuckled and ran after her, though unable to catch up as she had gotten a head start. When she reached the door, she saw Lilith leaning heavily against the stone wall, panting. She gave her her arm for support as they went inside. They discarded their coats and shoes at the entrance, and the teacher led her to the kitchen, holding her by the waist before sitting her down on a chair. She busied herself with making lunch; a mixed salad with grilled chicken breast. Lilith sat back with her eyes shut, and opened them when her sister set two plates on the table.

_"Thank you."_

She whispered with a small smile before taking a bite. They ate in silence until Mary asked.

"Do you still sing?"

"Hmm? Oh...yeah, I do."

"What kind of repertoire?"

"You know...Bach, Vivaldi...some Purcell every now and then…"

The teacher snorted and Lilith's eyes widened.

"Nerd…"

"Whatever. I guess it's a genetic trait."

They chuckled and Mary went to put the dishes in the sink before making some tea. The artist went to sit at the piano, absently running her fingertips across the keyboard. Her sister joined her, placing her hands on her shoulders.

"Want us to play something?"

"Sure."

Mary pulled out a familiar score from the nearby bookshelf and Lilith smiled when she saw what it was. She stood up and the teacher played some chords for her sister to listen to the familiar key, and she took a deep breath.

_ Thy hand, Belinda, darkness shades me, _

_ On thy bosom let me rest, _

_ More I would, but Death invades me; _

_ Death is now a welcome guest. _

_When I am laid, am laid in earth, may my wrongs create_

_No trouble, no trouble in, in thy breast_

_When I am laid, am laid in earth, may my wrongs create_

_No trouble, no trouble in, in thy breast_

_Remember me, remember me, but ah_

_Forget my fate_

_Remember me, but ah_

_Forget my fate_

_Remember me, remember me, but ah_

_Forget my fate_

_Remember me, but ah_

_Forget my fate_

Mary played through the closing bars, a few tears rolling down their cheeks. When she was done, they stayed in silence for a few moments, suspended in time. They smiled at each other and the teacher said.

"Your voice has changed."

Lilith chuckled as she turned to go settle down on the couch and her sister joined her.

"I suppose that _with age comes wisdom."_

Mary laughed lightly and nodded in agreement. That sat there for most of the afternoon, talking about anything that came to their minds. As the sun started to go down, Lilith went to the bathroom, and when she came back, she almost fell to the floor, but her sister rushed forward to catch her in time. She lowered herself onto the carpet, holding her sister in her arms.

_"Lily…"_

She breathed out, starting to panic as she noticed she had lost consciousness. She carefully laid her down on her back and went to fetch a glass of water and a banana before going back to her. Lilith's eyes slowly opened and closed as she tried to speak.

_"What- what happened?"_

She finally whispered after a few minutes.

"You fainted…"

"Oh…"

"Here. Eat this."

She said and placed an arm around her upper back to help her sit up. She reeled the fruit and gave it to her. The artist ate slowly and then the teacher handed her the glass of water. Lilith took a few grateful sips and sighed.

"Do you think you can stand?"

The artist nodded weakly and Mary stood up before taking her hand and pulling her up to her feet. They went back to the couch, and Lilith soon laid down with her head on her sister's lap, lulled to sleep to the feeling of her sister gently running her fingers through her hair.

About a half hour later, Zelda was outside the door, taking a final drag of her cigarette before crushing it under her heel and letting herself in.

"Mary?"

She heard a low hum and walked to the couch, her eyes filling with slight concern when she took in the scene.

"What happened?"

"She fainted…"

The teacher explained weakly, and the redhead went to kneel before them, scanning Lilith's pale face.

"And she- she hasn't woken up yet?"

"She did quite quickly, thank God. I gave her a banana and some water, but she fell asleep almost immediately when we got to the couch…"

The cellist nodded and smiled sadly before taking her lover's hand, drawing soothing circles on the back of it with her thumb.

"Can I do anything?"

"I umm...could you make us some tea? She's a light sleeper and I'd really hate to wake her up. I think she can't get enough rest at night."

"Of course."

She stood and went to the kitchen to put the kettle on, and soon returned holding a tray with a pot of tea and three cups, setting it down on the coffee table.

"Thank you, my love."

The musician hummed and carefully lifted Lilith's legs before sitting down, placing them across her lap. Mary looked surprised but smiled at her. A few moments later, the artist's eyes fluttered open and she groaned. She frowned as she saw the redhead at her feet.

"Zelda?"

She hummed and Lilith looked from her to her sister, saying to the both of them.

"I'm sorry…"

"There's nothing to apologise for. I'm just happy you're okay…"

The younger woman admitted and Lilith gave her a small smile.

"Do you want something for dinner, sister?"

Mary asked, and the artist slowly shook her head.

"I'm tired. I'd rather go to bed…"

Her sister nodded in understanding, though quite reluctantly. She looked to Zelda almost pleadingly.

"Will you help me carry her up the stairs?"

Lilith huffed.

"I'm not an invalid, Mary."

"Of course you aren't, but I won't have you passing out on me again."

The worry in her voice made the artist give in, observing Zelda's face for any sign of discomfort and sighed when she found none. The lovers extricated themselves off the couch and picked her up carefully, easily carrying her upstairs. They slowly laid her down on the bed and Mary silently asked the musician to leave the room. She undressed her sister and handed her a nightdress. Lilith took it gratefully and slipped it on.

"I'm sorry for being a burden…"

The teacher's heart clenched and she quickly replied.

"Stop doing that. You're not. Sleep now."

She leaned down to press a soft kiss to her forehead and Lilith let her eyes flutter shut.

_"Thank you, Mary bear."_

She whispered, her voice already thick with sleep.

_"Anything for you…"_

Her sister whispered back before padding to the door and quietly clicking it shut behind her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for mentions of weight and disordered eating
> 
> Links to mentioned pieces of music:
> 
> Händel/Halvorsen Passacaglia: https://youtu.be/JSghX91xdPc?t=42
> 
> Ravel sonata for violin and cello: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zatq5ndHw-c

They woke up at the crack of dawn as the first rays of sun started filtering through the curtains, still tangled together. Zelda's eyes fluttered open and she softly kissed the underline of her lover's jaw before Mary looked down at her, ice-blue eyes meeting tired green ones.

"Good morning, my love."

_ "Mmh...morning." _

The redhead mumbled, her face buried in the crook of the teacher's neck.

"I need to get ready, darling."

Mary said as she stroked her mussed hair, and the musician groaned.

_ "Five more minutes." _

She whispered, unwilling to let go of her just yet. 

"Alright..."

The older woman agreed through a chuckle, unable to say no. About ten minutes later, she carefully extricated herself from Zelda's embrace to avoid waking her as she'd fallen back asleep. As she slid out of bed, the redhead blindly reached out for her in her unconscious state, a small smile on her face as she hugged her lover's pillow, and Mary melted at the sight, watching her for a minute before making her way to the bathroom. She quickly got dressed, put on her usual light makeup and pinned her hair in a loose bun at the nape of her neck. She sighed, satisfied, and walked out into the hallway to go downstairs, but found Lilith standing there, seeming to have waited for her to wake up, her hair a tangled mess of curls and still wearing her loose-fitting pyjamas.

"Are you okay, Lily? Did you manage to sleep through the night?"

She asked quite worriedly, and her sister fought the urge to roll her eyes at her fussing, but was secretly thankful nonetheless.

"Oh, yes. I was so exhausted after yesterday I virtually passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow and didn't even wake up once."

Mary smiled in relief.

"I'm glad...do you- did you need something?"

Lilith looked down at her hands, wringing them nervously, and paused for a moment before asking hesitantly in an almost whisper, as if ashamed.

_ "Do you...have a scale?" _

The teacher's expression faltered as she weighed her options.

"I must have one somewhere, but...are you sure it's a good idea-"

"Don't worry. I just need to know how bad it is."

She interrupted, hoping to sound reassuring as she placed a hand on her sister's shoulder, squeezing it lightly, and gave her a small smile. Mary nodded and silently went back to her bathroom to retrieve the wretched thing from under the chest drawer. She joined the artist in her room, finding her slowly undressing herself, and placed the scale on the floor beside her before going to sit on the edge of the bed. Lilith took a deep breath and stepped on it, sighing heavily as the number appeared and the teacher saw her face fall.

_ "Fuck!" _

She hissed, and angrily kicked the offending thing, ignoring the shot of pain in her ankle. 

"Lily, calm down…"

The artist turned around and stared daggers at her, shivering slightly, and Mary flinched.

"No, Mary! I won't calm down! It-  _ It's even worse than I thought…" _

She breathed out shakily, utterly defeated. 

"But surely it...how much?"

"Eighty-nine! That's barely more than when I was at my  _ worst. _ "

She spat, and the teacher sat speechless for a moment, unsure of what she could say without upsetting her sister any further. Then she suggested tentatively, the only thing she could think of at that moment.

"Then perhaps you should...stay at the hospital for a while-"

"No! I'm not going back there! Ever!  _ Please don't make me…" _

She sounded so desperate, tears welling up in her eyes, and Mary's heart broke. The artist quickly wrapped herself in a fluffy robe, one so unlike the ones she would usually wear, and went to plop herself down next to her sister who instantly pulled her into her arms, because there was nothing else she could really do. A few tears rolled down Lilith's cheeks as she sniffled quietly, obviously trying to hold back. Mary gently stroked her hair in an effort to soothe her, carefully running her fingers through the tangled curls to undo the knots.

_ "Okay, okay...We will find a way. You'll get better. I promise." _

She whispered, regretting her words as she remembered how horrible Lilith's few months as an inpatient had been when she was in her late teens. The artist nodded softly, forcing herself to believe her, and started frantically wiping away her tears and rubbing at her nose. Mary reached up to stop her harsh movements, and took her hand in hers, letting them rest on her lap.

"We'll talk later, Lily, but I can't be late for work…"

She admitted sadly, and Lilith gave her a weak smile, not trusting her voice yet.

"Come. I'll make us some breakfast."

Her sister quickly changed into a pair of leggings and a sweater before following her downstairs without much protest. Mary put on a pot of coffee, then went to the stove to cook some oatmeal, serving it in two bowls and adding sliced banana with a mix of nuts and seeds on top. She placed a carton of milk and a pot of honey on the table along with two mugs of steaming black coffee, giving a larger bowl to Lilith, who immediately noticed but thankfully didn't complain. They ate mostly in silence, then Mary quickly gathered her things before running to her car and driving to Baxter High. 

The artist sighed and picked up the dishes to place them in the sink, then went to grab her lighter and pack of cigarettes before going outside. She sat on the porch swing, smoking lazily as she watched the birds flying between the trees. She then let her eyes flutter shut, inhaling the familiar, comforting scent of the surrounding woods, feeling the gentle breeze caress her face. If she were to be honest with herself, she had to admit she missed this, missed the peace and quiet of the small town where she knew most everyone. But she had needed to flee Greendale after Adam, then had needed to flee Paris after Lucifer, who still somehow found her in the maze that is New York City. He had left her broken at the seams, both physically and emotionally, and she couldn't even tell with much certainty how long it had taken for her to recover, for she had spent months drowning herself in alcohol in a vain attempt to forget, had sequestered herself in her studio apartment, unable to eat or sleep as she was still terrified he might find a way to get to her despite the restraining order. Mary had visited her after not getting answers to any of her calls, and had found her lying half-conscious on the couch, empty bottles of cheap whiskey and beer scattered all across the table and living room floor. She had stayed for weeks, nursing her back to health until Lilith had managed to convince her she was fine, that she should go back to work. The brunette felt her chest tighten at the memories, and her eyes snapped open when her cigarette slipped from her fingers and burned her hand. Only then did she realise tears were running down her cheeks, and she huffed in annoyance, pushing the thoughts away. She went back inside the quiet cottage, fetched the biography of Kandinsky she had brought with her from her room and settled down on the couch, flicking through the pages and letting her mind wander as she admired the paintings.

A couple of hours later, Zelda came padding down the stairs wearing a loose-fitting yellow blouse and a pair of dark jeans, and noticed Lilith sitting in the living room. She let out a small yawn, stretching her arms over her head before walking in.

"Good morning."

She greeted, her voice still hoarse with sleep, and joined the brunette on the couch, who gave her a small, mischievous smile.

"Morning sleepyhead."

She teased, and redhead rolled her eyes, ignoring the comment. She tucked her legs beneath her and shifted to face the brunette.

"How do you feel?"

_ What is it with these women?  _

“Much better, thank you.”

She assured with a soft smile before closing her book and placing it on the coffee table. There was a short, but comfortable silence before Lilith asked.

“Are you staying in today? Or do you have plans?”

There was a glint of hope in her eyes, as if she didn’t want to be alone, and it somewhat saddened Zelda.

“I’m going to have lunch with Edward because he immediately went to meet Diana when he came back, so I didn’t get to see him yesterday…”

Lilith nodded. Then the redhead said softly.

"But I still have about two hours before I need to leave so...maybe we could spend some time together? I mean...only if you'd like to, of course…"

She added shyly, and the artist quickly placed a hand on hers, taking her by surprise as she awkwardly looked down at them.

"Of course I'd like that. Do you want to have some coffee before we go?"

"I- yes, but where are we going?"

"The forest? I could bring my paints. I haven't produced anything in a while, and...and I hoped I could do something while I'm here."

Zelda smiled as she nodded, squeezed her hand lightly before letting go. They moved to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and a cigarette, then Lilith went upstairs to gather her things before joining the younger woman at the door. They made their way outside, walking in silence for a while.

"Do you want me to carry that for you?"

"You don't always need to…"

The cellist raised an eyebrow, as if daring her to say no, and the artist chuckled lightly.

"Fine. Thank you, Zelda."

She agreed, trying to hide how grateful she truly was, and the musician gave her a bright smile that reached the corners of her eyes, making Lilith's breath catch for a split-second. She cleared her throat, and they resumed their walk in silence until they reached a familiar clearing, sitting down on a large, fallen tree trunk opposite the sisters' rock. The brunette pulled out a small easel from the bag, a rectangular piece of cardboard, acrylic paints of primary colours and a few sheets of drawing paper. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, desperately hoping she would finally manage to do _something_ after months of _nothing._ She was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard Zelda let out a heavy sigh, making her raise an inquisitive eyebrow.

_ "I already miss her…" _

The artist hummed her understanding. She sounded so far away, almost as if the words had been a mere thought that had slipped out of her of its own accord, and Lilith found herself having to resist the urge to take the younger woman in her arms.

"You really love her, don't you?"

It was a question, but not really.

"I do. More than anything. Sometimes it- it's almost overwhelming…"

Silence fell over them as they both seemed to get lost in thought for a moment; Lilith unsure of what to say, Zelda already longing to be with Mary again, and wondering why she was even opening up to a virtual stranger so easily.

"You know...I’ve never seen her look at anyone the way she looks at you. She loves you so much, Zelda...more than you could possibly imagine."

The musician nodded softly, a single tear rolling down her cheek as she looked down at her lap, and the brunette slowly shuffled closer. She tentatively wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and was somewhat surprised when the redhead didn't freeze, nor did she move away, but leaned against her as if they'd known each other forever.

_ "I know." _

She whispered so quietly Lilith barely heard her, but she did and softly smiled to herself. Zelda seemed so small pressed against her side, and the artist felt this deep desire to protect her; from what, she didn't know, but knew she would do it no matter what. She let her eyes wander around the clearing, and spotted a deer behind the trees, which surprised her considering they rarely showed themselves in the light of day. She lightly nudged the redhead, who turned to look at her, finding the brunette looking straight ahead.

_ "Zelda, look over there." _

She whispered, as if her voice might scare away the creature that stood at least thirty yards away from them. The redhead followed her gaze and spotted the animal, who stared right back at her, seemingly unbothered, and it made her gasp quietly. 

"It's so beautiful...majestic…"

"Quite…"

She agreed before carefully picking up a pencil as Zelda slightly moved away, and started a rough sketch of the dear, then the trees surrounding it, but when she looked up again, it had disappeared, and she huffed in frustration.

"Well...shows how impermanent beautiful things are..."

The cellist hummed a half-hearted agreement, and a comfortable silence enveloped them. She observed their surroundings, as if in awe of the beauty of Nature for a while before she closed her eyes, looking almost as if she were entering some sort of meditative state. Lilith couldn't help but throw a few sideways glances, afraid she might get caught for some reason, and admired her side profile, instantly committing her beautiful features to memory. She allowed herself to observe her more carefully as she seemed to be completely unaware, and the brunette could almost see the wheels turning in her mind, making her wonder what she might be thinking, but didn't ask. Instead, she picked up the piece of cardboard and taped a sheet of drawing paper on it, placing it in her lap before starting to draw an outline, surprising herself as she seemed to be able to picture her quite accurately. When she was somewhat satisfied, she added the light shadows the rays of sun that filtered through the trees cast over her pale face. The only sounds that could be heard were the pencil drawing over paper and birds chirping in the distance, and after a while, Lilith was startled when Zelda seemed to have snapped back to the moment, returning from wherever her mind might have gone.

"What are you drawing?"

The artist froze for a second before she sighed in relief when she noticed the younger woman still had her eyes closed.

"I umm...not entirely sure yet. But I can already imagine it will turn out to be beautiful…"

"Hmm…"

The musician took deep, calm breaths as she felt a light breeze caress her face, and the older woman tried her best to capture how it made a few strands of her auburn hair move gracefully. She decided to keep her piece in pencil, at least for now, and covered it with some parchment paper before carefully putting it in her bag. Zelda's eyes fluttered open, and she turned to look at her with a content smile on her face.

"Shall we head back?"

Lilith nodded and packed up the rest of her things before slowly getting up to her feet, letting out a small groan as her back was stiff after having stayed in a seated position for a while, but Zelda thankfully didn't comment. She offered her arm, and the redhead raised an eyebrow questioningly, but smiled and stood up before taking it. They started walking back towards the cottage, and after a few moments, the musician blurted out, sounding almost as if she regretted the question as soon as it left her mouth.

"Have you ever been in love?"

She felt the artist tense beside her.

"Love? I umm...I suppose I was once...and another time it was just an illusion…"

She didn't say anything more, and Zelda didn't push further. As the cottage came into sight, the redhead offered hesitantly.

"Do you want me to prepare lunch for you? Just something you could have whenever you feel like..."

"That's very kind of you, but I'll be fine."

The cellist paused for a second, and stopped, making Lilith frown in confusion as she turned back to face her.

"Then please promise me you'll eat something."

"I…"

"Lilith...you don't need to tell me anything...but you fainted yesterday, and I'm not stupid, I noticed how you push around your food and cut it up in tiny pieces, looking as if someone is threatening you into eating. Not to mention you look quite-"

"Weak?"

There was a bite in her voice that she hadn't intended, but she wasn't offended.

"No, I-"

"Skeletal?"

"Whatever. You know what I mean. I know we've only just met, but I...I really like you, and I care about you, so please just promise me…"

Lilith's face softened and she closed the short distance between them to take her hand, squeezing it lightly.

"Okay. I promise."

Zelda smiled, relieved, and they soon reached the house, making their way inside, and the brunette went to place her bag beside the couch before sitting down with a sigh.

"Tea?"

"Hmm? Oh yes, that would be lovely. Thank you, dear."

The redhead smiled, went to the kitchen, and soon came back with a tray, a pot filled with green tea and two cups, settling down beside the artist. They took a few sips, relishing in the slight burn, then each lit a cigarette and after exhaling a steady stream of smoke from slightly parted lips, Zelda asked.

"What's it like for you? Living as an artist?"

"Oh, you know...really great."

The older woman said, sarcasm dripping from her tongue, and the musician chuckled in understanding.

"Hmm...but I like the sort of...freedom that comes with it."

"Yes...but you've got to admit it's hard…"

She mused quite sadly, and Zelda nodded softly 

"It really is. I can't even keep count of the number of times I almost gave up...but then music always called back to me, because it felt as if a part of me was missing…"

"Makes sense. I would imagine your instrument is an extension of your being."

Zelda hummed in agreement, though she hadn't truly ever thought of it that way.

"I hope you will play for me someday…"

"What? Oh, of course...I might bring my cello here this weekend. As strange as it sounds, I already miss it…"

Lilith snorted lightly.

"As I said. It's a part of you. So that seems perfectly natural."

There was a pause as they smoked and drank their tea silently.

"Playing with Mary is something else though...even when I was still in high school, it already felt as if we had a special connection."

"High school?"

"Well, yeah...I- I was her student...you didn't know?"

She asked, suddenly feeling nervous, and Lilith leaned forward to crush her cigarette in the ashtray before placing a comforting hand on her forearm.

"No, I did. I just haven't really been thinking about it since…"

She seemed to hesitate, but gave in as the redhead kept looking at her expectantly. She sighed.

"Since...I believe it was almost a year after you left for Juilliard. Mary...she- she called me, and she sounded so broken I instantly knew something was wrong. I had to insist for weeks until she finally opened up, and once she started, she couldn't stop talking about you. She hated herself for so long...was convinced it had been wrong of her to have a close relationship with you, but at the same time her voice, her eyes would light up every time she spoke of you…Whenever she came to New York, she wanted to contact you, to see you, or even to just hear your voice again, but then she...she would back out at the least minute..."

A few tears rolled down Zelda's cheeks, and before she could stop herself, the brunette reached out and gently wiped them away.

_ "She still blamed herself only a few days ago…" _

The younger woman breathed out, then added sadly, while trying to regain her composure.

"If only I had known earlier that she- that she felt the same...we- I…"

"Hey...I know. But it's in the past, and you've found each other now."

The cellist nodded softly, and couldn't help but smile softly at the thought. She was so glad to have this new woman in her life now, who she already felt could almost be like the older sister she never had. She shuffled closer and tucked her legs beneath her, leaned against Lilith, who automatically wrapped an arm around her.

"And by the way...I really like you too. I think we are not so different, you and I, Zelda…"

She felt the younger woman tense beside her, making her frown in confusion. 

"Did I say something wrong?"

"Not at all. It's just...Mary said the exact same thing to me the first night we saw each other again…"

"Oh...I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's just a strange coincidence, so it unsettled me a little, that’s all."

Silence fell over them as they simply sat there together for a while, lost in thought, until the redhead broke it.

“I need to go…”

Lilith squeezed her one last time before releasing her, giving her a small smile.

“Okay. Say hi to your brother for me?”

“Of course, but I- you know him?”

“Well, not really. I believe I’ve only met him once, in town, with your mother, when he was still a boy…”

She mused quite nostalgically.  The musician nodded and got up, picked up her purse and made her way to the door. She looked back and said.

“I’ll see you tonight?”

She heard the brunette laugh lightly.

“Of course! Where else would I be?”

Zelda smiled and went out to her car, turned on the engine and drove into town.

* * *

She pulled up to their favourite local diner and coffee shop, smiling to herself as she spotted her brother’s car already parked there. She made her way inside and found Edward sitting in a booth in a quiet corner, and he stood up, smiling widely when saw her.

“Eddie!”

She exclaimed before rushing towards him and wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

“I missed you, lil’ sis.”

She rolled her eyes at him and they both sat down. He grinned as he noticed the bright smile on his sister’s face that wouldn’t drop.

“I think I’ve never seen you looking this happy. Hilda told me you went back out yesterday evening and didn’t come home afterwards. So, spill it. What’s up?”

He asked with an eyebrow raised.

“I umm…”

She was interrupted by the waiter who came to take their order, and she asked for avocado on toast along with fried eggs as he chose waffles and bacon. She took a deep breath when they were alone again.

“It’s Mary…”

He gasped in what seemed to be genuine surprise.

“Mary? You mean Ms Wardwell Mary?”

“I- yes. We...we’re together…”

She wrung her hands and looked down at them, suddenly feeling nervous for reasons she couldn’t quite name, and he placed his hand on her hers, stilling her anxious movements, urging her to look up at him. She did, and let out a small sigh of relief when she saw the soft smile playing on his lip, eyes lighting up.

“Well...if she is the one who is making you this happy, then I am beyond happy for you.”

She couldn’t help but smile back before she added.

“I love her...so much. I have ever since I was sixteen…”

“What? And you’ve kept that from us all this time?”

“Well...I recently learned Hilda had kind of guessed. But it was something I wanted to keep to myself because...because I think I was ashamed? I’m not sure, but you’ve got to admit it would have been seen as...very wrong.”

He hummed in understanding as he figured she was right; in a small town like Greendale, gossip spread like wildfire, not to mention the majority of its inhabitants were quite conservative, and homophobic. They would have targeted Mary even if she had never done anything wrong, only befriended her favourite student. The waiter soon returned with their food, and they ate in silence for a while, Zelda realising she was actually starving. 

“Oh...Lilith says hi, by the way.”

“Uh...who’s Lilith?”

“Mary’s sister. Well, twin sister, actually. She said she met you when you were still a kid.”

She said through a chuckle.

“That might explain why I don’t remember her…does she live here?”

“No...New York…”

There was a hint of sadness in her voice that slightly confused him, but he chose not to comment. Zelda took a sip of water before asking.

“How’s Diana?”

He smiled impossibly widely, and his joy was contagious.

“She’s great. Pregnancy really suits her. She’s glowing!”

“I’m so happy for you two. How far along is she?”

“Four months already! Can you believe it?”

“Well, no.”

They laughed, then the waiter returned to pick up their empty plates, and they asked for the bill before they soon left for the Spellman house. When they arrived, they settled down in the living room for coffee, and Zelda immediately lit a cigarette. Edward told her about how they had found the perfect house in Cleveland, how well it went in the orchestra for him and Hilda, and his excitement made her smile. She couldn’t stop smiling as she thought about how her brother was engaged to the woman he loved, already expecting a child, how her sister was engaged to the man she loved, and how she herself had finally gotten to be with the woman she had loved for what felt like forever. He cleared his throat as he noticed she seemed distracted.

“What’s on your mind, Zelds?”

She shook herself out of her thoughts, huffed in annoyance as some ash fell onto her lap and quickly brushed it away before crushing the filter in the ashtray.

“I’m just so happy all three of us have found love…”

She hadn’t realised a few tears had rolled down her cheeks until Edward came to sit beside her and took her hand, squeezing it comfortingly. She chuckled in embarrassment and swiftly wiped them away before he took her in his arms.

_ “We deserve to be happy. You deserve to be happy.” _

She nodded softly against his shoulder, and when they parted, he suggested.

“Let’s play something together. It feels like it’s been ages!”

He said it quite dramatically, and the redhead chuckled, but it was true.

“How about...Passacaglia and the Ravel sonata?”

He gave her a bright smile before saying, with some nostalgia.

“That’s- we played that at our high school graduation ceremony…”

She hummed, an eyebrow raised, and they went to get their instruments before settling down close to the piano, Zelda using the bench and Edward standing a few feet away. They played through much more than what the younger Spellman had suggested, and before they knew it, they heard the front door open and shut. Hilda soon appeared in the doorway, smiling, and the only word that left her mouth was.

“Tea?”

They nodded before joining their little sister in the kitchen. After a while, the cellist asked nervously.

“Do you know if we have our usual family dinner on Saturday?”

“Well, mother and father are coming home tomorrow, so I expect so, yes. Why?”

Edward replied, frowning as he saw the strange expression on her face.

“I...I would like to invite Mary…”

“So you want to tell them?”

Hilda asked, and her usual, warm voice immediately brought some comfort to Zelda.

“Yes. I need to know...I just need to know if they’ll accept me, and her, together, because she’s everything to me so if they don’t, I- I won’t...”

She trailed off, a few tears gathering in her eyes, and the blonde took her hand, drawing soothing circles on the back of it.

“Hey...I’m sure it will be fine.”

She said with as much conviction as she could muster, and the older sister forced herself to believe her words, smiling weakly. They moved to the living room, talked and played cards while Zelda smoked cigarette after cigarette, but her siblings thankfully didn’t comment, for once. As the sun began to set, she said.

“I think I’ll go back, but I’ll return tomorrow before they get home.”

“Alright.”

Hilda said simply with a small nod of her head, though she seemed disappointed by the fact her big sister was always going back and forth now.

“Do you know at what time they’ll arrive?”

She crushed her last cigarette in the ashtray before looking at them expectantly.

“Mid-afternoon, I believe.”

Edward replied softly through a small smile.

“Well then, I’ll be here sometime after lunch.”

They both nodded, and she gave them each a hug goodbye, whispering a small  _ I love you  _ before they parted. She then drove away from her childhood home, hoping Mary was back from Baxter High.

* * *

At the cottage, Lilith was sitting in an armchair close to the fire, the drawing on her lap, adding contours and shadows with charcoal. She was so absorbed in her task she didn’t hear Zelda come in, and was startled when she finally noticed her presence, her voice much closer than she might have expected.

“Hey…”

The brunette looked up at her, and saw the younger woman’s gaze directed towards the drawing. She felt her throat go dry, making it hard to swallow as she waited with bated breath for the cellist to say something as her facial expression was unreadable.

“Lilith, is that... _ me?" _

“I…yes. I’m so sorry...I- I should’ve asked.”

She hated how weak and hoarse her voice came out, but she felt herself sigh in relief when Zelda gave her a small smile and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“No, it’s okay. It’s quite...I would’ve said beautiful if it wasn’t me.”

The artist raised a curious eyebrow.

“Well, then I’ll say it for you. You  _ are  _ beautiful.”

The redhead smiled again, a faint blush creeping up her pale cheeks at the compliment. She squeezed her shoulder before going to settle down on the couch, lighting a cigarette, and Lilith went back to her drawing.

“Shouldn’t Mary be home by now?”

The older woman looked up and let out a quiet sigh.

“Normally, she should, yes, but she called and said not to expect her for dinner because she’s trapped in those dreadful parent-teacher meetings as the end of the school year is only a few weeks away. Plus, she will probably have to stay to go through some paperwork...Honestly, she’s been basically doing the principal’s job for years now, without getting any credit nor the payraise it should come with. Useless man.”

“Oh...I hate that she doesn’t get the recognition she should…”

“Well...if anyone could convince her to vie for the position, it would be you.”

She said with an eyebrow raised.

“I- I think you might be right…”

Lilith hummed in satisfaction and a comfortable silence settled over them until Zelda said.

“I should get started with dinner...are you hungry?”

“Not really...but I suppose I should eat…”

The redhead smiled and got up, heading towards the kitchen, but the brunette’s low voice stopped her.

“Actually, Zelda...You always do the cooking, and I’m utterly useless in the kitchen, so why don’t we order pizza?”

“Okay...Yes, that would be nice.”

She agreed, and walked to the phone to order, then went back to sit on the couch and picked up a book while they waited for the food. About half an hour later, the delivery boy showed up at the door with a Neopolitan pizza, and she thanked him before giving him quite a generous tip. 

“Here we go. Let me just go get some drinks.”

Lilith smiled and moved to the couch.

“I doubt my sister keeps diet coke in her fridge?”

Zelda chuckled, for it was true.

“So do I, but I’ll check.”

She disappeared in the kitchen and soon came back with a glass of sparkling water and a can of diet coke, making the artist’s eyes light up in surprise.

“Oh my God!”

The younger woman couldn’t help but laugh at the genuine shock on her face, then picked up the cardboard box and sat down next to her.

“If I’m not cooking, I’d rather skip doing the dishes as well, so we might just go rogue and forgo plates.”

“Of course.”

Lilith agreed through a chuckle, and Zelda shuffled a bit closer so she could place the box on their laps, both women sitting with their legs stretched out, feet propped up on the coffee table. The brunette grabbed the remote and turned on the television.

“If we’re having a pizza night, we should do it right. Oh look, Homeland!”

“I love that show! I believe I’ve watched up to season four.”

“Wait...seems like this is the second episode of season five, so we should be fine.”

The cellist smiled and they watched in silence as they ate their pizza, Lilith almost moaning at the taste, realising she was hungrier than she had thought. When the scene where the journalist’s interview played on the television in Saul’s office, the older woman chuckled lightly, making the redhead turned to look at her, frowning in confusion.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. It’s just...you look so much like Alison Carr it’s unreal.”

“Well, thanks for the compliment, I’ll gladly take it. I’ve actually been told by a few friends that Miranda Otto almost looks like she could be my mother.”

“Hmm...yes, though you do look quite a lot like Clara…”

She mused, observing the musician’s facial features and auburn hair.

“You know my mother?”

“Of course! Mary and I went to school with your parents as we’re all roughly the same age.”

“Right…”

There was a slightly awkward pause as Zelda seemed to mull it over for a moment, but it quickly dissipated and they went back to eating and watching the show. When they finished the food, the younger woman went to pour them each a glass of whiskey before returning to the couch and handing one to the brunette, who gave her a grateful smile. 

“Fuck.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t have any cigarettes left.”

Lilith explained and huffed in annoyance. The cellist pulled out her pack, noticing there was only one left but offered it to her.

“Oh no, I won’t take your last one.”

Zelda seemed to hesitate for a moment, afraid it might be awkward, but then suggested.

“I guess we could share…”

“You really don’t mind?”

“Of course not.”

  
They sipped on their drinks and passed the burning cigarette between them until only the filter remained, and the brunette crushed it in the ashtray. At some point in the middle of the fourth episode, Lilith felt the younger woman leaning heavily against her, and noticed she had fallen asleep. She smiled, not daring to wake her, and carefully pulled the blanket from the back of the couch before throwing it over them. Soon after, the artist drifted off as well, and that’s how Mary found them a couple of hours later; her lover asleep, snuggling into her sister’s side, and her eyes widened at the scene for a split second before her lips curled into a soft smile. She thought of waking them up, worrying about Lilith’s back, but didn’t have the heart to do so. She padded towards them, pressing a loving kiss to the top of their heads and whispering a small  _ I love you  _ against their hair, and she saw Zelda smile in her unconscious state, making her heart melt into a puddle. She quietly made her way upstairs, knowing she’d have to wear one of her lover’s nightdresses to bed, because she couldn’t fall asleep without being surrounded by her comforting scent anymore.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for a short mention of suicide 
> 
> Schumann Widmung (from Myrthen, op.25): https://youtu.be/r9ZV6uZWXzk  
> quick note: Schumann wrote this song to try and express everything he felt for his wife, Clara
> 
> Schubert Impromput in G-flat Major: https://youtu.be/FxhbAGwEYGQ
> 
> Schumann Myrthen, op.25: https://open.spotify.com/album/0oj29m1jw71fJ7coMi05ro?si=CHgJCPzNQUOh1V_055-iZw
> 
> Schubert:  
> Auf dem Wasser zu singen: https://youtu.be/_ZlQCtf_Cio  
> Erlkönig: https://youtu.be/8noeFpdfWcQ  
> Ave Maria: https://youtu.be/do5ZmQQM8AE  
> Nacht und Träume: https://youtu.be/nCBkCPHrXXg  
> Ständchen: https://youtu.be/jCxdoFQlhqg
> 
> Schumann Spanisches Liederspiel, op.74: https://open.spotify.com/album/1gpUpcEHF0UcXUgBrqApYy?si=NHz7liQaSBOZw_tBxdR92A

It was still dark outside when Zelda was awoken by a soft groan and a slight shift beside her. She glanced at her watch in the faint lamplight. 5h10. She turned to look at Lilith with tired eyes, and didn't need to ask what was wrong, just gently ran her hand up and down the brunette's back as she was leaning forward, elbows resting on her knees, holding her head in her hands.

"Sorry I woke you…"

"Don't worry, it's fine...Is there anything I can do?"

She asked calmly, now wide awake, and the artist slowly shook her head with a sigh.

"No...but thank you, dear. I'll just wait until Mary wakes up and I'll go take a hot shower. You should go to bed…"

"I'm awake now, and I wouldn't want to wake her. She should be up in a couple of hours anyway..."

_And I want to keep you company. I don't_ _want you to suffer alone_. Lilith nodded, feeling quite grateful. She stood up slowly, hands pressed on her lower back as she started pacing back and forth on the carpet while trying to ignore the pain. The redhead sat back, taking a few relaxing, deep breaths, and watched her silently, feeling rather useless. It went on for a while until the older woman felt a little better and went back to sit beside the cellist. 

_ "These damn bones." _

She muttered mostly to herself as she leaned against Zelda. They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments as the younger woman held her, the artist looking down at her lap, hypnotized by her long fingers as she absently tapped them against her thigh. The musician didn't bother to hide her scars around Mary, not since she had first seen them, but Lilith hadn't, and Zelda saw her gaze subtly shifting from her hand to her wrist. The brunette took her hand and turned it over before starting to gently trace the lines, and the younger woman winced as she expected the inevitable, whispered  _ “Zelda…” _ filled with a mix of pity and compassion, but it didn't come. Instead, the older woman drew her fingertips along the scars with the utmost care, as if she might break her, or as if she could heal them. The silence felt somewhat suffocating to the redhead, and before she could even think to stop herself she blurted out, her voice devoid of any kind of emotion.

"I tried to take my own life."

Saying it aloud felt strange, almost as if it hadn't even truly happened, because it felt like it had been an eternity ago, in another life. Lilith hummed, and the musician waited with bated breath for her to react as she felt an unexplainable wave of anxiety rush over her.

"I understand."

She simply said while gently drawing circles over the faint marks with the pad of her thumb, and Zelda slowly let out the breath she had been holding.

"You...did you…"

"No...but I wanted to. Many times."

_ Were you there when Mary did? And why did she? When? How? _ She wanted to know everything as what Mary had told her had been rather vague, but then it was as if the artist had read her mind.

"I assume she already told you that she did though…and I was there to pick up the pieces. I didn't even dare consider it again after that. I would never want her to go through the pain I did because of it..."

It felt strangely natural to them to talk about this, and maybe it was because the sun hadn't quite risen yet, which almost made it feel like time had come to a halt, freezing them in between worlds, or maybe it was simply because they felt safe with each other.

"But I believe it is her story to tell…"

Lilith added, and the cellist nodded softly above her. There was a pause, and the brunette felt a nervous energy radiating off of the redhead that slightly confused her.

“I want to tell her about my life in New York...I really do, but I- I know it will hurt her, and she will only blame herself for that too…”

“Hmm...well, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

Zelda seemed to hesitate. She didn’t want to be a burden. She had always kept everything to herself and away from everyone, even from Miranda, up until she couldn’t. But Lilith was here, seeming to genuinely just want to  _ be there for her. _

_ “I just missed her so much…” _

She said, barely above a whisper, her voice betraying more emotion than she would have wished, and she was rather relieved that the older woman couldn’t see her face at that moment, because she wasn’t sure if she would have been able to speak if she could. There were a few beats of silence, and Lilith just patiently waited as she closed her tired eyes and breathed calmly, which was grounding for Zelda.

“Of course I was extremely grateful to have the opportunity to study there, to meet incredible peers and professors, but that just wasn’t enough...No one knew how truly miserable I was, not my family, not even my best friend, Miranda. I fainted once in the middle of a rehearsal because I couldn’t eat or sleep...She was there when I woke up and could tell something was horribly wrong, and I had to finally open up a little, but it still wasn’t much. I did have depression, and it runs in my family, but...but I just knew it wasn’t only that, because I felt this  _ gaping hole  _ in my heart that I knew could only be filled by-”

“Mary…”

“Yes.”

She paused, though trying not to get too deeply lost in the memories, trying to think of them as if she were merely recounting a story, one that wasn’t so inherently hers.

“I honestly wonder how I managed to live away from her for so many years…”

“You are a strong woman, Zelda Spellman.”

“I-”   
  


“Don’t even try to contradict me. I feel it. I just know.”

She said it with so much conviction and finality, without any space to argue, that it made the redhead let out a half-hearted chuckle. She heard the artist try and fail to hold back a small groan, which immediately pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Are you okay?”

“I...do you mind if…”

“Of course not.”

She assured, moving her hands away so the brunette could lay down with her head in her lap, legs pulled up to soothe her lower back, and Zelda started mindlessly playing with her hair as a distraction.

“Every time I performed, I would imagine Mary was there, in the audience, or even right next to me...and it was the only thing that gave me the courage to play. Actually...maybe that is how I managed to go through life at the time...by imagining she was always there...I sound insane.”

She thought aloud, and Lilith just laughed dryly.

“You definitely don’t sound insane. Just in love. Madly in love.”

Zelda couldn’t help but let out a small, humourless chuckle.  _ It sure drove me mad. _

“It’s ridiculous, but when I found the only picture of us I have, I went to sleep every-”

“Zelda, I swear to God, if you don’t stop saying you’re insane or stupid or ridiculous I’ll combust.”

“Fine. Sorry.”

Lilith hummed, almost purring at the feeling of the younger woman’s fingers raking through her hair.

“And please keep doing that. Keeps my mind off my body.”

“What? Oh...okay.”

She said, almost as if she had been completely unaware of her movements, and smiled shyly.

"Anyway...I held that picture against my heart and cried myself to sleep virtually every night for weeks until...until I felt like I couldn't even breathe, as if all life had already drained out of me, and I...I just couldn't go on anymore…"

She let out a shaky breath and paused, the memory of how she felt at the time making her feel almost completely numb and empty even now.

"But I'm happy now. I've never been this happy in my life. She- she just makes me so happy."

She smiled softly, and when Lilith looked up at her, she couldn't help but smile too.

"Well, I've never been so happy about someone failing at something, Zelda...and I'm glad you managed to finish on a positive note."

She said, an eyebrow raised, and the redhead chuckled lightly. They stayed like that in silence for about half an hour, until they were startled back to reality when Mary showed up, neither having heard her come down the stairs.

"Oh...you're already awake…"

She stated as she made her way to them. She gently placed a hand on her sister's knee and pressed a loving kiss to Zelda's forehead, who then looked up at her expectantly with an eyebrow raised, making her chuckle and softly kiss her lips.

"Yeah...my back again."

"I'm sorry...I thought of waking you up when I came home, but you both looked so peaceful I just didn't have the heart to…"

"Mmh...it's okay."

Her sister assured before slowly stretching her arms over her head and sitting up.

"Well, I'm gonna go take a shower."

The two other women nodded and Lilith disappeared upstairs. 

"It's still early. You should go sleep for a few hours, my love."

The teacher suggested as she sat down beside the cellist, pulling her close.

"Mm-hm...I will. I just want to stay with you until you leave. I missed you…"

"Missed me?"

"I know it's stupid, but I miss you all the time. When you sleep, when you leave for work...It's as if I feel the need to make up for lost time…"

She mused and rested her head on the brunette's shoulder.

"I understand. I feel the same way."

There was a pause as they sat there, relishing the other's presence and warmth.

"I need to eat...do you want something?"

"No, it's too early for me, but I'll join you."

Mary hummed, and they moved to the kitchen, Zelda watching her lover's every movement as she busied herself with preparing breakfast. They sat in silence until the younger woman reluctantly said.

"My parents are returning today...so I'm not sure if I can come back tonight. You know...I don't have the patience for answering any questions they might have...not until we tell them about us."

"Okay…"

She replied as she placed a hand atop hers, smiling softly. She soon left for work, though not before pressing a tender kiss to her lover's lips, who she felt smile against her mouth. The musician went upstairs, changed into a nightdress that still smelled of Mary, and slipped under the covers, falling asleep almost instantly. When she woke up at around eleven, she shared a quick lunch with Lilith before driving to the Spellman house.

* * *

A couple of hours after she had arrived, she heard her parents' car pull up in the driveway, and sighed. She made her way to the door to greet them, and when her mother saw her, she exclaimed.

"Zelda!"

She went to hug her daughter and smiled when pulled back.

"How are you?"

She asked, tucking a strand of auburn hair behind her ear.

"Really great. How did the tour go?"

"It went alright…"

She said through a sigh, and they turned their attention to Samuel as he came walking up the porch stairs carrying their luggage.

"Hey, Zelds."

He greeted softly and squeezed her upper arm.

"Hi, dad."

They went inside, settling down in the kitchen to catch up around tea and cookies. Then Samuel went to put their bags in the bedroom before retiring in his home office.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

She replied without turning to face her as she did the dishes.

"I um...would it be okay if Mary came over for dinner tomorrow night?"

She asked hesitantly, and Clara finally looked back at her, an eyebrow raised in surprise.

"Mary? Oh...yes, of course. I’d be happy to see her."

The cellist subtly hid her smile behind the cup, then thought she needed to justify her idea as it had somewhat sprung out of nowhere. 

"I thought it would be nice to catch up with her...It's been a while…"

She said, catching her mother's eye over the rim of the cup, feeling a hint of guilt in the pit of her stomach as she omitted the fact she had spent the better part of the past week with the brunette, but that couldn’t be helped. The older woman hummed and gave her a soft smile, strawberry blonde locks and hazel eyes glimmering in the afternoon light.

"Could we play Schumann's Widmung? It's the only piece that didn't go well during the recitals...and that one always sounds better with you for some reason."

"Oh...of course."

They moved to the living room, and Zelda sat at the piano, absently running her fingers over the keyboard. She hadn't played in a very long time, but that was one of the only pieces she had never forgotten. Listening to her mother's voice made her feel rather nostalgic, bringing up childhood memories of her parents rehearsing together, and her mother singing her to sleep almost every night. Clara smiled at her, and they ended up playing through almost all of Schubert's Lieder as well.

Sometime towards the end of the afternoon, the Spellman matriarch came knocking on Zelda's bedroom door, finding her sitting up against the headboard with a score in her lap.

"Hey...just came to tell you that your father and I are going to have dinner at some friends' in Riverdale, and we both would like to drink so we will most likely stay the night."

"Okay. I think I’ll be staying over at a friend's too."

"Oh? And who might that be?"

She asked with an eyebrow raised, making the cellist freeze for a second, hoping her mother wouldn't notice her nervousness.

"Someone from school I reconnected with…but I'll be back well before dinner."

Clara hummed, seemingly convinced, and the younger woman felt herself relax. Her mother exited the room, leaving her in her bed, smiling to herself.

* * *

As soon as her parents left in the evening, she waited a few minutes for them to get out on the main road before she grabbed her purse and coat, almost running to her car to drive to the cottage. She knocked as she was not really expected, and Lilith opened the door, a look of surprise on her face before she broke into a bright smile.

"You're here?"

"My parents are going out for the night and I told my mother I was staying at a friend's...I hate lying but I…"

"It's okay...I understand. Come in. Mary should be home in about an hour or so."

She said as she opened the door wider and stepped aside to let the younger woman in. The brunette went back to sit in an armchair and resumed reading her book, but noticed from the corner of her eye that the cellist walked towards the piano and sat on the bench. Her brow shot up in surprise as she started playing Schubert's Impromptu in G Flat, and she immediately shut her book to listen with interest. As the piece came to an end, she went to stand behind her, startling the redhead.

"Won't say I expected this…"

"Oh...well, my father taught us all how to play when we were children. I obviously never practice so it isn't-"

"It was beautiful."

Lilith assured with a smile, then turned to the small bookshelf and retrieved a score before showing it to Zelda, an eyebrow raised.

"Could you play this?"

"M- Myrthen? This is…"

"Is it still your mother's favourite cycle?"

"I believe so, but...how did you know?"

“I um...We sang in choir together when we were kids, and took lessons with the same old lady. She...when we were about twelve, your mother begged her to teach her this for weeks until she finally accepted, and then she would always sing her favourite lines to herself in the corridors…”

There was a fond smile playing on the brunette's lips as she ran her fingers across the cover, and when she looked back at Zelda, the redhead could see her grey-blue eyes filled with nostalgia, and what seemed to be melancholia, but she didn't ask. She decided to break the strange moment before she might lose control and probe further.

"Yeah...I think I could play that."

Lilith gave her a smile that reached her eyes, and opened the book to the first song before placing it on the music rack. Zelda stared at the page for a short moment, remembering playing the exact same piece with her mother only hours ago, but she was now curious to hear the artist’s voice. She exhaled and started playing before she could think any further, and had to remind herself to keep playing when the sound of the older woman’s voice reached her ears; there was such deep and raw emotion in it it would have affected anyone. The younger woman knew the score well enough to look away for a few seconds once in a while, and took in the brunette’s unfocused gaze, how she looked so far away, as if she had travelled to some sacred place of her own. In the last few years, this song had always made Zelda think of Mary, and if Lilith’s current appearance was anything to go by, the redhead knew she must be thinking of someone too. 

Du meine Seele, du mein Herz,

_ You my soul, you my heart, _

Du meine Wonn’, o du mein Schmerz, 

_ You my rapture, o you my pain, _

Du meine Welt, in her ich lebe,

_ You my world in which I live, _

Mein Himmel du, darein ich schwebe,

_ My heaven you, to which I aspire, _

O du mein Grab, in das hinab

_ O you my grave, into which _

Ich ewig meinen Kummer gab!

_ My grief forever I’ve consigned! _

Du bist die Ruh, du bist der Frieden,

_ You are repose, you are peace, _

Du bist vom Himmel mir beschieden.

_ You are bestowed on me from heaven. _

Dass du mich liebst, macht mich mir wert,

_ Your love for me gives me my worth, _

Dein Blick hat mich vor mir verklärt,

_ Your eyes transfigure me in mine, _

Du hebst mich liebend über mich,

_ You raise me lovingly above myself, _

Mein guter Geist, mein bess’res Ich!

_ My guardian angel, my better self! _

The cellist was quite overcome with emotion, but they played through a few, Lilith’s voice particularly poignant. They chuckled and gave each other a knowing look during the next one.

Sitz ich allein,

_ If I sit alone, _

Wo kann ich besser sein?

_ Where could I be better off? _

Meinen Wein

_ I drink my wine _

Trink ich allein;

_ All by myself _

Niemand setzt mir Schranken,

_ Nobody hampers me _

Ich hab’ so meine eignen Gedanken.

_ And I can think my own thoughts. _

“Let’s skip to Die Hochländer-Wittwe. I want to see if I can still hit those notes.”

Lilith said as they came to the end of the sixth song, and the younger woman raised an eyebrow.

“Really? You seem to have a mezzo-soprano voice with a huge range...you hit that G-flat in the first one as if it were nothing.”

“Yes, well...that song is special to me, plus they’re almost continuous in this one…”

Zelda nodded, and as the brunette indeed reached the higher notes with ease, her eyes lit up in genuine surprise, and the redhead couldn’t help but smile. They played a few of the artist’s favourite Schubert Lieder - Auf dem Wasser zu singer, Erlkönig, Ave Maria, Nacht und Träume, and Ständchen, in which Lilith got that same far-away look on her face. The cellist hadn’t realised tears had been streaming down her face until they finished playing and the older woman looked at her, brow furrowed in concern and puzzlement.

“Zelda, what…”

The younger woman blushed, chuckling nervously as she swiftly wiped her tears away before meeting the brunette’s gaze.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know...Your voice, it- it doesn’t sound like it’s coming from your vocal cords or your chest, but...somewhere deeper. Your heart...or even as if…”

She paused as she tried to find the right way of putting her feelings into words, and the older woman was extremely touched, though the redhead’s words somehow confused her further.

“It’s almost as if you’re baring your soul when you sing.”

Lilith’s face paled at that, her features twisting into something dangerously close to fear, and Zelda reached out to take her cold hand in her own, squeezing it lightly in an effort to bring her back from wherever her thoughts might have taken her. The brunette finally met her eyes, looking deeply into green pools filled with admiration.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Don’t apologise. It’s just….no one’s ever told me that before, and- and I’m certainly not aware of it.”

She admitted, frowning slightly, and Zelda waited for her to say something more, but she didn’t, and let her hand fall to her side. Her words were understandable, for how would one be aware of doing such a thing, or do it purposefully? Perhaps the redhead hoped to talk more about it, for some reason, but maybe some other time, they would, or maybe they wouldn’t, and that would be fine too. The cellist was shaken out of her musings when the older woman pulled out a different score and presented it to her, smiling softly.

“I assume a talented musician such as yourself can sing as well?”

“I- not really, no. I obviously had to in harmony class and a few other times but-”

“Try? With me? I'm not inflicting the dread of singing alone upon you.”

She said with a smirk, and the redhead snorted lightly in amusement, then nodded, because she couldn’t -and didn’t particularly want to- say no. She opened Schumann’s Spanisches Liederspiel to the first page, and they played the three duets, Zelda singing the soprano part, and Lilith had known she was probably selling herself short, but this was beyond anything she could have expected. They also sang the soprano and tenor duet, Zelda taking the tenor part one octave higher, and that's how Mary found them when she came home. She stood at the door, stunned, and moved beyond words, because of the obvious natural chemistry between the two women, and because she had no idea her lover could play the piano at all, nevermind like  _ that. _ She was glad that her presence seemed to have gone unnoticed so she could enjoy the moment with them until the end of the song, _ In der Nacht. _

"Zelda?"

She called softly with a bright smile on her face, and the redhead's eyes lit up when she saw her, all but jumping off the bench, though careful enough to avoid shoving Lilith out of the way in the process. The teacher quickly put down the bag of groceries along with her satchel, and took the younger woman in her arms, stroking her hair as she nuzzled her neck.

_ "You came back." _

She murmured, and when they parted, Zelda looked at her with something far too close to shame in her eyes. 

"Yes...my parents are out for the night, and I- I needed…"

"It's okay. I'm just happy you're here."

She soothed before cupping her face between her warm hands as if to ground her and kissing away all her worries. The redhead then hugged her again, holding her tightly for a few moments before they joined Lilith, and Mary grinned, her earlier surprise still showing on her face.

"Well, you two...that was the most beautiful surprise I've come home to in a  _ very  _ long time. And I wonder how many more secret talents you're hiding from me, my love…"

She added with a smirk directed towards the younger woman, an eyebrow raised, and her lover blushed slightly. 

“I believe her pianistic talents can rival your own, sister.”

The cellist scoffed, but couldn’t hide the faint blush that crept up her face, and the teacher just smiled proudly before softly kissing her flushed cheek.

“I’m sure they can.”

She agreed as she wrapped an arm around her waist, then said.

“I hope you’re hungry. I went to get some things on my way home.”

The two other women realised they were actually starving.

“I know I am. What time is it?”

Lilith asked.

“Almost seven…”

“Oh.”

“I know, I’m sorry...had a lot of paperwork to go through...again.”

She added tiredly, almost to herself, and the artist gave Zelda a look, but the younger woman mouthed a discreet  _ not now. _

Mary went to retrieve the bag of groceries and they moved to the kitchen, Lilith watching the lovers with a fond smile playing on her blood-red lips as they busied themselves with preparing dinner, dancing around each other and sharing a few stolen kisses.

"My mother said she'd be happy to have you over for dinner tomorrow night."

Zelda said with a small smile when they moved back to the stove as dinner was ready.

"Oh, I'm glad. I haven't seen her in a while too."

She replied, though she had to force a smile, knowing Samuel would be there as well.

They quickly placed three plates on the table and each talked about their day while they ate, laughing at silly jokes, and the redhead couldn’t help but think about how comfortable she felt here, with them, like she had finally found her place. They spent the rest of the evening lounging in the living room while nursing a glass of whiskey, the cellist comfortably snuggled into the teacher’s side as she listened to the sisters engage in enthusiastic conversations. Before they knew it, it was well past eleven, and they retired for the night as exhaustion started to take over.

After having taken a quick shower together, Mary and Zelda laid in bed, the brunette holding her from behind, an arm thrown over her waist and her face buried in the crook of her neck. Just as she felt herself drifting off, the younger woman shivered, and she only held her more tightly, hoping to give her some warmth.

“Mary?”

The musician called in a small, trembling voice, and the teacher felt sleep momentarily escape her as she realised she hadn’t been cold. She took her hand, interlacing their fingers and giving a reassuring squeeze before resting their entwined hands over the cellist’s stomach, then pressed a soft kiss to the base of her neck and felt her exhale slowly.

“What’s wrong, my love?”

“I- _I’m_ _scared.”_

She confessed in a whisper, and Mary’s heart clenched. She let go of her hand to gently caress her side soothingly.

“Come here.”

Zelda turned around to face her, and the brunette cupped her face, drawing the pad of her thumb across her cheekbone as she gazed deeply into tired green eyes filled with worry.

“You know we don’t need to tell them if you aren’t ready. And even if it feels like more, it’s only been a few days, so-”

“But I want to tell them, Mary. I- I  _ need  _ them to know.”

She said decisively, and the older wouldn't didn't completely understand this  _ need _ , but she also wanted her to obtain some kind of answer, or at least a reaction from her parents. She had told her they didn't know about her...orientation, and her anxiety was understandable, for Mary hadn't ever even fathomed telling her own parents. The cellist's breaths came in a little ragged as her mind spun with all the possible outcomes of the next evening, and a single tear of frustration escaped her eye without her consent, which her lover was quick to wipe away before placing a kiss over it.

_ "Shh...okay.  _ We will tell them,  _ together _ ."

She emphasized before continuing.

"And I'll be there with you, holding your hand, whatever their reaction will be.  _ I'll be there. _ "

She repeated, and Zelda's lower lip quivered as another lone tear rolled down her cheek and she sniffed lightly. 

"Okay."

She said, summoning as much confidence as she could into her voice. The teacher gave her a small, tired smile, and kissed her soundly on the lips, feeling her lover sigh against her mouth as they parted.

"Sleep now, darling."

"Hold me? And don't let go?"

"Do I ever?"

She said with a quirked eyebrow, making Zelda let out a genuine chuckle as she softly shook her head and buried her face in her chest. Mary smiled and rested her chin atop her lover's head, soothingly stroking her hair and pulling her impossibly close until they both drifted off, lulled to sleep by their synchronised breaths, their comforting scent and warmth.


End file.
